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Another Question Again In My Life

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by indubalram, Nov 14, 2021.

  1. chanchitra

    chanchitra Platinum IL'ite

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    Since you are working and managing home, you must be busy.
    You don't need to talk with your husband's relatives if you don't want to.
    Evenif yourhusband hands you the phone, just cut the call.
    Take control of your life.
    N
     
  2. beautifullife30

    beautifullife30 Platinum IL'ite

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    Ofcourse you do! You have yourself. Nobody can be a better friend to you than yourself.

    Believe in yourself. Start trusting yourself a bit more than now on. I am able to relate to your situation because i was in a similar situation like yours a few years ago. Without friends, doubting each and every action and reply of mine. I then started sharing my worries and troubles with my so called friends at work. And they started belittling me further than providing me comfort.

    I hit the rock bottom and at that time i realised it didn't matter. Nobody mattered more than myself.

    I stopped caring what others thought. If i had a problem, i solved it the best way i thought i could. It didnt matter if it was right or wrong. If i felt someone was making me feel low about myself, i just simply, plainly and rudely ignored them. I started shopping by myself. I never shopped alone by myself until then but when i stated doing it, i felt happy.
    I did what i liked best. I started baking, exercising, singing, dancing.

    Now, the situation is reversed. These so called friends are back to ask my opinion on things. The others (who used to love to put me down) know where they have to stay or limit themselves to.

    Even my husband started respecting me only after i started respecting myself.

    From what i gather from your posts, you are working in US. Settling and working in another country and finding your foot there is not an easy thing. You struggled hard and brought up your daughter and ensured that she stayed on the right path and now she is happy and leading a wonderful life.

    I see a strong, bold, and a hard working woman here. So i tell you again. Stop doubting yourself. No matter what anyone says, believe that you did the right thing and don't care what they say about you.
     
    Last edited: Nov 15, 2021
  3. sarvantaryamini

    sarvantaryamini Gold IL'ite

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    Ask her directly. Not in confrontational manner, but like you are inquiring, which is what you are doing. Better ask and get done with it, rather than assume and do guesswork.
     
  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

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    @indubalram,

    Your inherent nature is sweetness and it gives tranquility when you remain in that state. When you care about what others think of you, that sweetness and tranquility is affected. You have the ability to control what you receive, how you react internally and particularly as to how to respond to them.

    A simple example: By changing the label of the sugar container, the sugar is not going to lose its sweetness. Consider this gaslighting as changing of the label. The sweetness in you still remains in tact. Even Ants (others) who recognize your sweetness will still come to experience your sweetness and they are not going to walk away because of the label in the container.

    Don't allow others or their comments define you. You remain who you are and when someone intentionally and deliberately trying to intimidate you, your remaining calm is what would teach them a lesson that whatever they are trying to do is not working.
     
    indubalram and chanchitra like this.

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