am i asking too much

Ofcourse,Arasi, I can understand your problem
Dont bother toomuch about this. Isn't he ur brother after gettign married?
Come out into reality and think rationally that he is ur brother and he also needs to settledown at some point. If possible try to look for a match whom u know very well and whom can understand ur relationship well. Also better to search out in same city where ur living such that if at all you want to see him just drop by their home.
Welcome the new bride and let her know that you like ur brother very much and convince her with ur relationship.
Dont think that the new women will be a villain to ur life or brother. Its just a fact of life, so think twice and control urself.

 

Dear Arasi999,

I am sure your brother also reciprocates the feeling of love and caring for eachother like you feel for him. Isn't he happy to see you married and settled down in life with your husband? same way he too need to settle down with his destined life partner .
Do not have this fear inside your heart that he will become someone else's after his marriage. True that after marriage he will have whole new set of responsibilities to take care of, he will be spending time with his wife, his future kids and will start managing his home but that cannot not change his sibling love toward you. Did you stop being his sister and your parent's daughter after your marriage, NO ! right ? If you feel like a mother for him then let him move on in life ... that is what parents wish for their kids.
Yes, things do change after marriage as all of us get busy with our own nitty gritty of running a household but please do not over imagine it. Remember these are phases of life, the best for us is to let things happen because putting control over these will only result in unhappiness in relationships.

Seeing him happy with his wife will in turn make you happy too. It is because of your possessiveness and deep love that his marriage is making you are feeling uneasy. Relax. your brother is lucky guy to have such a caring sister like you.
Please go on with the flow !

Regards.
Oaktree

 

Hi Aarsi,

Great to know that you care so much for your brother.

Now that he is of marriageable age...he needs to settle down too in life. Your fears are baseless and i would bluntly say that you are asking too much. We need to move on in life and also give space to others too to move on in their life in their own way.

As Priya and oaktree have mentioned, your brother's priority too will change once he is married and his first responsibility is his wife who like all of us will leave her family and friends and come and join your brother to whereever he is.

Put yourself in their shoes and think and you will realise what is right. So out of your love and possesiveness for your brother don't do anything that will put him/them in a dilemma.

Welcome the new bride and make her feel an important part of the family and she will also reciprocate.

Hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

All the best.

 

Arasi..
Respect your closeness to your kid brother, & yes it is natural that you have your anxiety about how 'different' thing may be, But, Given that you have recognized this feeling, It is important that you are objective about it & not let it intensify into possessiveness that may be detrimental to your relationship in the long run,
This is the same thread of bonding that makes some MILS do what they do to get into the IL Hall of shame rotfl