Bad Experience With Desi's!!!

thanks for sharing your experience.
I am also new to US from dublin. I feel lonely and try to make friends.but I find something missing out.
looking other ways to handle the situation.

 

It is not something exclusive to desis. In general people have become more self-absorbed these days. And it is harder to make lasting friends as you grow older, especially in nomadic situations. When I look back, my closest friends are those from my childhood, school and college. Neighbors and even colleagues are often just acquaintances.
Keep your expectations low. If someone doesn't reciprocate don't chase them, but know them for what they are and expand your circle.

 

After living for a couple of years in US, I have come to accept this as normal.. However, there are several factors leading to this bad behaviour. Like you just mentioned, "Karma is a Bitch". All the lovey dovey desi folks who land here with eye full of dreams, face harsh realities of life.. Majority of them are dealing with several life altering events.. Result, they all become bitter, self absorbed and guarded.. Who is to blame?!!

I guess no one.. Everyone has been a victim at some point and probably passing it on to others knowingly or unknowingly..

 

I agree with you OP. There are people like that, who don't understand basic courtesy. I have had experiences of getting calls with agenda, and never casual. If i were in your shoes, I would be equally surprised that they didn't think worth their time to say good-bye. Believe me, nobody is that busy. It just shows their sense of decency, or lack thereof.
But I am sure you will find a lot more decent and good ones from all races. They are out there!

 

OP,we totally agree to our pain.Been there,faced that.Agreed,what your neighbors did was not even one percent right and it was very rude.

Now,don't know how long you have been in USA but some of us have been here for many years and we just share some our experiences as an heads up so That next time you know this is how most of the time many people are.

Your neighbors may have been bad to you but they might be angels for their other friends.We are no way justifying their actions BUT Just like you I used to fume and fume when I first got to USA and learned that "expectations leads to disappointments even when we are right" very very unfortunate but true.


We just shared some facts about our experiences so that next time it will not hurt you so much.

Only two ways to get over it.Either confront them and ask them straight forward.I did that and things took a turn to worse.I was hated coz I called them out but I was happy I told them.

Else accept this as a lesson and next time be careful when choosing friends or lower expectations.Again this is very tough and easy to say but we have to try.I am still trying and one day hope to succeed.

There will come a time when you yourself in the next 10 years might become aloof from your neighbors knowing their true colors and you might be the one advicing in this forum.No two people are the same,very tough to get like minded people after certain age as thoughts mature,things change,our responsibilities,kids,outlook makes us change who we are.

Life is a circle.I have noticed after certain age maybe in old age,the love and reciprocation which you expect will come back as people have less ego and no expectations and are there for each other.

 

I agree with you.I had dreams hearing from friends. that people mingle easily here since we are apart from home land.But the reality is not so.Not everyone is facing the problem.we have to accept the situation.But it is not so easy to do.How can we overcome this

 

By educating ourselves.. Like Anika987 mentioned.. Learning that, whether good or bad, people are what they are and will be what they want to be.. The only thing in this world, that we can change is ourselves.. Rest, not in our control..

Forget and move on. World is full of good people. Keep looking with a positive outlook. Definitely, there will be someone looking for the same in us.

कस्यात्यन्तं सुखमुपनतं दु:खमेकान्ततो वा
नीचैर्गच्छत्युपरि च दशा चक्रनेमिक्रमेण
Kasyaatyantam sukhamupanatam dukhamekaantato vaa
Neechairgachchhatyupari cha dashaa chakranemikramena