All about phone calling ILs

Used to call often in a week (just after marriage) but it backfired many times. After a few months into marriage when he finds me sad or unhappy he used to get worried and ask whether i spoke to his mom...ha ha. Now, after 6 long yrs and lots of troubles with MIL we call each other once in 2 weeks or weekly(not fixed) whereas my husband never calls his own family. I prefer quality to quantity. It is better to call and talk nicely than calling daily and giving them updates. I have tried that and it has backfired. I like the current setup better. If you call them often, I used to reveal lots of things and then get unwanted comments and then feel bad.

 

Hi anugamit

Let me not include MIL here bcoz thats a duty of only DIL to call her.

No My MIL calls me more. My hubby daily calls my in-laws,sometimes my SIL,my BIL as we r out of India. I won't mind because I know he loves them and they also have special place in my hubby's heart. My husband knows what to share with them what not. And whenever my In-laws want to speak with me they asks my hubby to give phone to me as they knows I many times busy. I don't need to call them. I only call them when I hv anything important to discuss with them. They don't feel bad as they know I am busy in my life. I call my parents,sis and relatives and my hubby calls my in-laws and relatives. This way we r attached to them. Similarly when my hubby want to discuss something imp with my father/mother,sis he calls them. We never forget to wish everyone on Birthdays,festival days etc. This way they are also happy and we r also happy.

 

well i cant talk much with my mom in law due to language prob so i dont call her on my own , only when dh is there we talk so that he can interpret
with my sis in laws , one is really nice and calls up regularly to inquire about me and other is little busy with small kids but she also calls me and wishes on festivals and even on new year. i call my sis in law when i want to talk not out of obligation and she also calls when she has to talk and we dont talk just about weather and hi hello but share some good talks also.
but i dont think its only me who calls , i wont ever call any one just out of obligation !

 

Interesting thread and even more interesting answers ladies
I guess one phone call a week keeps my train on the track. Sometimes it takes two weeks to gather enough matter to talk..lol
We used to call very often when we were newly weds, almost every night - Husband and his parents, if not me.
With time there was a lot coming to light about both of us - the calls got more frequent or less frequent depending on everyone's mood. But now I make sure we call 3 to 4 times a month. When and how does not matter. If there is something to be conveyed, we HAVE to. That is my rule even if my husband is not interested.

Special occasions, festivals and family get-together - YES YES YES. It makes it easy for us to talk to everyone. People eagerly wait for us to call and reserve a time of the day to sit and wait for our calls. That way we also feel good and not like we are otherwise neglecting ILs and their relatives. In fact they feel proud when we do call.

Children, medical treatment/decisions, household matters and tiffs between my husband and me - NO NO NO

I keep the calls brief when my husband is around and ask him to speak to them at length when ever he can. Cos that happens only once a month these days. Once in a while I indulge in really long calls with MIL just in case I am in a good mood. Fortunately she also reciprocates. After 8 years, they've started calling us now when they feel like it. That is a really good thing for me. And it actually encourages me to call and talk to them more often.

It took time for us to understand and settle our differences or accept the remaining as it is. But its worth it.