beauty is very important...

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by anika987, Feb 14, 2016.

  1. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Just for fun..

    Hi guys,

    I am in India for a vacation.had some terrible experiences such as my reunion etc but other than that,lovely to be here in our country basking in the warm sun,having good food,movies etc..fun:)

    Yesterday went out with my friend to mall,movie and food.
    I was well dressed in all branded clothes and was very neat.However,i was made to realize how"beauty is so important".

    My friend is very fair,tall and though plump looks good an well dressed.I am short,thin,darker skin but not bad to look at(tats what i feel:)),one thing i noticed in all these places is how i was totally overlooked. friend got stellar importance and the salesmen and waiters and wherever we went,she was treated like a celebrity despite dressing very normal.i felt totally left out.funny thing..i was the one who brought stuff. i felt quite bad.


    long time back i wrote a thread saying how u need to show off to be classy to be treated well.

    Now,i conclude one thing.classy is not only important.beauty too.else,when one goes out, go with someone who is not too pretty coz no matter what or how one dress up,still will be given secondary importance.
     
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  2. Lathasv

    Lathasv IL Hall of Fame

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    Do we need that much attention on us from unknown persons?thinkingsmiley I go anywhere with someone whom I like , comfortable and enjoy with their company. I don't give importance to how that other person looks ( like more pretty than me or not ) and how unknown persons give importance to me.sorry if I'm wrong.
     
  3. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    ur not wrong dear.thats how one should be actuallyy:)
     
  4. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    Yes, there are people who give importance to outer beauty in this materialistic world....don't believe in their definition of beauty....Inner beauty is more important than outer beauty...Mother Theresa was a real example for inner beauty....in my opinion every good hearted person is beautiful/handsome....
     
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  5. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I'm not going to argue that attractive people don't get better treatment, they do. But are you sure that your attitude isn't affecting how people treat you? I hope you take this in the right spirit. I apologize if I come across as insensitive. Based on your post history, you seem to have seriously low self-esteem. You have a very poor self-image and you let people walk all over you. All your threads are about not fitting in, not having friends, not being fair enough or pretty enough, not having professional accomplishments, and so on. Do you think it's possible that you are projecting your insecurities through your body language, and people are picking up on it?

    Beauty is one component of attractiveness. Confidence and communication skills are two others. In my experience, the latter almost always trump the former. Beauty might make a quick positive impression for a few fleeting seconds, but without confidence the impression is ephemeral. It's confidence that truly makes a person attractive and irresistible.

    Much of confidence is subtle and picked up subconsciously. We are social creatures. When we interact with people, our brains pick up on a variety of nonverbal cues. When we meet a confident person, we subconsciously assume that they have a reason to be confident. That assumption guides our interactions with them. We show respect and interest. This behavior is programmed into our brains. We have what are called mirror neurons. A mirror neuron fires both when we act and when we observe the same action performed by another. These neurons "mirror" the behavior of the other, generating the same emotions as though the observer were itself acting.

    Positive and confident people make us feel good because internally we are mirroring their behavior. You see why we like them? When we meet someone who is timid and afraid, our brains are assessing the person as weak and uninteresting. Negative and diffident people make us feel bad, and we don't like being around them. Projecting weakness and low self-esteem will get you bad treatment irrespective of beauty. Negativity begets negativity. It doesn't matter how pretty you are, people won't want to be with you if you're walking around with a chip on your shoulder. We gravitate towards those who make us feel good. It's biochemistry!

    If you want to be treated well, it's important to be comfortable in your own skin. If you aren't, people will reflect your insecurities back at you. Embrace who you are, and most people will treat you just right. There are always going to be the empty-headed bimbos and shallow idiots who value external appearance above everything else, but they don't deserve rent-free space in your head. Walk up to a mirror and look yourself in the eye. Tell yourself, "I like you. I really like you. I am your biggest fan.", until you believe it. No one will value you unless you value yourself.

    You need to work on your self-esteem. You focus too much on your looks. Looks fade. Pinning your self-worth on them is a lose-lose proposition. Find something worthwhile to worry about -- family, education, skills, hobbies, career and talents. Find a passion and get really good at it. True confidence comes from accomplishment, knowing inside that you are a valuable person, that you have something substantial to offer. If you can't find anything to feel good about, then go out and help other people. Be the kindest, gentlest, most empathetic human you can be. Do random good things for people around you. Feeling good brings confidence, and confidence makes you feel good. It is a self-sustaining cycle but you have to start somewhere. When you believe you are a good person, worthy of love and respect, other people will automatically gravitate towards you.
     
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  6. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    @anika987,

    Self-confidence is far more attractive than mere physical beauty.

    You seem to be a little low-spirited at the moment ... perhaps because of the unpleasant reunion experience. Chin up, Anika. Give this girl a chance, don't let anyone suppress her. :)
     
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  7. inboxsweetee

    inboxsweetee Gold IL'ite

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    Its Just Better never compare and feel for it. Unknown /strangers - why should we want some attention from them ???

    Branded or Normal clothes will not be known to opposite person .... Even we admire any shop and go when we see the Mannequin dressed up attractive.... No matter we buy if it attracts only.

    These sales Man are poor guys working from morning to evening standing through out the day. Just any body looks attractive they just get some spark to work further and may talk good to get the sales job done thats it. After that they know and we know we never think about them whole sort of days or important for us ...

    Also There is no rule who brought for them they just want to make sales .

    So classy, Beauty and normal look all in mind. thats all :)


    Just a generic opinion not to offend you , your friend , sales person , beauty ,brands or classy looks ..............:)

    Completely My opinion .




     
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  8. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Gauri's post says it all.

    The part below brought back some memories of girl-dekko'ing. It was regular practice to not have prettier or more talented in any way girls around when the boy's side came to see the girl. The idea was that there is competition in the marriage market, why place that competition right next to our candidate. I actually recall one uncle using the term 'candidate' for girl. : ) It was funny then, is funny now too.

     
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