Amma, Where Are You?

Amma ,where are you?
-----------------------------------
More than any time in history,for the past few years much is written,even poems, on mothers and rich tributes are paid to her.But Amma, you never expected any return from us and it was absolutely without any prateeksha.( expectation)

You had studied upto 3rd standard only. But you were a

genius. How can we forget the ease with which you were

able to solve the puzzles and the most complicated

algebra problems with a chalk or black stone ( maakkal) on

the cemented floor of the cow shed in our village home?

Amma, all your days were spent in kitchen and grinding idli

batter for a large joint family of ours in the manual grinding

stone. Amma, you are no less than the brilliant

Ramanujam !


Having lost your mother at the age of two,

you were brought up by your mother’s mother, married

your own uncle with the age difference of 15.Not a murmur.

You had always stood by the principle ‘problems that cannot

be cured should be endured’.Perhaps God wanted to test

whether you are able to stand by your principle. With Appa’s

single earning of Rs 120/ a month ,you were able to run the

family of more than a dozen. With a simple cotton madisar saree and

yellow thread with two thin bangles,you stood richer than

any mother in knowledge,skills,temperament and culture.

You also shared your skill sets with us and we are what we

are because of you Amma!

We have never seen you getting angry or using harsh words

against us, inspite of our being naughty.You were an

embodiment of patience!

True,you too had uncomparable joy on seeing your six

little darling daughters,their tender kicks with their little legs,

the joy of holding the soft little fingers,its great touch on

cheeks,the sleeping beauty of the babe-you never failed

to enjoy and describe those feelings to others in spite of

your heavy work in the kitchen and permeated joy

everywhere setting aside all your worries for the moment.

Every one of us had our full share of love and affection from

you.


Appa was the earning member. But you were the actual

home maker, financial adviser.Whatever the problem be,

Appa would say” Call Lakshmi”.

Having learnt the art of conducting safe delivery from your

Grandma cum mother-in-law ,I cannot forget the times

when you were ready to help girls in delivery pangs even

at midnight and never hesitated to resume your regular

kitchen work next day.While seeking matrimonial alliance

for each one us, you were the main guiding force behind

conducting all marriages with a simple style without

omitting essentials.


Amma, your Kunja ladu, still lingers in my taste buds.You

did all the seer bhakshanams yourself during all the weddings.

I have never seen you in gorgeous Kancheepuram sarees.

Amma, though born in 1903,you taught us all to be brave,

free from superstition.Your motto was’whenever we think

of doing a good thing,that time is the most auspicious ,

not withstanding it being rahu kalam or yama kantam.'

But this strong belief never deterred you from being a

staunch devotee and your faith in the Supreme,

never diminished.You believed in karma

yogam.

Your talents in Fine arts cannot be undermined.The songs

composed by you for the Kolaatta jothra annual festival,

your Meenakshi kalyana feast song elaborating more than

300 varieties of special items –still reverberate in my ears.

Not this alone.The elegy( oppari) composed by you and

sung by you in a characteristic style on my husbands’s

grandfather’s death had many a request for ‘Repeat’ ,

even on a mourning day.


Amma, how can I forget the soul crushing experience

you had when you realised that one of our sisters was

not a normal child.

She was totally different from what all you imagined and

you had a different experience altogether.

She could not talk or walk.

Not an intelligent child that made you smile.After all you

too were a woman.You had initial

anger,sorrow, denial and’why me?’ feeling.

But Amma you easily came out of the web and felt that

there is a reason behind God’s Will.After all it was your child.

Soon all your negative emotions were replaced by positive

and hopeful ones.I still remember your words

”There is no time to sit, think

and worry.Time to act has arrived.”What a grit and

determination, you had, Amma!

You gave her all the mental support inspite of scornful

remarks by neighbours.You made her do everything slowly

in her own space giving her lot of encouragement.Every day

was an experience to you. Every failure

was a challenge.If any method failed, you didn’t get dejected

but switched over to the next step.

You appreciated the simple upma she made, the aromatic

sambar and vathal kuzhambu she prepared setting aside

the single digit marks she scored in Maths.Academic

brilliance could never be achieved,but you made her

stand on her own legs.She got married and begot

four children and was able to run her family.

What better achievement can there be for a mother !

Were you here, you would be proud to know that she is the

strongest among us and she could withstand any challenges

with the same strength of mind which you have creditably

passed on to her.

Amma, when I look back,I am reminded of all your

experiences in a big joint family with very limited resources.

Comparatively we are better placed academically and

financially.With just two children, I frankly admit that we

are not as resourceful as you are,though we may attribute

hundreds of reasons as peer pressure, media challenges,

communication development and so on.

Amma, on this mother’s day,I offer my humble pranaams

to you for all the guidance you have given us.

My special thanks to you for making me understand

“A mother is not a person to lean on ,but a person to

make leaning unnecessary”-Dorothy C Fisher.
jayasala 42

 

2. It reminded me of my mother as well as Mother’s mothers and mothers of south India. They did everything happily including that special menu for anniversaries that needed enormous preparation before the day of ritual.

3. They equipped their daughters with robust practises, nurtured right from their childhood that enabled them to remain strong & confident even after several deliveries naturally, and even after menopause.

4. I salute those mothers and you.

Thanks and Regards.[/QUOTE]
Thank you Thyagarajan Sir. I feel very proud of my mother's abilities.She was a strong willed iron lady. However much I try I can't match with her patience, perseverance, love,affection and samayochitha buddhi. On many occasions when I am in crisis, I think what Amma would have done.

jayasala 42

 

Thank you Joylokhi
jayasala42

 

Thank you Viji
jayasala42

 

Dear Viswa,
Thank you. I can even write a book on my mother. For me every act of hers, every decision of hers, every conception was really amazing when we consider that she didn't have proper schooling at all.She was a great executive while she planned for all the weddings at home, what to buy and what to avoid ,how to manage the cooking team during marriage functions etc. As I wrote more I became much emotional, which is not worthy of my age
jayasala42