Anxiety With Having To Move

i have anxiety with having to move.

Right now I live in a decent place with decent govt job. It's not home sweet home but something familiar.

Circumstances such as health (and other things I cannot mention) have compelled me to look elsewhere.

First day I realized I must look I had flashbacks of my life, thinking, what if this situation happened different, or what if I made different decision that would have changed the course of my life.

Even now I am pensive because I am stepping into the unknown. I drank a second cup of coffee to ease my chest pain - which is why I cannot sleep.

I live in diverse place and I hope to find place that embraces diversity. You have no idea how many racists I encountered early in my career when I worked in another state! And I am concerned about unwanted attention by creepy males (mostly white) who think they can walk all over you because you are woman of color (HR is not your friend and they may retaliate). At least back then I had family support - now it is as if they are not there.


How to deal with this anxiety. I don't want it to cloud my judgement in finding a new place to live.

 

I am in USA in decent give job but I need to move due to many reason.

Once I factor in several things about the place, (i.e. Need for Warmth and humidity, natural disasters, safety), then I will look for another job, preferably government.

My fears are about being vulnerable in a new situation. I am doing research beforehand but there is only so much one can do.

I am poor at human interactions, hence I take to hobbies, which I am replacing with continuing education. And I try to meditate at least two hours a day within my three hours of physical therapy.

I am unable to pick up in non-verbal human queues, which has gotten me into bad situations in the past.

Now that I am familiar and comfortable in my situation, circumstances are compelling me to move, get out of my comfort zone and be exposed to new people who's intentions I may or may not judge.

Wow, desis comments made you so uncomfortable? That reminds me, when I wore Indian clothes to work during the summer, non-desis complimented, but two rude desis asked why I am wearing Indian clothes.

I didn't give proper reply to the first desi because I did not realize his intentions. When the second desi asked, I realized her unfavorable intentions and I replied to the effect, "well I have desireable female body shape!"

Your worst job became your best opportunity? Wow. I guess God (or the Universe, whatever you believe in) works in mysterious ways.

I just need to take a deep breath and plan step-by-step. I didn't want to tell anyone my fears because they will say I am being childish. Especially at my age!

Ok, will take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other.

 

Totally understandable question, will answer my best.

I live with family who gives advice and support but they are in their Golden years. It is my privilege to help them. I feel sense of pride when I can help. I am fortunate for their help, especially during COVID.

No friends in life, plus scary short arranged marriage (plz don't ask for more details). I learned to enrich myself with meditation and exercise.

And I love wearing pretty American and Desi dresses. I took up hobby of sewing. Now I wish to learn Data Science in spare time.

 

Angela, several circumstances (including my health) have compelled me to find a place to move. I'm not happy about it because I am used to familiar settings. Not perfect, but familiar.

I try to maintain healthy conversation with some relatives. They themselves are busy during COVID.

People see single female who is dazed by unfamiliar place - this is being most vulnerable. People can be creeps.

I will attempt to visit place several times before moving in.

 

Not judging you, but many words and your fear is coming from your bad marriage/experience it seems. You are scared because you suffered and then you have that complex that people think this that.
You will have to come out of it.
BTW, I am no better person and in many ways like you, live in my own shell of low confidence or fear of people or their comments.
When non-desi comments on our dress, we take it as compliment. Usually they start as compliment, we do not know intentions. Say thanks and move on.
When desi comments, it may not be rude but we might feel it as rude. We are in diverse culture and indians from all parts come and work in a company, so many times, we ask because in our mind we think, if there is some occasion - like diwali or bday or some day that I missed. It is not bad intention and it is also out of curiousity. It is our own complex that we think they have bad intentions because they are desi's. If it is quick short comment, just take the appreciation and move on. Do not hang on to their comments unless they go further than that.
Unless there are men and try to make fun.. In my case, I knew their intentions, as they were close friends too.
I also have bad past but in a different way and have lived through complexes, complexes enhanced by husbands later... Now at this moment, i think, I needed to be strong.

About new location/Job, what i would say you need to be around people you love and who support you since you are in delicate stage and also COVID. so new job or city can work both ways.
IT can be beginning of new life full of positivity too.
About new job, you never know what is coming unless you are in. I do not know what sector/field you are in. One of my friends got into a great company with great resume and referral with all the internal knowledge. Quit in 3 months, stepped on wrong foot of senior. So If you are settled in that job, stay for some time, unless absolute necessary ( like you said health).

Also try to find a friend to talk to , walk or gym together. Or may be bring a pet home.

You know I heard doctors/peds in US advise pets as it helps kids development. Taking care of someone and having a buddy. We all need that kind of therapy.[/QUOTE]


Oh dear, I'm sorry about your dream job turning into a nightmare. I hope you are in a better place now.

My fear stems from my bad marriage, plus bad experiences from my first job (which is a similar environment I will likely return to).

I am in IT. I'm trying to keep positive outlook that perhaps God is answering my prayers for Health and Happy Marriage to a nice boy.

I want my family to be around me and visit often - their love and warmth makes all the difference.

I wish I knew how to make friends .... that is my issue. At this job I am unable to make friends. Last time I tried, she turned out to be a backstabber (she does this to everyone).

I'd love to have a pet - unsure if I have time to take care of it - all that poop!