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Are men scared of smarter women??

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Dinny, Feb 16, 2013.

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  1. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    I have read many posts on relationships.Many times this thought has crossed my mind that "are men scared of smarter women???" :p
    Is it because
    Such women can be dominating.
    Are smarter woman hard to impress??
    Or is it that men need to feel needed??

    Let me make it clear...I didn't say men don't like smart woman...I said they don't like "smarter" woman

    Hmmm just a thought...what's your opinion??
     
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  2. sweetshreya

    sweetshreya IL Hall of Fame

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    The third one.... :) Of course not every man is like that. Some rare species feel proud too, if their wife is smarter than them.......
     
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  3. SreeSri

    SreeSri Gold IL'ite

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    One of the main problem is that a woman group (forum/real group etc) member mentality generalize a thought that they get in their mind.
    the subject line is proving that.
    OP: You got that thought in your mind. Its clearly your personal opinion or thought till you are proved yourself that it can be generalized.

    Answer to your question is : Big Fat NO.( A very general answer).
    Again, mine is a very general answer. Dont pull your neighbor Mr.Greed and show me that he is jealous of his spouse's excellence. Its Mr. Greed's quality and Mr. Greed cant represent the entire Men.

    So, in general, like a father is proud of his daughter when she is receiving an award, giving an excellent performance, he would also be proud of his wife's excellence. If not, he is specific, not common.
    If you happen to come across with that "specific" man, its completely your personal experience..
    (I am personally not that Specific, I am just general)
     
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  4. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Ya some rare species :)
    i too feel the third one should be the most important reason
     
  5. maliniglow

    maliniglow Gold IL'ite

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    In my op, men are really scared of smarter women and they don't raise their voices much. Because they might know what is lacking and the consequences if they try to dominate them. Its not hard to impress them but they would be careful in everything they do, and they don't believe blindly. Smarter Women knew how to handle their partner as well as their family members.

    Some might be dominating because they don't want their men to leak family issues or discuss financial details to anyone. (This happen in most of the families because men doesn't keeps secrets within themselves.)
     
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  6. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    You got me wrong....who said men dont like smart women ......but smarter ones I am not sure
    And i am sure that I am not generalizing...this is a fact
     
  7. Decentguy

    Decentguy New IL'ite

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    What is the definition of a Smart or Smarter Woman?

    Does Smart mean a clever or educated woman and smarter means someone more educated than husband and who earns more than him?

    I feel Smart necessarily does not mean clever and educated Woman. Similarly an educated or clever woman necessarily does not a smart or smarter woman.

    Is a smart or smarter woman someone :-
    1. Who is a working wife and mom and who takes care of household responsibilities , kids and job? OR
    2. Who is a stay home wife or mom who takes care of household responsibilities, kids and also has good relationship with inlaws ? OR
    3. Who is more educated and earns more than husband and dominates husband and does not feel to be dominated by husband and by inlaws? OR
    4. Many more....

    Men are ok with smart and smarter woman. The problem I think is sometimes smart gives birth to ego. Many men and women confuse ego with self respect and hence problem arises between husband and working wife/mom.


    As SreeSri suggested there is general trend in any forum about perception about inlaws and husbands. If someone has problems with husband and inlaws, the people who post their advice and suggestions would say " All MILs aer like that" or "All husbands are like that". Now Forums like these for example don't necessarily reflect the entire indian MILs or husband's population. But people tend to generalise that if its happening on this forum, then it must be happening everywhere. We stereotype. Case of bad apples scenario.

    I would say my answer also is a bigger fatter NO.
     
  8. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    Decentguy

    So lets start with my definition of smart woman.Smart woman in my view must be clever,one who can take her own decisions in life,one who is not dependent on anyone else emotionally,who knows when to talk and how to talk and so much more.
    Did you notice that i have not taken education as a criteria at all...so by my definition a smart woman can be a housewife,working woman or someone who balances both her personal and professional life well.


    So that was about SMART woman....now the SMARTER ones....
    Those woman who are perceived by men to be SMARTER than them...
    BTW you have not given your definition of SMART woman...you just said a smart woman doesnt mean clever and educated...i would like to know your definition of a Smart woman.

    You said "men and women confuse ego with self respect"....How can an egoistic person be smart??An egostic person is definitely not smart in my view.
    There are many threads here where wives put up with husbands with a BIG EGO.....now those women who live with such guys without hurting her husband's ego are actually very smart women..i am sure a smart woman can handle such things in a relationship very well...( i didnt say women dont have ego but like i said egoistic people are just not smart)

    Now about generalising things....Decentguy you are completely wrong if you thought i was generalising...
    My question was not "Are ALL men scared of smarter women??"
    Instead i said "Are men scared of smarter women??"
    Men might marry smarter women...but this thing about their smartness can always hurt their ego.I have always felt men have a bigger ego...Its easier for men to walk out of relationship but at the same time women tries her level best to fix it(again not all men) ,meanwhile crushing her own self respect.Since the dawn of time women have been taught that a man's ego is fragile and you should go out of your way not to hurt it.Women are always taught to be submissive in our society...why?? To cater to a man's ego.Well i could actually start a new thread to discuss that but for now this is enough....i hope you got my point here.There are many cases of this on IL itself.

    So Sreesri and now you have got me completely wrong...and with "BIG FAT NOs" You cant deny the fact

    Or say even if i was generalising will i be sooo wrong??? I dont think so
    Do you think the cases that come up on IL are rarest of rare cases??? These ladies here are a part of our society...so IL in a small way represents our society.
    So i stand by my view " Men are scared of smarter women"
     
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  9. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice thread, I am surprised not many responses yet. Let's stir it a bit. :)

    "Men need to feel needed" is putting it kindly. My take is that men need to feel that they are smarter. Even the most secure and most modern thinking man, at the most elemental level, has a need to be smarter than the woman/women.
     
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  10. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

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    So true...i agree with you completely...Man perceives woman as weaker and so more needy...but the moment he comes across someone who is not weak and needy...he's threatened.
     
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