BIL's visit ...Please help

try to treat his sarcastic statements as just statements. let them go 'un-understood'. possible?

 

I do not think this is something you should even ignore...it is about time you give back.
What i wonder is that why u do not get support from your DH in this regards when he is insulting you left and right.

May be you want to start thinking what he may taunt on and get answers ready , or just be offensive. This is outrageous and he is getting stronger as neither of you are pushing him back on it.

If nothing try to make a scene if you cannot give it back on words. As soon as he taunts start crying loudly , espeically if you are outside.

Please do something, this is something should not be ignored. You need to have a serious talk with your hubby and tell him this is hurting you and u need his support.


Your DH has to take a stand for u....

 

You have to put your foot down. He cant take you for granted. He is supposed to give you the same respect he is supposed to give his brother. Speak in front of your DH itself boldly against his comments.

If required tell him, how he is creating problems between you and ur husband. Be bold..

 

This is mind less abuse from this sick bastard.No wonder his wife dumped him.Agree with Anamika here...create a scene every time he does it.If he passes sarcastic comments...pull up a chair and ask him what exactly he means by that comment.Stare at him and don't blink.Don't let him get away so easily. If husband objects ...tell him you have to do it because your husband is spineless who lets his wife be insulted in his own house. Tell him you feel like Draupadi being insulted by Duryodhan while your husband looks on.

Tell your husband "jeth"(elder bil ) is supposed to be like a father figure ,not like a road side gunda who takes pleasure in insulting a woman.

 

good draupadi example


After reading OP's post my blood is boiling....and feel like slapping him

 

Second what YM says. Don't respond to his exact words but tell him with eye contact, directly, immediately, "what you said is extremely insulting. And this is not the first time you have been talking like this. I have had enough. What exactly do you mean?" If he tries to pass it off as a joke, "it is in extremely poor taste. I do not want you to make me the butt of your jokes anymore." Don't discuss this with your husband. Give it out directly. If he drinks your milk, again, call him and say directly, "do you remember I am lactose intolerant? This is the only one I can drink. I would like you to be more considerate from now on."

treat at him sternly like a misbehaving child with eye contact. Don't back down. That should put bullies like this into place.

 

This is highly preposterous!
How can your husband say this. Isn't your son BIL's nephew ? If your BIL is so close to your DH, doesn't he have love for DH's son that he would laugh and

Your husband's statement is absurd. You are sad because your son is hospitalized. If your son is hospitalized, your BIL ought to be sad too, because his nephew is hospitalized. Husbands usually don't stand up when the matter is between wife and parents. But not standing up when BIL is the culprit (other than for financial matters), I don't get it.

You need to get ready for fight. I normally don't advise fight, but this is highly abusive situation. You need to give this BIL the taste of his own medicine by sarcastic statements beginning with 'Sorry to be saying so,........ but it seems like your wife left you because you are so abusive, isn't it ?'