After Death Rituals

Balajee · Aug 18, 2015

jayasala42 said: ↑

When we are discussing about 'After death 'rituals, I am reminded of a distinct instance that happened in 1994.
This is just to show how even educated research scholars have some belief which is very strange.It is not about 'after death' ritual but about a death ritual that may happen after 50 or 60 years.
The real incident happened like this.
The head of the family was a post graduate research scholar ( Ph.D. from a reputed university in US) settled in Bombay.
He along with his wife and two sons aged 10 and 7 were proceeding to Shirdi by bus to have Baba dharshan.

The lady was keeping her right hand on the window rods and fell asleep.A speeding vehicle carrying some sharp instruments coming in the opposite direction dashed against her protruding shoulders and her right arm cut upto the shoulders fell down on the road, ,severed from her shoulder joint.The bus could stop after a few meters.The hand was taken out from the road, rolled in a towel and she was immediately taken
to a famous hospital in Bombay well in time.Though time was not a constraint, as several bones in the hand were broken during the fall from a speedying vehicle,there was no way to fix the arm. It had to be amputated.
The story does not relate to amputation.
The elders in the family including the research scholar husband had deep faith in rituals.
They believe that the entire body, as we are born, should be given back to God when one dies.Other wise great calamities would befall the family and children.
This lady in thirties also would die one day after 50 0r 60 years and when she would be cremated she won't have to be cremated- not full but dearth of right hand.
Just to save the family from the sin that may accrue after 60 years they acted precautiously. As advised by some old lady and some pundits they took the cut off hand to the cremation ghat in Bombay, cremated the same reciting so many mantras and performed all the rituals to the dying hand , even while the lady was yet suffering from deep pain and anguish in the hospital.When she dies after 60 years second cremation will be performed.
It is entirely a different issue that she recovered,fixing of artificial hand was impossible as there was no sufficient shoulder space to fix the arm.Within just one year she was able to do everything with her left hand.I know how she suffered even to change the napkin during her periods or comb her hair.Now it is total boy cut, a neatly cropped hairwith a dress suited to single handed.

I don't know how even the highly educated that too science scholars fall a victim to such beliefs and are simply overpowered by superstitions.
We cannot change anyone unless they themselves want to change.

Jayasala 42
Click to expand...

I think ojur education system is seriously flawed. It has failed to counter the effect of (lack of) wisdom passed from generation to generation. O the one hand we say the body is just something which we shed after some years and only the soul is real us and on the other such ridiculous beliefs prevail.

gitasharma · Aug 18, 2015

dear Jaya
thanks for the appreciation.
I will get back to you with all details after 30th. I am travelling from tom. and have a lot of things to finish .sorry for the delay .quick response yes legal formalities are their kin have to sign.etc
regards
gita

VaniVyas · Aug 18, 2015

@jayasala42 Madam,

I don't know enough words to write on this... Just another master piece from you madam.
I only wonder why the people don't raise awareness on this to a large extent , is to just to provide employment to the priests. Whenever we go through these systems, we really feel ashamed of what our ancestors have done. IT is because of these deeds that today we are paying the price of reservation and not getting admission to good colleges even after scoring more than 80%....
I think learning of Vedas to people who are really interested in knowing them and have a respect towards them must be encouraged. Parents should take pride of sending their children to learn them with the same pride that they send them to music and Bollywood dance classes.
I don't mean learning of Vedas and Sanskrit mantras without knowing their meaning, but with clear explanation so that they can find millions of answers to all their problems in life which are deep embedded in these books. They should also learn the significance of helping others (using this knowledge) by quoting verses from these books, just like how our grandparents used to do....

Thanks madam for this wonderful post.

jayasala42 · Aug 19, 2015

Dear vanivyas,

Thank you for your kind response.
The issue relates not only cheating by pundits but the superstitions deep rooted in our system blindly followed even by the elite individuals.As a class priests should be respected.Now that priesthood is treated as profession and it needs all the requirements of prior appoitments, striking a deal, opting for the package etc.Our silence has been taken as weakness and is being exploited.
What you say is correct.We can send the children to Veda patasalas. But most of the except a few in Kumbakonam and Trichy have no proper teachers.Students too are not coming forward.
But many of the mantras ,I think cannot be learnt with meanings.The word Mantra is a concept of mind and not that of intellect.If we start analysing the meaning of slokas and mantras we may not learn even a few mantras in our life time.
It is altogether a different phase of learning, involving concentration and deep faith.Mantras ,if we believe so, have the desired effect just by correctly pronouncing them and not analysing the meaning.
Many dyana/japa mantras have only syllables which we cannot understand, but have deep impact.

Jayasala 42

gitasharma · Aug 19, 2015

Brief points to note for body /organ donation.

Ø In India we have rules /regulations for different states that is governed by the state govt. However the rules are more or less same.
Ø
Ø In India the person can make a declaration of his/her desire to offer

v Whole body for medical research
v For organ donation the person has to be alive so normally brain dead individuals are considered .hence one can make a declaration when in normal health.
v Also one can declare their wish that their life need not be prolonged on life support systems.In which case while sinking action could be taken ,however this is a bit tricky and not fully accepted in India.

Ø For all of the above declaration the following are mandatory

v Acceptance from all family members & legal heirs so there are no litigations at a later date..

Ø All the declarations (both self /family members /legal heirs ) need to be attested by 2 witnesses.
Ø Self declaration also to state that person is not under any duress/ sane and fit both mentally and healthwise.

Normally in US all these are not required only individual’s declaration.
In India it has become necessary as family members raise hue & cry .Yes the medical fraternity needs this for purposes of research and not for any motive of self accruals.

Ø Once this document is ready it has to be registered with Govt Medical college or other medical college.
Ø Private ( Appollo, Netralaya Fortis Ramachandra ETC) is preferred because better facilitating factors like

v Body pick up
v Kept in ice for 72 hrs
v Body kept for viewing of family close relatives for 72 hrs.
v Eyes are taken first for transplant soon after death
v The family is given 5 -6 contact details to inform when the person dies
v On death only eyes can be used for transplant , all else is only for research.
v All is done free of cost
v A person from organisation will be deputed to talk to family regarding the importance of this activity etc.
Hope all this information is sufficient I shall try to send a written document later.
pl. feel free to ask any querries my personal mail .
regards.
I have written all this here so it may be useful for all who are interested to know about this and I am not soliciting.
regards
gita

gitasharma · Aug 19, 2015

As added info
we have a veda patashaala at hyderabad in a place called Neredmet It was started by Kanch periyavar .still runs very well .These children are subbsequently deployed suitably.
gita

jayasala42 · Aug 19, 2015

Dear Gita Sharma,
Thank you very much for taking your precious time to give the details sought for.For the time being these details are sufficient.I shall convey the information. Let them decide after taking into account all the conditions.
Sometimes the family members ( spouse and legal heirs) may have some hesitation about the wagging tongues of relatives.
You have stated about declaration of desire of not prolonging on life support.I think this comes under'Living Will' and there are many complex legal issues reg euthanasia and 'right to live' under sec 21 of Indian constitution.Every one is aware of the nurse's case-kept in vegetable state for 40 long years.

I feel that this issue is separate altogether and need not be combined with body donation.I shall make detailed enquiries about the rules prevailing in Tamilnadu Govt.
Thank you very much again.
I shall contact through personal mail, in case of necessity.

jayasala 42

jskls · Aug 20, 2015

Dear Jayasala madam
Really well written post on after death rituals. everything is commercialized now. I am hesitant to pour my views here as I don't have a clue on Vedas or Upanishads. I feel these rituals were created in view of dhaanam and dharmam but somehow has become a threatening weapon in the hands of priests in the name of rituals. In our traditon on 10th day they do 'Dharmodaka'. Blood and / or relatives with no parents can give away half the fruits of their good deeds they performed all along. I am not sure if that will help in the souls transit but atleast in the heart of relatives whoever is doing it will sow the seeds of giving. And all through the first year many rituals are designed in giving like donating bedding during 5th month and every month feeding few people (unknown ) in the name of the departed etc. but again this should solely be done with the heart of giving remembering the departed and it also helps with the grieving/healing too. As you say when we take care of elders when alive no need for these rituals at all. Many don't speak to them when alive but then do all rituals after someone leaves this world. Don't know whom that will benefit. Everything is commercialised not only after death rituals even if we have to do pooja at home meter starts when the priest leaves the temple and it will stop only when he is dropped back and I have seen instances when a priest tells you say the mantra 54 times and I will say 54 times to get 108 count. Such is the situation today. I am just speaking out of my experience.

jayasala42 · Aug 20, 2015

Dear jskls,
As you say, the priest community is flourishing taking advantage of the innocence,ignorance or fear or social sentiments.Sincerity is nowhere to be seen.
My MIl's sister passed away at 11.30 at night.I was at her bedside.We got the death cert also. But the family priest declared the death to have taken place the next day,as some other fatty appt coincided with the main day( 12 th day functions)Even after 38 years the annual shraddha is being performed on the wrong thithi, since the same priest continues to be the Guru of the house.They would do anything for the sake of money.They may fix an inauspicious muhurtham for the wedding, as we are helpless in this regard.Day by day the faith is diminishing.
Jayasala 42

VaniVyas · Aug 23, 2015

Dear Madam,
@jayasala42 ( tagging you)

Please do a write up ( whenever you are free) on the customs that we follow when a girl attains puberty. I happen to participate in a function last year ( the girl was only 9 yrs old) and learned that she did not like the whole idea but was forced by her parents.
She did not talk to any of the guests (usually in such functions the girl does not) and I was saddened to notice the sudden change in her. Coming home I explained to my MIL that somehow I felt this whole idea is wrong and that the girl is totally unhappy.
I think in olden days these functions were included ( esp among the extended families) to make the match making easier.
But now those days are gone and people should stop making this a function. This is so embrassing for small children.
Madam, please pour in your views on this...