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annoying habit of DH

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by april1981, Jul 6, 2009.

  1. Jul 6, 2009 #1
    april1981

    april1981 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi ti all,
    I know the problem i am going to write about is no different and as such is faced by many women.
    But sometimes I fail to understand how to deal with it.
    My DH is very moody though it has improved considerably, than it was 6 yrs ago. The problem is he is always in his self created problems, so as such he is always in problems. He does not know how to handle money and any suggestions from me are unwelcome.
    I am disturbed bcoz today was one of his bad mood days. :hide:
    In the morning :coffeewhile going to work he was in a good mood, but in the afternoon when he came home for lunch his mood :rantwas not that good. I asked him what the problem was twice but he told me everything would be allright :) in 2 to 3 days(after which he will get into some other problem). So i let it be. In the evening when he came home i asked him again. He said it will be ok.
    Now i want to know what the problem is , and i don't know how.
    Don't u think he should tell me his problem?
    I am his wife.What good is it going to do him keeping the problem's to himself?:bonk
    I don't know how to get him to talk to me.
    What do u guys do when faced with similar circumstances.

    :cheers
     
    april1981, Jul 6, 2009
    april1981, Jul 6, 2009
    #1
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  2. Jul 6, 2009 #2
    shakambari

    shakambari Platinum IL'ite

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    The most annoying habit of my dh is-

    Blindly defending the actions of his mom and dad and sis knowing

    fully well that what they are doing is outrageous and wrong.

    He prefers that I do not point out that what is being done is wrong.

    If I do so he first maintains silence and then go off at a tangent and

    make my day miserable just to cover up their faults...
     
    shakambari, Jul 6, 2009
    shakambari, Jul 6, 2009
    #2
  3. Jul 7, 2009 #3
    Drpreethis

    Drpreethis Gold IL'ite

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    April ,

    The best thing you could do is ask him why he wants to seclude himself away from you when he is really in one of the calmest moods.. I am sure there could be some days when he has no problem in hand and is free..

    What I feel is probably he knows quite well that he is unable to handle stress and to top it all.. you or others must be reminding him of that.. So best option for him is to not talk it out at all.. He must be running low on self esteem.. Now, i am sure living with him this long you would have done your best and wouldnt want him to feel bad.. but then, all of us are humans isnt.. we al could have bad days.. maybe one such day in your life you made it clear ( with / without his / your knowledge ) that he isnt capable enough to handle his problems.. Which is a difficult situation for anyone under sun.. So forget pondering or even replying back a justification or explaination.. just make him confident !

    Ask him once twice and leave it at that. If he wants to share.. he would. Make sure you tell him that no matter what the problem is he could share it with you and he could count on your for any support. Leave it at that.

    Dont feel bad that he has a long face or when he looks visibly upset. Leave him to himself doing your regular chores. Do not make an extra effort to make him smile nor ignore big time ! Just be normal.

    Eventually he will open up.. or he may never.. Whatever it is you will see some result. Rather than feeling bad about his nature.. develop one for yourself and remain a cool cat. Some people are this way.. they sulk.. but when kindled just get agitated or ask us to leave them alone. The best bet then, OBEY ! They will understand that your intentions were plain genuine and not to trouble them more.

    Hope everythng works well .

    Take care
     
    Drpreethis, Jul 7, 2009
    Drpreethis, Jul 7, 2009
    #3

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