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Birth Order Of Children

Discussion in 'Jokes' started by daffodil, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. daffodil

    daffodil Bronze IL'ite

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    <TABLE style="BORDER-RIGHT: #abdbef 1px solid; BORDER-TOP: #abdbef 1px solid; BORDER-LEFT: #abdbef 1px solid; BORDER-BOTTOM: #abdbef 1px solid" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" bgColor=#daf0fe border=0><TD style="BORDER-LEFT: #abdbef 1px solid" vAlign=top><TABLE height="96%" cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0>1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN
    confirms your pregnancy.

    2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

    3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.
    <SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Preparing for the Birth:

    1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

    2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time,
    breathing didn't do a thing.

    3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    The Layette:

    1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and
    fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

    2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and
    discard
    only the ones with the darkest stains.

    3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Worries:

    1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick
    up
    the baby.

    2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your
    firstborn.

    3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical
    swing.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Pacifier:

    1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until
    you
    can go home and wash and boil it.

    2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with
    some juice from the baby's bottle.

    3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Diapering:

    1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need
    it or not.

    2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

    3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to
    complain
    about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Activities:

    1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and
    Baby
    Story Hour.

    2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

    3 rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry
    cleaner.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Going Out:

    1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call
    home five times.

    2nd baby : Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a
    number where you can be reached.

    3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she
    sees
    blood.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    At Home:

    1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

    2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older
    child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby

    3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the
    children.
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB>
    Swallowing Coins:

    1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the
    hospital and demand x-rays.

    2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for
    the coin to pass.

    3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his
    allowance!
    </SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB><SUB></SUB>_



    <TABLE height=39 cellSpacing=0 cellPadding=0 width="100%" border=0><!--<td> [​IMG] Report Abuse </td>--><TD vAlign=center align=middle>Cheers,
    Daffodil



    <TD vAlign=center align=middle><TD vAlign=center align=middle>
     
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  2. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Interesting observation, some which are true!
     
  3. Moonbeams

    Moonbeams Bronze IL'ite

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    Great observations...mostly first n the 2nd one is nearly true....
     

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