1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

advice needed pls..

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by rya, Mar 11, 2008.

  1. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    438
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    hi everybody
    I need ur suggestions regarding a common problem..My husband is working on H1B visa in a firm..but he is facing some problems in company and he is doing underlevel job for low salary..he transfered his job one year back due to racism..now he is experiencing some other problem here..his field is architecture and economy in US is going down and housing market is bad..so,shining here is a doubt..now only iam studying masters here..still one year is there..in this condition,we cannot leave india also as it will affect my studies,which iam considering as a very good oppurtunity here..if i complete masters in electronics engg. i have a good future here,but iam still in H4 applied for F1(student visa) and waiting for that..we don't have a greencard also..so no job security..If i leave from here,inlaws are waiting to bounce on me..They won't even allow us to be happy because of their nagging nature and complaints on me..we will be frustrated due to their continuous talk and domination..Please suggest some of the better ways that we can decide that will be peaceful for everyone..iam not hurting my inlaws..they are very very possessive and occupy us totally and will not allow to go outside anywhere..they are not realizing also..we have planned to be here for few years and go back to india to take care of inlaws.iam married for nearly 3 years and faced problems due to inlaws a lot,but iam still happy by ignoring their words...but i think going back to india will come soon due to US's economy.Anybody sailing in the same boat?...So,please help me in giving some suggestions or advices..
    thanks
     
    Loading...

  2. Sujimallige

    Sujimallige Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    689
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Gender:
    Male
    Dear rya,

    Pls dont lose hope.Pray that everything will be fine and ur husband wont lose his job.
    U r still studying,how can u go back to india.Ur course will be left in middle and so much of money will be lost.

    My friend faced a similar situation few yrs back.I shall tell u in detail abt her and hope it helps u.
    She was on H4 and her husband on H1.She was studying some engg course.Then all of a sudden they came to know that husbands job was in danger.She applied for F1 visa (students visa).She got it and her husband became a dependent on her student visa.This was how they maintained their legal status in the US.
    They faced a lot of difficulties as they did not have enough money.
    My friend started staying in a womens house she knew.She would look after the womans baby.So she could stay for free and even they gave her food and treated her v well.
    Then she completed her course,she got H1 now her husband got H4.Then even he got H1 again.So after a small period (abt 8months of struggle) they r happy.Everything is fine.
    Even her reason for taking all these hardships and not returning to india was her in laws.She says they will not hesitate to kill her given a chance.poor girl.

    Pls stay positive and think abt all the other alternatives.
    Hope my post helps u and if it does not,hope the other ILs can help u out better.Gud luck..

    suji
     
  3. chocolate

    chocolate Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    2,327
    Likes Received:
    1,506
    Trophy Points:
    283
    Gender:
    Female
    Rya ,I will say let your husband hang on to his job for the time being. You can always try to change your status to student visa and your husband dependent. I and my husband are in similar situation. We both have EAD thru my husband's GC process in a consulting firm he works for. He has been b/n projects for quite some time . I wouldnt dream about going back to India as my in laws are bad and will do anything to
    make my husband abusive and wreck the marriage as much as they can.

    Dont be despaired . We are in a position were my husband works for 5-6 months a year or continuously for a year. But the fear of going back to India and facing my in laws stops me from thinking about it.I am also expecting my GC anytime soon and that in a way is a bonus to think about staying back.
     
  4. rya

    rya Silver IL'ite

    Messages:
    438
    Likes Received:
    71
    Trophy Points:
    70
    Gender:
    Female
    hi suji and chocolate
    thanks for ur replies..yes..it is a better decision to be here for atleast some years... duties are always there to perform for inlaws..so,i think this is not the time to go back..i shd pray god that my hubby shd not loose job..if i get my F1 visa,i think everything will be smooth for sometime..my inlaws are very young in 50s only,but still pestering their son about their future..as u have told,i shd not loose hope..that is the only strength i have to maintain..thank you very much ladies
    thanks
     

Share This Page