Baby or PG degree? Which one goes first? Help me!

Rad · Feb 3, 2007

hi all,

I would like to get suggestions from u friends. I am 26 year old engineering graduate working in a private engg college in chennai..I got married last year and have a caring loving husband...I am an undergraduate and it is mandatory that I take up my PG for this profession...As usual, I am asked by relatives and friends abt having a child..If I take up the PG degree, I should defer having a child for nearly 1 . 1/2 years...Though my in-laws have not asked me personally , I think they expect a child. My husband goes for my wish....But he prefers taking up the degree first and having a child can wait....But my decision is final in this regard....Can u please suggest what should I do??? Either take up the degree or have a child ??? Which one I should postpone??? I am very much confused.

Please send me ur suggestions.....

Vidya24 · Feb 3, 2007

Re: Can u help me?

Dear Rad,

My request wld be have the baby immediately.Look ,26yrs is still very young. Suppose u defer baby for the course, it is not a bad idea.But for one year,u cannot even think of conceiving.

Now,think ahead.After the course, an intelligent smart girl like u will def get a good placement right in campus interviews.Then u might be tempted to feel, let me work a year and then try for baby.

So,if u will take me as a senior friend,well wisher-pls have the baby first.Do online courses or other courses during pregnancy.After the baby is born, share care with your mother or MIl.And do the PG course, go for job,the world is yours.

You will be a winner in all walks-family,education,profession. All will be happy and will keep silent.

If my words are wrong,pls excuse me.

We had a similar discussion earlier.Check this link in IL
http://www.indusladies.com/forums/p.../3791-time-period-to-have-kids.html#post28999

Best of luck
Vidya

jothi · Feb 3, 2007

Re: Can u help me?

Dear Rad,

I second Vidya's advice.

You are only 26. You still have your whole life ahead of you to do ur post graduation and go up the ladder in ur career. There is no age limit for education. We cannot say the same thing for having a baby. The more u wait to have a baby the more the complications.This is the right time to have ur first baby. Please dont delay this anymore.

Regards,
Jothi.

radhavenkatesh · Feb 3, 2007

hi rad
u can do both means u can have ur child as well as ur pg course at a time jst think ur pg is for 2 yrs u wud carry ur baby for 9 months and thn take the initial caring of ur child the next yr by the time ur child is one yr u can send her to baby care or wht ur inlws and start working
hmm jst think wot comes first family or career ?
if family was not imp u wud have not married first isnt it u wud have finished ur pg thn got married ? and being practical its always gud to finish ur family expansion whn ur young bcz ur young and energetic and ur inlws parents wud expect a child soon also
its not difficult to do ur pg and going through ur mother hood also u wud rather enjoy bcz u wudnt be bored during ur pregancy period as u wil be occupied orlse its a real pain which cannot be explained u wud have mood swings morng sickness ..................... ever ending list if ur alone only wht the process of carrying
tc

Varloo · Feb 3, 2007

Re: Can u help me?

Hai Rad,
family first and baby is the priority. Start a family as soon as possible. You can start the course , if it is corres. If you are planning for a full time course, then start when the baby is 4 to 5 months old. It will be like going back to work after delivery.
Chennai is a place with lots of oppurtunities, you will surely get a very good offer and I guess age is not a criteria.
All the best.:2thumbsup:

Rad · Feb 6, 2007

thank u

thank u very much for ur reply..

i vl definitely take ur advice

Rad · Feb 6, 2007

can u help me?

hi all,

I would like to get suggestions from u friends. I am 26 year old engineering graduate working in a private engg college in chennai..I got married last year and have a caring loving husband...I am an undergraduate and it is mandatory that I take up my PG for this profession...As usual, I am asked by relatives and friends abt having a child..If I take up the PG degree, I should defer having a child for nearly 1 . 1/2 years...Though my in-laws have not asked me personally , I think they expect a child. My husband goes for my wish....But he prefers taking up the degree first and having a child can wait....But my decision is final in this regard....Can u please suggest what should I do??? Either take up the degree or have a child ??? Which one I should postpone??? I am very much confused.

Please send me ur suggestions.....

Manjureddy · Feb 6, 2007

Re: can u help me?

Dear Radhika

Get your degree and job first.It may take 2-3 years, but worth it in the long run. 30 yrs. maybe a bit too old for a first baby, but with advanced medical help, you can yet have a safe and healthy pregnancy. But please take ample care with contraception methods you choose lest they cause conception problems later.

All the best
Manjula

anu ramesh · Feb 10, 2007

Re: can u help me?

Dear Radhika,

Pursue your post graduation first if your mind is set on it. Having a child in the late 20's or early 30's is easier now with advanced medical facilities, but do consult a doctor and take her advice too. As for you inlaws, I am sure they will understand if you explain your views to them honestly.

sunitha · Feb 10, 2007

Re: can u help me?

Dear Rad

Have you posted two threads with the same question?

I thought I saw another thread where everyone who replied asked you to go for the baby first.

My two cents:

Go for the baby first.Most ladies today feel that they are not ready for a baby and feel that once they are settled,they can have a baby.But trust me...you will never ever be fully settled--after studies you will want a job,then you will want to settle in the job,then the focus will shift to promotion etc etc.Finally it will be too late to have a baby.Or worse,you might at that time realise that you cannot conceive...sorry to be so blunt,but that is what is happening to many ladies today.So,pls think thru' it and take a decision.