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Birthday Parties Mostly Mom's Job?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by Rihana, Aug 24, 2018.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    So the very active thread on birthday parties got me thinking about the parties I planned. Almost 15-16 parties by the grace of God.

    Each party used to be mostly my responsibility. From the date, venue, invitee list, reminding for rsvp's, menu, return gifts, who will take photos, what cake, when to order cake, how to get cake from store to venue without it melting, how to get those darned helium balloons in to the car, decorations if doing at home. Dad helped but mostly needed supervision or nagging or did it differently that I/kid wanted the task done.

    I remember one time I gave him the responsibility of giving return gift to children before they left. Return gift was at entrance of party venue. Now some kids are kind enough to openly ask for return gift : ) but one left after a long good bye yet it didn't strike dad to go give the return gift. Why? Was busy discussing cricket with other dads! When I got mad, he said, "But why did the kid leave so early?" : ) : ) : )

    Now I can laugh at all those memories but I remember how much work it used to be. And often I had to force myself to smile for the photos.

    I am so grateful I always had mommy friends who helped so much.

    So, coming to the question: why are birthday parties mostly mom's job? Why mom has to take care of all details? Why dads get so charmingly clueless even after being through so many parties?
     
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  2. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah Finest Post Winner

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    Jeez, stop whining and be grateful for all the times he protected you from alien invasions, meteor strikes, and marauding genetically-engineered dinosaurs! Why do women complain so much? :mad:o_O
     
  3. peartree

    peartree Platinum IL'ite

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    Just birthday parties? I feel generally anything to do with scheduling falls on the mom's head, be it a doctor's appointment or play dates or class schedules!!

    Often, my husband would only jump in when it comes to the $$ portion of it, making this grand statement that something is very expensive or cheap when significant effort and thought has been put in by me. I simply tell him if he wants to have an opinion, he needs to be involved from the get go. I have to remind him he is not the family's CEO where I am submitting strategy proposals that he can veto. I tell him if he wants to be part of final decision making, he should have been part of the vetting process too!! And usually, both of us being part of the vetting process will most likely result in the partnership breaking. So at least mostly in my household, it is my job for 2 reasons -

    1) It is easy
    2) It is peaceful
     
    BerryPine, jillcastle, Rihana and 4 others like this.
  4. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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  5. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    Because when entrusted with the job the cake was delivered at the wrong address ( don’t ask me how ). The party was on , dad was out trying to get the cake back . I was plain furious. Needless to say the birthday boy was oblivious to all the drama . Very happy and enjoying his day ! Enough for me to forgive daddy ! But some lessons were learnt that day.
     
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  6. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Seriously? Loh phir se wahi pe atak gayi!
     
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  7. magicwand007

    magicwand007 Bronze IL'ite

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    @Rihana

    This is spooky!i saw your post just as I am getting ready to celebrate my son’s 2nd birthday in 2 days and it made me smile how much accurate all your points are.

    I was just complaining to my mom friends that I had to do all the work from deciding the cake design and flavour ,ordering the cake,deciding menu and venue,ordering the food,buying the party favours,ordering my son’s birthday outfit ,calling everyone and all my husband did was shell out the money lol.

    I have just decided that it is too much work and next year only 3 of us are going to cut the cake and celebrate at home (I am sure that I will change my mind next year lol)

    Yes,I do feel after talking to a lot of my friends that the whole responsibility mostly falls on the mom.The reason I feel is that if you have it the dad’s way they would rather not celebrate it like this(or at all).They are clueless about party themes ,party favours,decorations etc etc.All my husband asked was if beer was allowed in the venue and was shocked when I said no
     
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  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Now that you mention it, all those do come to or happen at birthday parties. :lol:
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2018
    BeingSoulful likes this.
  9. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    LOL. I use almost the same words, except it is President vetoing proposals.

    True.

    We've ended up extending with a modified MO for biggish ventures. Furniture, vacation, new dish washer ... one does the research, short lists choices, and then go over choices together. LOL once in a while even a compliment sneaks in when one sees the spreadsheet other has created. : )
     
  10. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    I remember one year when I was so worked up that I nastily asked DH if I should send him an evite. : ) Of course, he simply said, "Yeah sure."

    I used to have a niggling feeling that I am caring more about colors, balloons, choice of cake flavor etc etc than the child. Yeah... beer... : ) One time my friend got mad when dads in guest list asked if there will be a TV at the venue showing some important game. At the party, they wondered why anyone would schedule party on that Sunday afternoon. : )
     

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