1. Want to be a Positive Parent? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

am i really ready for kids????

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous in Parenting' started by manisha13, May 2, 2007.

  1. manisha13

    manisha13 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    49
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    8
    Gender:
    Female
    hi
    i have been marrried since last 3 yrs,initially we had pressures from my in-laws,but we were not settled at that time,and also we did not want to have kids at that time as we were just married and wanted to enjoy life,and ofcourse needed to be matured and financially sound enough to take responsibility to incarnate a new life.
    we r now seriously thinking to start a family,its not like that i dont like kids,infact i love to be around them,but i dont know why i m scared,i think i get horrified by pregnancy complications,labour pains.........i really do want to conceive but little sceptical about it???
     
    Last edited: May 8, 2007
    Loading...

  2. sunkan

    sunkan Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    4,124
    Likes Received:
    233
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    dear manisha,
    pregnancy is something u need to look in with not the pain but the other factors, like once u r ready mentally, I MEAN THIS, for the simple reason, ur body will reject pregnancy or will come up with various complications, so u need to be mentally prepared first, then coming to the pain part of it, these days c section available, where u dont know anything abt the pain and u can lead a wonderful life after that, but the other factors of a mother, is a beautiful experience on its own, by the sixth week sometime u experience this unco-ordinated bubble inside u, going up and down, then comes a time where even the direction of ur sleep has to be changed because the baby is uncomfortable inside, once the moments start u involuntariy feel one more life inside u, then as u progress from the khatta in the third month sometime u like certain foods, and another thing mentally make up that ur going to be fine, enjoy music the great soother,and do all things favourite, like swimming also which is good for u, once pregnancy starts, u have to make more positive approach, for the future of the child's mental development, the more depressed u r ,the child may come out with a depressed attitude,and some skin disease and so on, so keep the top cool i mean the head and plan bringing a life into this world. it is the best god has given woman the experience, and man can share if he can make effort to understand the growth of mental and physical developments..hope been of help regards sunkan
     
    1 person likes this.
  3. golden

    golden New IL'ite

    Messages:
    12
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi Manisha !! Well , i was just as scared as u r now abt pregnancy,pains and all !! I have a 5 month old baby gal now and my whole world revolves around her, First os all,as Sunkan said,u have to be mentally prepared for it,or else it will have adverse effect on the baby !! After reading ur mail i feel that u r scared of pains and the complications,so tht's y u r feeling that u may not be ready for having the baby !! Believe u me,I am even scared of getting 1 injection and i handled those 9 months and the delivery all on my own with my hubby. I wud not say that it's peanuts to have babies,but once u get preg and start to feel ur baby within urself,u'll fall in luv with her. C-Section delivery is one option but if u wanna have a normal delivery then too they can be pain free with Epidurals,many of my friends have had safe , painfree normal delivery with Epidural. U can find more abt them with ur gyne once u conceive. And lastly i wud like to add that whn the moment comes i dunno from whr u get so much of strength and whn u see ur baby u forget all the pains :)) I just tried to punch in my experience to help u in someways,if u r ready then just go ahead,gud luck !!

    golden:wave
     
  4. sowminivibu

    sowminivibu Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,098
    Likes Received:
    26
    Trophy Points:
    85
    Gender:
    Female
    hi manisha

    i think whatever fear is htere in u,most of us had it when we were thinking of having babies....so this fear is sumthing very very natural......all u need to do is to start believing in urself....u keep telling to u tht u can take the pain for ur baby....its gonna be the symbol of ur love life.....and imagine the smiling face of ur baby...so start thinking nice things abt ur baby and am sure this wud help u thru the process....just tune ur mind to accept anything...during my labor..i kept on telling myself tht I CAN DO IT....mine was supposed to be a c-section but happened to be a normal delivery.....so start builiding the confidence and am sure u will succeed in it...dun think anything negative abt preganancy n delivery....just bear in mind at the end u will see UR BUNDLE OF JOY in ur hands..tht will itself motivate u to have ur baby !!!

    Good Luck..

    lov
    sowmini
     
  5. chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,962
    Likes Received:
    2,743
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Well, I am also in the same boat. I have been married for just 8 months and never thought about having a baby soon after marriage. My idea was that it was a faraway thing that may happen couple of years down the line. But there is lots of pressure from my hubby and in-laws and it drives me crazy sometimes. There are lots of unsolicited advice from my mil and sil and they do not even let me eat some food items I like coz its not good for newly married gals :bang . I have always been conscious about my health and eat healthy food only, and its not like I don't know what's good or bad for health. I feel screaming sometimes that, "Its none of their business and did they ever stop to think I may not be ready to have a baby so soon".
     
  6. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,036
    Likes Received:
    8,027
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    Manisha

    rewind:
    6yrs back or should i say 7yrs back i had the same kind of mixed feelings that you have now.Some of my friends were not even married when i was thinking of babies.(some still arent hahaha).
    And when i saw the 2 lines after trying the pregnancy kit i didnt know how to react.Infact it took my husband also some time to digest the news....because we both were thinking "how did it happen???".....lol.
    But its when we shared the news with everyone in the family did i realise that getting pregnant is the best phase of life.
    Then again i was tensed if it'll be a normal delivery/c-section....etc etc....
    The answer to that part of the story was in my genes.So i left it in the hands of my genes.:biggrin2:
    Then came the part when me and hubby had to live separately for almost an year.That was the toughest part.....handling the baby+ ILs + the separation.But i knew it was just a phase so i somehow managed through that 1year....peacefully.
    So in all the first 3yrs after baby was born i was busy...to say the least but now that i look back i dont regret it.Because i think you must have babies when you have the time and energy to look after them.And my son would have settled (somewhere) by the time i would have hit my 50s.So i think our farsightedness (ahem ahem...cough cough) would pay off when we turn old.Lol
    Dont worry manisha go ahead.....our parents must have not scratched their heads sooo much before having us....because to them their ignorance was a bliss.:biggrin2:
    the more you think about it the more you'll delay it.
     
    2 people like this.
  7. Mahajanpragati

    Mahajanpragati Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,036
    Likes Received:
    1,330
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    quite old post revived again..........why
     
    1 person likes this.
  8. Dinny

    Dinny IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    6,036
    Likes Received:
    8,027
    Trophy Points:
    438
    Gender:
    Female
    God!!
    i realise it now :bonk:
    Blame it on my mobile screen and chillibreeze.
    Thanks pragati!!
     
  9. chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    2,962
    Likes Received:
    2,743
    Trophy Points:
    315
    Gender:
    Female
    Ooh I am sorry, I didn't notice the dates of previous posts
     
    1 person likes this.
  10. aamanda

    aamanda Junior IL'ite

    Messages:
    25
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    13
    what ever be the dates, this is quite use ful discussion right
     

Share This Page