Arn't friends supposed to make us feel good?How do I go about this situation?

Dear op,

1.Turn a deaf ear to the not so diplomatic idiots ,we as a community were blessed with too much nose pokers

2.Its traditional to do a ghrahapravesim in indian culture.,so its not wrong on thier part to ask for a treat.But politely tell them that traditionally in your family its done in a simple manner with close family members(nobody can question traditions),you will give a party after all the work is completed inside the house.

3.You can do a traditional paal kaichal with your usual prayer and move in. You could just smile thier plea by telling them latter. Dont feel the pressure as people expect,be confidant with what you had decided.

May god bless your family and your new home

 

OP, except the first these are normal conversational questions, which are directed at you without malice. All you have to say is, "we need to get a lot of work done in the house. Once it is all done, of course, we will invite you all." That's all. Keep repeating that.

Regarding the first, again, friends are curious and excited to know what you've bought. If she comments, just state neutrally, "we are hoping to get everything done to our satisfaction." And change the subject.

Loosen up! Once you have done all the work, surely you will have the last laugh.

 

In our Indian culture we do grihapravesh ceremony. So people are asking about that.
When you buy new houses ppl want to take a look. Just say them politely after you
are done with renovation you will invite them . Nosy people will ask for sometime then
they will shut up . No need to bother about them .

 

Point 1 - close your ears..let them find out your address and comment whatever they want

Point 2 - Tell them you just did a simple pooja with your family and if they ask you party, tell them you are planning after all renovation and interior is done , which may take an year (we did this when we bought apartment in India, spent all our saving. Just called pundit jee and did some simple pooja (me, DH and SIL who was staying with us that time). We told friends, we will have party on my daughter's 1st birthday (we bought our home next month of our DD's birth so no party for that too). No one ever asked any question after that.

3. Tell them you will plan after renovation. Why to be upset?

Regarding renovation - I'll not suggest you to in hurry and compromise with quality ..do one by one or when you have sufficient money. Never mind what other says and how will you invite any one in this condition.

 

I am seeing some people have so much curiosity about friends buying new house, new car etc. Just ignore these kind of people. May be they are also looking to buy, or may be they want to convince their husbands to buy house or may be they have passion about house. Its not your concern why they are behaving like this.

I have similar experience. Many times people want to compete with each other, who got better deal, who bought house first, whose house is better, whose furniture/decor is better etc. Some ladies have obsessive compulsive nature.

Its all shallow thinking. Don't fall in this trap. You know what you have gone through and you are content with what you got, then why to care about jealous people. If there are any nice people you can call them individually or small group rather than doing big party. Don't call who hurt you, then they will get point that its not ok to hurt friends.

Enjoy your new home.

 

Simple questions, simple answers. Why complicate?

 

Exactly... Why are you complicating so much. These are your friends, so obviously they were interested to know where your house is, what about its conditions, when is the party and all that. Aren't we casually ask almost similar questions to our friends?

Since they are your friends, I don't think you should feel embarrassed, uncomfortable or egoistic to tell them the truth?

Why can't you confess the same with your friends as you did here?

Tell them that you only afford to buy this old house, and you need more money to renovate it. At this point, you are almost drained out so no party can be expected anytime soon. However, you would consider throwing a party within a year or so.. What is the big deal?

It seems you haven't treat them as your friends. You are getting upset, and seem to be having a fragile ego here. That's why you are upset with their casual questions.

 

These are normal questions in friends circle.If you treat them as your friends , just tell them politely that you have a lot of work to be done and you are not in a position to perform grahapravesham right now.

It is simple , do not complicate just because you are all worked up now.Thatz why elders say "veettai katti paar,kalyaanam senju paar"(Build a house & conduct a marriage to see how complicated it is).There will be lot of things to consider while you do these two.Money,people's comments, others suggestions , performing the right rituals etc..etc.....We need to draw a line and handle things in a dignified way.