Battle against possessiveness

meenaprakash · May 29, 2007

Hello Cheeniya,

So OK. Some amount of possessiveness is then permitted and good.
But how much of it is good and when are we trespassing into dangerous territory depends on the complete understanding of your spouse. This will be a life time learning and is subject to lot of changes depending on the environment, social and economical exposure. The basis of successful adaptation in a woman is total usage of Emotional quotient. Any lack of this, and carelessness to adapt to changes will surely lead to disasters.
This is my point of view. The worst thing is WHO teaches us this EQ ?
This comes from painful experience and maturity, I guess.

radhavenkatesh · May 30, 2007

it is v easy to say to fight against possessiveness but v difficult to do so.
All are possesive in their own ways
whn we love someone we think abt them so much and want them to reciprocate the same . men i hate to say are v mean creatures on the world they are posessive but still want their own free space poor women folks love and loose their mental peace )
married / unmarried or attached its always the women who give more in a relation than men hence they are more possesive abt their partners and i see no fault in their feeling if men could give so much to the relation maybe they wil also be v possesive .

Cheeniya · May 30, 2007

Dear Meena
As you have rightly pointed out, understanding possessiveness is a long,sometimes a life time process. Unfortunately by the time we come to terms with it and are prepared to make the necessary adjustments, it may be too late.
Sri

Cheeniya · May 30, 2007

Dear Radha
You have indeed touched upon a crucial aspect of relationship. What you say is absolutely true.
Women give everything they have in the cause of love and naturally are possessive about their men. But men want everything from their women except the possessiveness.
Men give very little compared to what they get and yet are very possessive! It is a big let down really
Sri

sathya · May 30, 2007

hello

mozhi vantha idam
thedi ninren
inge mozhi peyarthu
thanthuvitteere..

ithayathai urimai kolla
oruvar vendum
avar en anbu vattathil
suzhandru
vattathai thaandaathu
adutha vattam thedaathu
iruthal vendum
aarilirundu nooruvarai
naayilirundu poonai varai
patchiyum thaan
vegu thooram sellamalirukka
araingyan kayiru...

sathya

Cheeniya · May 30, 2007

Dear Sathya
Anda araingyan kayire aalai thurathinal,
veliye payirai meindha kadhaithan!
possessiveness atkollal alla
Atkolli!
Sri

Malathijagan · Jun 1, 2007

Dear Cheeniya sir,
I have been enjoying your thread"Battle against possessiveness" as well as the feed backs.Your replies to the FBs seemed to justify your views.
But even after that I too feel that "possessiveness" should be eqal for both men and women if at all it should be there.(It is difficult to eliminate it from human beings till eternity except may be from the minds of True saints and highly enlightened persons.There is no harm as long as possessiveness leads to a positive development and enriches relationships.

Cheeniya · Jun 1, 2007

Dear Malathi
You have made a valid point. Knowing that a certain amount of possessiveness is inevitable in human lives, is it not prudent to find ways of turning it to enrich relationship rather than breaking it?
As long as possessiveness is contained within limits and not allowed to choke the partner, it can even be a beautiful byproduct of true love.
Sri

meenu · Jun 3, 2007

Dear Cheeniya,
I do agree with our friends here that a little possessiveness stregthens a relationship and adds spice to it. But how possessive we should be or we should like others to be with is the hitch. We do have to tread very carefully. Giving too much space kills therelationship gradually as it reduces involvement.
Regards,
Meenu

Cheeniya · Jun 4, 2007

Dear Meenu
I wish there is some kind of psycho-analysis parameter by which a person's tolerance for possessiveness can be measured. Like the Glucose tolerance Test etc. If we only knew where to draw the line, married life could be real bliss!
Sri