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Am I Wrong in sending my son to school early????

Discussion in 'Schoolgoers & Teens' started by hippo, Jan 31, 2007.

  1. hippo

    hippo New IL'ite

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    My son is going to be 3 in February 07. I had posted before that my son is speaking in monosyllables…now he is slowly saying small sentences…but a new problem is there…previously he was enjoying his playschool {started going to playschool when he was 2.5 yrs in age }…he has learned alphabets, numbers ,how to eat with spoon from playschool…but now when his school van comes, he starts to cry … I get the impression he is not happy in school…this is happening from past 10 days … I spoke to his teacher , they say since my son is introvert and shy {also he speaks in very small sentences compared to other kids who speak very fluently } , he is not able to mix with other kids and so he has no friends ,so he does not enjoy school…but I feel do toddlers as young as 2.5 – 3yrs have “steady friend” in school???…or did I put my son in school much early than he was prepared …Incidentally my husband was also a “cry baby ” …he also use to cry when he use to go to school till the age of 5-6 yrs…my question is did I do right by putting him in playschool before he was ready or waited till my son was 3-3.5yrs . :confused:
     
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  2. Ami

    Ami Silver IL'ite

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    Re: Am I Wrong????

    Hi Hippo,

    Try not to worry as had one experience with my daughter.

    When she was 2 1/2 yrs old, had put her in the half day school. Though the school hours is just 3 hrs, she would cry initially and did not bother as it is very obvious. As you said, after 6 or 7 months, she would again started to pout or cry or refused to go inside or continued crying even after went inside the classroom. I was so frustrated and also afraid what it would happen forever.

    Luckily, she was fine the next year which was 3 1/2 yrs. It makes a big difference between 2 1/2 and 3 1/2, believe me..Now, she is going to be 4 and she is bugging that she wants to stay in the school always. As mentioned, she also had problem in speaking English language and does not have any close friends too. At this age, they are busy with exploring new thing and with the teachers, where do they find time to chat??

    Additionally, I was bribing my kid with her favorite snack if she would go to school without crying. Sometimes, it worked and the other time, did not even!!! And, dont express yr feeling in front of him which is the main reason for their crying more.

    Best of luck and everyone is going thro this phase, ok..Bye..
     
  3. Varloo

    Varloo Gold IL'ite

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    Re: Am I Wrong????

    Hai hippo,
    do approach anything and everything with a positive attitude when dealing with small children.
    My son would always stick to me when he was your child's age. He cried a lot when he first went to school when he was 3. And every day he will say that he will not go to school, as I wake him up. Then I shall say he need not go to school and that I am going the wear his dress, put on his shoes, take his lunch box and am going to his school. Immediately he will get up saying, no no I will only wear my things and go to my school.
    Never start the habit of bribing the child for things he has to do (sorry Ami, this is my view and experience). Deal very softly and gently with him.
    Many mothers make the school a villian saying that the teacher will beat or scold for such behaviour, and also blackmail th child that if it does not behave properly, it would be left in school or something like that.
    Say that school is a nice plce to play and enjoy, rather than that it can learn or study. Then the child will feel happy to go to school.
     
  4. Ami

    Ami Silver IL'ite

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    Lighten up, varloo..

    Hi varloo,

    I dont take you wrong at all becoz, opinion differs..parents differ..and mainly, kids differ..

    Bye.
     
  5. sunitha

    sunitha Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Hippo

    In India,children start school at 2.5 yrs.Here they started officially only at 5.
    But in India,at 2.5,you go to Preschool,3.5-LKG,4.5 -UKG and at 5.5-1st std.
    Here,at 5-Kindergarten,at 6-1st grade.So, finally the difference between age in India and U.S is just 6 months.

    Here,people do think that 2.5 is very early .That is because of the system here.
    If you are at home and if you can take care of the kid like teaching basic alphabets,numbers,toilet training etc.,you need to send the child to preschool only around 4.That is more than enough for the kid to get used to school as well as to learn to speak in English.This is from my own experience.My son is over 4 now.He has been going to preschool for the last 6 months.He now speaks what we call 'Butler' English,but he is able to convey exactly what he wants in English.That I think is a great step for a kid who did not know English just 6 mnths ago.Since,I am now at home and since I could teach him some things at home itself,I senthim to school only around last June.So, your sending your child to school is based on your convenience to some extent.

    My son loves going to school because he gets bored at home sitting and looking at my face.:cry: He has got some 2-3 close friends at school, you really won't believe that and if you tell him that his friend is a bad boy,he will say 'Don't tell he is a bad boy,he is my friend!' :roll: Infact,if he does not hurry up and get ready in the morning,we tell him that he is not going to school today.That is enough to get him to do things fast!

    A few days back,for almost 2 weeks,he used to cry and create a scene when I used to drop him at school.I realised that whenever he used to go stand near a kid to play,that kid used to push him away.He used to feel depressed because of this and because he considered that kid to be a friend.Then I told him that since so many other kids are there,if one kid pushes him,he should just leave that kid alone and go play with another kid. Sometimes,it surprises me that kids his age can even understand some of these things that we tell them.But somehow he seemed to understand.One or two days I had to leave him crying and just run towards the door.But just after a minute,I would go back to check and he would be fine and playing with the other kids.It is all very psycological.If we,the parents,are around, they will keep crying.

    So,just relax,your kid will be fine.
     
  6. jothi

    jothi Senior IL'ite

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    HI Hippo,

    I totally understand what you are going thru. I work at a nursery school with 3 and 4yr olds. Our school opened in September, we have about 16 kids in the class. There is this one indian child who is still crying everyday. He speaks very little english. He is so attached to his parents it takes him a while to settle down and stop crying, but once he stops crying he enjoys himself. We have aonther child who is korean who speaks very little english too. These two kids generally play by themselves. Children are all different. For some the seperation will be easy for others it might take some time.
    As far as i know toddlers some toddlers keep to themselves but there are some kids who are very outgoing by nature, tend to make friends. Talk to ur son and find out why he is crying. I am sure he will let u know in his own way, what is bothering him. You had said that this just started a few days ago. So I dont think that he dislikes school.

    Does he go to school fullday or half day and who are his peers?.Are they all the same age as he is, or do they vary in age?...Is this a preschool or daycare.

    To answer ur question of putting him in school now, I think it depends on every individual parent. Some parents have to go to work so they put kids in daycare. Some people keep their kids at home till they are 3 or 4 and then put them in preschool.. But I personally feel 3 is a good age for kids to go to preschool just for a couple of hours a day so they can socialise with kids their own age. I'd suggest to just give him some more time and try to find out why he is crying and also get to know the other parents and fix up playdates with some of the kids your son plays with. Sometimes when they play with their friends outside of school they might get to know each other a little better.

    I hope this helps. let me know if you need any mpre info.

    love,
    jothi.
     
  7. guntupallisri

    guntupallisri New IL'ite

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    I am about to join my daughter who is also 3 yrs old. after reading through this i am able to know what i may go through in future. thats great. i really think that kids should start going to preschool atleast for few hrs as this will help them in their social behavior. i have seen my daughter she is outgoing but yet cannot successfully mingle with kids as she speaks enlish & telugu mixed. i hope she will conquer this when she goes to school. thank u guys now i am prepared what to do if she cries.

    bye
    sirisha
     

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