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am i correct or not????

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by archu1981, May 6, 2010.

  1. archu1981

    archu1981 Silver IL'ite

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    hai
    im married 8 yrs now...we have 2 kids 7 yr boy and 4 yrs girl....
    ours was arranged love marriage..i mean we were in affair for 2yrs before our marriage...we were happy tht time..the problem started when we started our engagement shopping it self....from tht day till today im facing some or the other problem....like my in laws or his 2eldersis.s and his elder bro or his bhabhi.....
    they all want to boss on me..they all want to show theire superiority in one or the other way i have undergone all those just for him..they used to call me names infront of him and use to make me to do all work...(no servents in my in laws place)..and they treated me like a servent ..he was also emotionally black mailed by evryone..all of them were uneducated ...except my dh and his bro and me....they wanted me to be like how they sre...on the other hand my parents gave us lot of independency and enjoyed(still enjoying)theire life..we had aservent from my childhood..so i never did any work there....but i use to do what ever my mil and cosis told me to do...but still they were not happy they know everythng about me because we are neighbours from the day 1 my mom got married and before my dad bought the house they were neighbours from childhood.means my mil and my dad were like bro&sis....so everyone knows evrythng...exceptthis second shade after my marriage....
    he saw all these and he was sooosad..and he use to say sorry to me everyday....
    during my 2 pregnencies also i was in my parents place most of the time...whn i was carrying for the first time..in my fifth mnth i went to my inlaws place...ther the very next day there was abig qurrel between my fil and bil and it ended up blamming me for what his wife dd wrong..and bil pushed me out of the house ..all this happend whn my dh was not at home....he was also sorry for what happend to me...but after tht everythng was normal and my cunning co sis dd somany tricks and insulted me every possible moment...and we had our daughter...and we moved to usa.....and from thn we ddnt went for vaction till last year..it was 3yrs we were away..and whn ever some frnds were travelling my dh use to send gifts to them and to my parents also...and my parents also use to senddresses for me and my daughter and some gifts also..but my inlaws side nobody sent anythn for us....and whn we were visiting...my mom only took intiation and cleandup the room in my inlaws place for us to stay ...my bil and cosis were just chitchating and having snacks...and they ddnt even provided anythng for us...after we landed there..they ddnt even provide a bedsheet or blanket everythng from my moms place only...she never allowed me to enter the kitchen for cooking ..my kids use to eat less spice but she made only one curry tht tooooospicy for we both also..never made any breakfast for us ..she just packed for her kids and thts it we had a cup of chaiwhich is more like hot water and wait for lunch till 3in afternoon...same with kids.and dinner at 10 in night...and we had to change the room upstairs next her 2bd roomwhich was not cleaned...so i dd everythng in the morning..and my hubby cleaning his dads room.(my fil was sick whn we visited,and my mil passed away before we came to usa)so the room where my fil was there was so yuckeeeee tht the place were animals live was far better..he was so sick he was like anewborn..cant even use the toilet...so me my husband took agood care of him..now the place is better...
    my cosis started sharing work ..from day 1 in india which was ok for me..but she use to cook i have to clean...cooking was something like this....chai and boiled milk in morning..and pack lunch for her kids...lunch at 3 rice and leftover curry..no rasam or dal nothing only one curryno curd also
    dinner rice and one curry fresh whichwe have see the bowl before serving..lil curd not enough..so i started buying milk more 2lit.s but still no milk and no curd..i dont know what happens to 3 lit.s of milk with 4 kids and 4 adults...where 2 adults will never drink chai or coffee or milkand only 2 kids drinking milk in morning...????
    contd.......
     
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  2. archu1981

    archu1981 Silver IL'ite

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    contd.....part 2
    and i ddnt go anywhere like friends place or moms place....i ddnt even go for shopping ....and whn i go also after coming she use to count how much i spent(which is non of her bussiness)and use to call me names like anythng....and pass comments infront of everyone....and we thought we were moving for good..so my dh said we will live seperatly in the same building it was my mils plan so she builded 2 of 2bd/2 bath rooms seperatly...where we ddnt live till today....and my parents knew about it so they asked some pandit about muhuraath..some how some one else also asked about this..which i clearly told her before only......so she satarted shouting on me early in the morning...saying tht they were happy for the time whn i was away from them and im only blamming them and passing comments and nonsence around relatives..(but i hardly go out and talk with relatives...as im not famielieare with most of relatives)..so she atarted making drama and shouting loudly....i was speechless because the person who raised topic with her is noway related to me and i never met them also......and the days passed she made the servent to leave the job(which was abig drama....and again the same servent is working after i came back to usa)and even here also tht sevent and my cosis played a drama where i was blammed of shouting on servent......it happend only after aweek i arrived india...thn my fils job was also my duty so i use to serve him with his food time to time and clean him and clean his house.....he use to do everythng in bed....i did it as i thought he was my child....and he was feeling better whn i started serving him time to time..whn i went down to help my fil my kids used to stay in her place where they use to sit in hall watching tv and having theire food or something she use to take away theire food and said tht they threwd it on floor and making home dirty...my both kids put down theire wt..
    iam having sinus problem before marriage only...as i was working more time in water...washing dishes,clening my fil s room ,washing clothes and stairs and all these made me to fall sick of sinus again..but still she ddnt even thought of helping me instead she put more work on me like she went visiting her parents in village for 1week and gng out to some other places.
    even after all this from her i still being nice to her.my dh came back to usa and asked us also tto come back ..so the day she heard im gng back she started searching for servents...but none she liked..i got my visa stamped and went to my moms place to spend some time there....but i got my tickets just 4 days after the stamping....so i rushed to my parents and dd all my shopping..the very next evening(i left in morning)the old servent came back...?????????
    i had my stuff there so i went after 2 days to bring my stuff....but she was escaping from me.like whn i went up she went to my fils room (he was sleeping)and i went down she went out in to street....thn i had to wait for sometime..and went back to my moms place....and packed my stuff..i had some of belongings in her room(till today)...and after i came back to usa...my dh and bil planned to take another home....so my dh payed 50%of its amount...and my bil ddnt pay anythng...but they got the house registered on joint property in names of my dh and bil...and they ddnt even informed me(my dh also knows but he said he forgot to tell me!!!!!)and they dd a house warming function only my bil and cosis were there..and thiere relatives were there...they ddnt eve called me....where as whn i was in india.....in my native custom we celebrate whn we do ear piercing to a daughter....which is acustom and whn i asked my dh for tht he asked his bhabhi she said a big NOas she cant arrange any function...but when it was house warming funtion she dd evrythng by herself only......and now i stopped talking to her and evryone in my inlaws side...and my dh is asking me to talk as evryone do mistakes we have to respect our elders????
    but i dont wat to talk to them .....can u people tell me whether im right or wrong????please...
    if i had to tlk i cant controll my anger and i may burst out evrythng ...and which may effect my fil....and i dont want to make him suffer..
     

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