Anonymity , boon or bane ?

Does anonymity assist you in advising with no inhibitions as you do not have to worry if your liberal/conservative views appease your near and dear ones ?
Very true.

Does anonymity at times help you to drive the point home to the initiator of the thread by citing few of your own real life incidents ?
True. I think my in laws would totally throw me out of the family if they knew that this is what i felt about them and that i am sharing it with my IL friends and taking their advice. No one likes their dirty laundry being washed in public.

Do you miss out the fun and thrill on sharing your personal achievements, whereabouts and other details coz you do not want to be unmasked ?
Not really. We have orkut and facebook for showing off our good side of life IL is to show the real side of life.

 

1. Does anonymity assist you in advising with no inhibitions as you do not have to worry if your liberal/conservative views appease your near and dear ones ?

No. My opinions (I do not believe that I am qualified to "advice" anyone), well, my opinions would have been EXACTLY the same, regardless of whether my real-life identity was known or not.

2. Does anonymity at times help you to drive the point home to the initiator of the thread by citing few of your own real life incidents ?

No. See above.

3. Do you miss out the fun and thrill on sharing your personal achievements, whereabouts and other details coz you do not want to be unmasked ?

Nope. In real life, I'm a very low key person who likes to keep a very low profile. Even the folks that know me in real life do not know 100% about me because I like to keep my cards close to my chest. But, yes, there are times when I go to great extent to conceal some personal details so that I can maintain my privacy.

4. To those who do not go to great extent to protect their identity , do you feel your uncloaked avatar brings you closer to fellow ILites and proclaiming who you are is part of celebration of your freedom and life.

I am actually not 100% anonymous. There are a couple of people here who know me in real life and have either visited with me or are in close telephonic contact with me. Trust me, there is nothing to "celebrate" about the real life me, but even if there was, and I had been the greatest thing to happen since sliced bread, there is still NO way on God's green Earth that I would have wanted the whole of cyberspace and its grandmother to know who I really am. I am comfortable with the cloak of anonymity to a great extent, even if not fully, thank you very much!

 

Dear Sabitha

Here are my thoughts...

When somebody joins IL or for that matter any such sites, as a caution we always use a false id. I took this option by choice because we know nothing is safe in this world of internet. Nobody even told me before that it was going to be safe here or things like that. But that would not have changed my idea anyway. Only after being associated with a place for a while, we get comfortable. Inhibitions to say certain things or not, will be there anyway. Once we have established a rapport with many or few, with whatever id it is, that could still inhibit a person to express something for the fear of "what others might think". If I feel that if my opinions could help somebody, I will express it, no matter what username I am using. We are bound to see the unmasked person appear in the masked person or vice versa, sooner rathar than later. It is difficult to stay totally apart from both the identities. Me too am not 100% anonymous. Some of my friends here on IL know me. I like my privacy though just to stay clear of my relatives, or atleast hope that I am staying clear of them!

 

I like to remain anonymous because I wouldn't want the people I know in real life to know what crap I've tolerated and how I let my inlaws walk all over me. It's a deep, dark, hurting place I've been and I prefer to live in a happier place in my public life. Also, I don't like the pitiful looks or 'i'm sorry for you' talks I get in real life everytime somebody hears about my inlaws.

I feel embarassed for my dh that he has to be the son of such animals. And in my heart, I secretly worry people will think HE is like his parents but I'm just not admitting it. I don't want anyone thinking bad about him, so in real life, I keep my thoughts to myself.

Also, some of the details of what my mil has said to me are humiliating for me to talk about... especially the parts where my mil went into detail about my dh and ex's intimate affairs. That is not something I would ever care to talk about face to face. But online as 'asuitablegirl', I feel able to use my expriences to relate with other ladies who have gone through similar humiliations, and also to get the weight off my shoulders. I use this forum anonymously to help other ladies, and to let them help me.

As it is, somebody who knows me in real life could probably guess 'asuitablegirl' is really 'me' due to the um, "unique" nature of my mil's behavior.

 

Interesting and nice questions, Sabitha. To me, anonymity is a boon.

Anonymity does assist me sometimes in advising with no inhibitions, but not for the reason you have explained. Being anonymous gives me a sense of security and I can easily quote my own experiences when I deem it helpful for someone. I would not be spilling the beans here if my credentials were evident.

I am not worried that my views would hurt my near and dear ones. Sometimes, I do wish my husband gets to read them (and also others' responses), so that it saves me a lot of effort I put in while trying to convince him.

Definitely.

Well, I do not share my personal achievements on the internet just like that. For one, I do not have the time for all that, and for the other, I do not like the idea of making such things about me public.
Given the option to reveal myself, I certainly would refrain from doing so! It is a decision made by choice!

Cheers,
Sandhya