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All is well ! DH back !!

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by flowerlady, May 2, 2010.

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May 5, 2010 #11

Reflection New IL'ite

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flowerlady said: ↑

Many a times we get to hear about postmarital affairs where the unrepentent DH came back to his wife because-
1 The other woman left for greener pastures .
2 The affair was discovered.
3 Both the guillty parties got over each other.
4 Both were married , had kids .They were using each other for timepass and had no intentions of ?
Click to expand...

This happens because the man doesn't love his wife and the wife feels ok to remain in this kind of relationship.

Last edited by a moderator: May 6, 2010

Reflection, May 5, 2010

Reflection, May 5, 2010

#11
May 5, 2010 #12

flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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Thanks you Reflection for the perfect answer ! Both DH and DW do not love each other and thats why all is well !
No love ,no hurt !
Archana the DH may be involved in an EMA with a colleague or a friend. Money need not change hands at all, both may be out to get cheap thrills !

flowerlady, May 5, 2010

flowerlady, May 5, 2010

#12
May 5, 2010 #13

archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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Reflection's answer is so true, hard hitting. The DW finds it to be okay to let a man go, perhaps because they never really loved each other. The agony of so many marriages.

archana.kc, May 5, 2010

archana.kc, May 5, 2010

#13
May 5, 2010 #14
bhuvnidhi IL Hall of Fame

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Yes , It is a hard hitting truth.

Arch,Flowerlady,Nandhu & Reflection(sorry If I have missed somebody who contibited to the subject) , Don't you think a lot of family of our parents & granparents generation stayed in such loveless marriages?But still they were known as "families".This topic leaves me with utter confusion always.

If the hubby had EMA and the wife just stick to him for the sake of kids ,is that a true marriage?Is it worth living in such marriage?

Fine , A lady chooses to walk out of marriage,herself & her kids have to bear the brunt of the broken marriage.Then in that case is it worth to walk out of marriage?

I am just confused!:hide:
bhuvnidhi, May 5, 2010

bhuvnidhi, May 5, 2010

#14
May 5, 2010 #15

ilite Senior IL'ite

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It confuses me to. But depending upon her circumstances (financial independence, family support etc) if she chooses the second option at least she can find peace after a while. If she sticks to the first one she'll miserable unless the husband takes a U-turn, is truly sorry about his misdeed and does not repeat it again. Of course, the wife should have the ability to forgive him to make it work.

ilite, May 5, 2010

ilite, May 5, 2010

#15
May 5, 2010 #16

archana.kc Gold IL'ite

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Bhuvi,

The earlier generation had their own reasons, and ways of working out things. A talk with a senior citizen on family values revolves around patience, smart handling of in-laws, adherence to absolute individuality thro understanding the IL's family and a well rounded personality. I doubt, truly doubt if that way of life would be accepted/adhered to in today's times. The key take away however is that, the times have changed and so have values.

Arch

archana.kc, May 5, 2010

archana.kc, May 5, 2010

#16
May 5, 2010 #17

flowerlady IL Hall of Fame

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Walking out of a bad marriage is tough, but can be done .The DH can be left to fend for himself and his aged parents with the help of his floozies .
The EMA and the ardour will fizzle out the moment the other woman has to wash his dirty socks and handerchiefs , pay homage to ILs and watch her armour running after other women like his previous wife (if he marries her ) and pay alimony.
Another scenario is to stay in the loveless marriage, enjoy the comforts provided by the DH and also put him in the doghouse for his EMA . The kids can grow in the same environment , not face selecting parents in the court and see family skeletons tumbling out. Their life will anyhow not be the same. The DW will be miserable whether she stays put or runs to her family for support. Its not easy to fend for oneself, kids , look for a house etc.
Bhuvnidhi has rightly pointed out that even earlier marriages were bad but the couples stuck it out by hook or crook.
Marriages are rarely perfect , a lot of compromise is needed to make them work.
There have been cases where the errant DH was NOT taken back by the DW even after tearful apologies and promises of good behaviour.
Misery will be constant companion for the DW , its very difficult to forget a betrayal whether continuing the marriage or divorcing . Being stabbed in the back by the person whom one trusts with life scars one forever .

flowerlady, May 5, 2010

flowerlady, May 5, 2010

#17
May 6, 2010 #18

Nandshyam IL Hall of Fame

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archana.kc said: ↑

Nandhu,

Arch
Click to expand...

Arch,

didn;t forget ya.. been busy.. will be back with my thoughts on this later

Keep the discussion going

Nandshyam, May 6, 2010

Nandshyam, May 6, 2010

#18
May 6, 2010 #19

Induslady Administrator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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Flowerlady,

This discussion is moved from General discussions to here, for the topic is more relevant here. People who are interested in marital related discussions are mostly here participating. Those who do not want to participate, is not going to participate even if you keep this discussion outside the marital forums.

So kindly post in the relevant forums in future.

Archana.KC & Bhuvnidhi,

Thanks for pointing out that this discussion needs to be out of General discussions and in Marital forum.

Please report posts that are in irrelevant forums and actions would be taken accordingly ASAP.

Induslady, May 6, 2010

Induslady, May 6, 2010

#19
May 6, 2010 #20

ShilpaMa IL Hall of Fame

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Flower, its all in your genes and upbringing if you can forgive and move on with the same husband into so called MARRIAGE or take a discourse.

Some go by values, some by trend & some by current situation which can be financial or physical... dependent or independent. Either ways its tormenting.

Life's easy for very few.. however rest have to face a lot of challenges.

When things go wrong each on looker has their own opinion as to why it went wrong and since EMAs are associated to adrenal rush they prefer to put blame on lower adrenal rush of a woman when she'd been juggling into so many roles of her life.. trying her best to keep everyone happy.. whilst a man's adrenal is completely preserved since they are single processors... JOB->EAT->REST->DICK (on their mind & body). No need to worry about who's happy.
There are a few ladies of above types who are the contributors into the category Archana mentioned about. Now again they're blamed that they dint put enuff on their platter to forget about DICK :bonk....

And still fewer men with low adrenal to not to qualify the above. Their suffering wives either have to further reduce theirs else they shall be contributing to non economic benefit EMA.

I think a lady knows the truth all by herself and false allegations shouldn't effect her self esteem.

ShilpaMa, May 6, 2010

ShilpaMa, May 6, 2010

#20

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