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Being a role model, how difficult can it be???

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Shanvy, Jul 2, 2009.

  1. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    A troubled mother took her son, to see Ramakrishna Paramahamsa, it seems the young boy, was addicted to eating sweets, and his mother wanted Paramahamsa to speak to him about this harmful habit and convince him to drop it. Upon hearing this request, Paramahamsa, paused in silence and then told the mother, "Bring your son, back to me in three weeks and I will speak to him then."
    Just as she was instructed, the mother returned with her son, and Paramahamsa, as he had promised, spoke to the boy about the detrimental effects of eating too many sweets. He counseled him to give them up.
    The mother gratefully thanked Paramahamsa, but was perplexed. "Why," she asked him, "did you not speak to my son when we first came to you?"
    "Dear" he replied, "three weeks ago, I myself was still addicted to sweets!", I thought it was Ma’s wish, it took me three weeks to control my addiction.”
    This is a story that has changed my view of doing things. If I want my child to do something, I try my level best to show him that I do that. If I am not able to it, I try to explain to them the reason it is beyond me and that they should try.

    You need to practice what you preach. While television and other media try to drive home the fact that well-known celebrities as role models for kids, I feel, most of the people in general believe parents should/ are the first role models of their child.

    If you want a child who is loving, understanding, you need to establish it with showing him that you love him, understand him. This definitely helps in the longer run. A I love you, a hug, a kiss, goes a long way to teach them that we care, love them and also they tend to reciprocate the same.

    Always be a understanding parent, never be a parent who takes a stand. Listen to your child and learn to see his childhood through his eyes, rather than through a parent’s eye alone. A very communicating and trusting parent will be the one to whom the child will turn to when he needs suggestions or solutions. The more you show that you understand and trust your child, your child is going to trust you to be there for him.

    As parents we cannot demand respect for our age or for the reason we brought our kids to the world. Respect should be felt and given without any pressure. At the same time, we do need to understand the space that our child needs, respect them for that, also keep up their respects in front of their peers.. many a times, we do see parents ridiculing their child in front of his playmates/classmates, which embarrasses and sometimes disgraces the child.

    It is difficult to be a good role model to our kids, as we are human and sometimes we do make mistakes, and the best thing that we could do is to accept the mistake , correct it, in turn teaching our kids that accepting mistakes and they will learn to own up and not hide.
    Maybe we cannot be the best role models, but we can definitely learn to be one by the time our child grows up. Remember reading this, not sure of the author……Don't worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.

    I am not a good role model, and do not feel bad to own it, learning from my mistakes and telling my kids not to make the same mistakes, isn’t all this part of my growing up too…..

    What do you say my friends….
     
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  2. depressed

    depressed Bronze IL'ite

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    Beautiful writing, Shanvy ! Your writings have such depth !
    Even if you are not that "Shanthi" of 21 Golden Rules that I thought you to be- I have read your blogs and posts in the past-and you are equally admirable !
    Thanks,
    "HAPPY"
     
  3. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Shanthi,
    A very good one..this line speaks volumes..' worry that they are watching you'..right in every aspect but we forget that and go on worrything that they are listening to us.
    Being a role model is very hard, I say.

    sriniketan
     
  4. shvap_786

    shvap_786 Gold IL'ite

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    Shanthi... this fact...being a role model is diffcult but it makes so much difference ... recently in a TV show i heard this instead of setting rules , disciplines etc for the kids set that to you and be a role model those kids acheive a lot it seems... they even mentioned that survey showed kids following a role model parents acheived a lot... very valuable blog ...
     
  5. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Happy,

    Thanks a lot for your beautiful words.

    Thanks for reading my blogs...
     
  6. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Sriniketan,

    Thanks for stepping in. yes, the first time i read it, it was just a casual glance, but the meaning and the experience behind those lines looks back at me from every nook of my house today...

    you too...i thought you were so matured that you will not be finding it difficult big B.
     
  7. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Vahee,

    [justify]Welcome here.
    the story where the man has to throw his cap down to make the monkeys throw the caps down...a very simple story that was taught to us at a very young age.

    it is easy to make them follow us without forcing anything, by being there and doing things correct...

    IT is nice to know that survey supports parents as role models...

    thanks for being here dear...[/justify]
     
  8. Vidu29

    Vidu29 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi shanvy,
    What you have written is very true. It is easy to create a certain image of ourselves in kids mind but to hold it for ever requires a lot of integrity & consistency in our part.
    As kids grow their ideas may change & they may see us in a different light What is required is that instead of projecting ourselves as super great souls (a common mistake many do." When I was a student.........") we should not only be truthful about ourselves but also be dynamic in our role. First a guide ... then a friend & also be prepared to learn from them.
    vidya
     
  9. thozhi4u

    thozhi4u New IL'ite

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    What you said is 100% true, being a parent is very easy but being a Good role model is diificult but what is life.Life is all experiences and experiences are the lessons we learn in life.
     
  10. Shanvy

    Shanvy IL Hall of Fame

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    Vidu,

    Nice to have you here.

    You nailed it. many parents start when i was a kid, i did this..and the kids in many households, say "OhO not again..." and sometimes, the kids finish of the sentences..little do the parents or grandparents realise what mistakes they are making.

    It is sometimes very difficult to be consistent, and learn and act according to times and circumstances..
     

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