Am I being ungrateful to my ILs?

Dear Smitha....
You are so much more lucky than most of us... your MIL is a traditional old housewife and after being that you can't expect her to know the "new ways" of bring up children. Earlier days kids would be given glucose biscuits and milk at drop of hat.... cream biscuits were their supplement diet and sugar was added to all their food... So having brought up their kids in this fashion she is doing whats successful and natural for her grand child....
You should be glad that she listens to you and doesn't go against your wishes....
there are so many in-laws (including mine) who would do the exact opposite of what their DIL has told them.
I think all is well, you are simply looking for needles in a hay stack... cool down.. Relax... and most important IGNORE all the little tiny incidents... Life going good for you girl don't mess it up
JMO
K