Arrange Marriage 1st Meeting Of Groom

Hi Dhanalakshmi,

Please don't stress yourself over this. I understand that this is an important alliance for you and your parents, but keep in mind that whichever way things work out, happens for a reason. Please be prepared for all situations.

Regarding what to dress up in, pick up your fav dress and you'll be very confident to talk. Always wear a smile on your face which is the biggest accessory. Take this meeting as a casual one and don't get tensed as it ll panic your parents too. Keep calm and ask your parents to do the same.

Regarding questions to be asked, first try to know each others job and interests in life. Look at what the groom plans for his future...see if it is compatible for your life ambitions. This is most important. If you wish to travel around the world and if groom just wishes to fulfill his EMI obligations without spending, this will be a big compromise for you. I know you cant get much out of the first meeting but please try and communicate.

See how much he allows you to give your views and how much freedom he gives to talk. Atleast that can help you to form a basis.

Please don't accept unrealistic demands if they make any.

For Eg: I got an alliance where I was asked to leave my job because the elder DIL doesn't go to work. I knew from the first meeting that this wouldn't work out for me. In another place, a groom just kept discussing how much salary I get and who manages my finances whether its my dad or me. I was happy it dint work out

All the best to you and may the best things happen to you

Please keep us updated!

 

Six feet but short??tats not short
Just dress in a nic Salwar kameez,less makeup,no flowers,small bindi,bracelet,do manicure and pedicure,leave hair loose with center clip.wear mild perfume.

Relax and have no inhibitions.
Just smile.dont think too much and answer what u feel.be yourself and tad what worked for all of us.

If u guys r meant to be,even if u jump and giggle and act like a clown,who knows the guy might find that cute and u will end up being together
Good luck dear

 

Also I want to add this..

I only saw two families and ended up being dil for second one

First I dressed up simple and nice,plaited kept flowers and the moment They saw me their face cringed.
They kept talking in English and wanted me to reply back he same to see if I can converse well in English.secondly,they were praising america all the time and their son and least bothered to know about me.the guy was the only son and he studied in one of the Ivy League and they acted too smart.if I had married their son I would have ended up a housemaid for life

Second family was very nice and relaxed and I felt perfect to be a part of their family.i may have misunderstandings with my inlaws but they r basically lovely inlaws.even though I am the one who works at home,my home is my kingdom and husband treats me with respect as a person.though I lament ,I cannot ask for a better guy or life

 

Hi,

Nice to see your reply and good to know all went well...
Hope the guy asked your preferences and what u wud like to plan...esp if you are planning to stay in joint family.
Also good to see all family members making you comfortable...

 

@DhanalakshmiTG
Hope everything works well for you., If this is the guy meant for you, he will come back with a positive result. If not, then probably he is not the one. Look for a better one.
Please make up your mind for this.

I can see that you are desperate for a marriage. It is true that we have a social pressure to be married at certain age. When the complexity in the horoscope etc..etc. delays the process, we start to loosen our demands in the marriage market due to the fear of loosing "otherwise" nice grooms.

Your agreement to joint family seems kind of an adjustment you are trying to make, to fix this alliance. For you, this alliance is something God's gift, as you have had a few failed attempts in the past.
But are you sure that you can live in a joint family system forever?
Decisions like this shouldn't be made out of any other reasons like this.

I am not telling that joint families are bad, but joint families have their own sets of unique problems. Better you give some thoughts and analysis before accepting this.

There are some people, who really like to live with people around them. For them, joint family is a dream. They are fully aware of the problems a joint family has. But they oversee them for the fun part of it.
If you are this type, you can definitely enjoy a joint family.
If not, don't jump to the fire from a frying pan.

Staying single, as a woman, after a certain age is definitely a considerable problem in India. But don't compromise your life for this matter. Your life is more important.

What is the point of matching horoscopes when there is no proper way of matching it. I am confused, when you say that some horoscopes are matching as per your way, but not matching as per their way?
But you know, some people get married without any horoscope. Some people are even very happy without horoscope matching.
Sadly, some people are heading to divorce, and leading widowhood followed by excellently matched horoscopes.
In some cases, the pundits who do this job confuses so much, and mislead the believers. I believe God is superior to all this. Have faith in God - whichever religion you follow.
Don't let these horoscope matter becomes a horror part of your life.

I am not against this horoscope matter. But, of late, I am seeing many women are ready to compromise on their rights and demands when it comes to marriage market just because of some stars or planets wrong positions in their horoscopes. It ends up a horror story in their marriage.