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Akshatha's Poems: Sujathae's daughter

Discussion in 'Kids Korner' started by sujathae, Jun 10, 2007.

  1. sujathae

    sujathae Senior IL'ite

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    Dear Ilites, I am posting my daughter Akshatha's poems. Pls let me have your opinions and suggestions as to how she can improve. She is 10 years old.


    THE PENNY

    Once there was penny,
    Who was one year old.
    It rolled & rolled,
    Down the road.
    Henny saw the penny,
    And took it home.
    Henny bought an ice-cream,
    With the penny.
    The shopkeeper took the penny home,
    And kept it for a year,
    For it was shining, You know?
    The shopkeeper bought a cake,
    With the penny.
    The baker took the penny home,
    And kept it for two years,
    For it was shinning, You know?
    The baker bought two eggs,
    With the penny.
    But do you think the grocer took the penny home?
    No, not at all,
    For it was no more shinning!
    But what could the penny do?
    But sit & cry,
    Wee, wee, wee.


    MAN THE, DESTROYER


    Man is so bad,
    As his past dad.
    He is selfish,
    He kills animals for dishes.
    He is ungrateful,
    To plants that are wonderful.
    He pollutes the land,
    And then cries handicapped are his hand.
    Man is so bad,
    As his past dad.


    DON’T CUT DOWN TREES


    Don’t cut down trees,
    They give us fresh air to breathe.
    Don’t cut down trees,
    They give us food to eat.
    Don’t cut down trees,
    They are living beings.
    Just imagine,
    If we were cut down,
    By somebody,
    The way we suffer with pain.
    Oh! It’s so miserable.
    The trees too feel the same pain.
    So, don’t cut down trees.




    WATER IS VITAL


    Water is vital,
    Water is vital,
    We cannot live without it,
    So, don’t waste it.
    Water is vital.
    When there is a drought,
    The way the people suffer,
    Is so terrible.
    So, don’t waste water,
    Store while you have it.
    Water is vital.


    Why does man?


    Why does man?
    Why does man?
    Why does man kill another man?
    Does a deer kill another deer?
    Does a tiger kill another tiger?
    Or, does a bird kill another bird of its own breed?
    Then, why does man kill another man?
    Even the five-sensed animals know,
    The value of unity.
    Then, why does a six-sensed man not know?
    Why does man kill another man?
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2007
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  2. sujathae

    sujathae Senior IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Some more


    Dear Grandpa…..


    Dear Grandpa,
    The times I have been with you,
    Maybe very few,
    But you are in my heart forever!
    When you took me to the park,
    And gave me a gentle push when I sat on the swing,
    It was an experience that I could never forget!
    And when you took me for a ride,
    On your scooty pep+,
    It was also cool!
    Thank you! Oh, Grandpa, Thank you!
    It is a lot of fun with you!
    You asked me to write many poems, didn’t you?
    And so I wrote one for you.


    A Man’s desires


    A man’s desires are many which could hardly leave any.
    He could use a cycle which never pollutes land,
    But he doesn’t want to use one and get tanned.
    So he prefers car even to a place not so far.
    He needs AC,
    Where the summer isn’t driving him crazy.
    He curses the recycled paper if they tear,
    And wants only the finest quality of paper
    For his rough and if not so he wouldn’t bear.
    He could use water judiciously
    For just a bath, he fills up water in his tub enormously.
    A man’s desires make him use evil routes.
    My dear friends, work hard but don’t expect fruits.
    Man’s desires are many which could hardly leave any.

    Awaiting valuable opinions and suggestions

    Sujatha
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2007
  3. Chitvish

    Chitvish Moderator IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear Sujathae,
    The poems are very good, for a 10 year old. I suggest you to change the font, since the clarity is less now.
    She is already aware of the environmental balance & shows what a keen observer she is !
    You shoud be rightly proud of a budding poetess in your daughter. Please make her read a lot so that her vocabulary will increase. Also you have the responsbility to keep her head well balanced. Please do not mistake me for saying this.
    Pray Goddess Meenakshi bless her for a bright future !
    Love,
    Chithra.
     
  4. sujathae

    sujathae Senior IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear Chitra Madam, Thank you for your valuable suggestion. Yes you r right that I should take care that the praises doesn't go to her head. I will keep that in mind and act accordingly. Kind regards, sujatha
     
  5. Kamla

    Kamla IL Hall of Fame

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    Re: Written by my son, Abhishek

    Dear Sujathae,

    I logged in this morning after seeing your post in my email along with all those poems written by your daughter. I just threw an hurried glance at first being in hurry early in the morning, but I could not stop myself and had to read all of them.
    You say she is 10yrs old. Amazing! She has so much observation and her thoughts are so earnest at such a tender age. No doubt, she is a gifted child.
    You must be a proud mother. Please do nourish and cherish her thoughts and writing skills. She sure has makings of a poet:)

    L, Kamla
     
  6. meenu

    meenu Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear sujatha,
    I read your daughter's amazing poems in my email. For a ten yearold her poems are very expressive. I am sure she will write more and more with encouragement. May God bless her.
    Regards,
    meenu
     
  7. cheer

    cheer Silver IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Seems like today's kids are genius in every field. Great poems by ur daughter, do encouage her. Well done!
     
  8. slp807

    slp807 Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear Sujatha,

    the poems are simply superb :2thumbsup:
    written by a 10 yr ols is truley amazing!
    ask ur daughter to continue and wishing her all the best

    cheers
    sreelatha
     
    1 person likes this.
  9. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear sujatha,

    Your daughter's poems are excellent. For a 10 year old girl she seems to be having a mature head. I liked her poem 'why does a man kill another'. Reading the poem I am reminded of the famous saying by an American soldier during Vietnam war. Going through jungles, he said man is not afraid of wild animals, but man is afraid of man. My best wishes to your daughter to blossom into another Nightingale of India.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
  10. sujathae

    sujathae Senior IL'ite

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    Re: My daughter's poems

    Dear Kamla, Meenu, Cheer, Sreelatha, TDU,

    First of all, let me thank everyone of you for those kind words. Though she writes well she writes very rarely. My father is an encouraging source for her. He keeps asking her whether she wrote any new poem whenever we call him. I shall read all yr comments to her and hope this will bring more and more good poems from her. With all your blessings and God's grace the poet in her shall blossom.

    Thanks and regards,

    Sujatha
     

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