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Advice For Senior Citizens

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Kamalji, Aug 20, 2017.

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  1. Aug 20, 2017 #1
    Kamalji

    Kamalji IL Hall of Fame

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    Advice for Senior Citizens


    We all have read about the recent spats between Rattan Tata and Cyrus Mistry, and now between Narayan Murthy and Vishal Sikka, and the mess it has created.


    Lets Take Rattan Rata first. He had to retire by company law, at 75, and he chose the next Chairman, Mistry, who was young at 40, not a part of the Tata clan, and who trained under Rattan for a few years before being given charge.


    Now mistry has his own mind, being younger, and he started to do things the way he felt was right. Rattan got peeved that he was not asked before a new step was taken, where as Mistry was not obliged to do that ny any law.Soon sparks flew, and Mistry was thrown out. Mistry’s family is the biggest shareholder in Tata, and Mistry as soon as he tgook charge , instructed all Tata companies to stop giving construction work to his father’s company. The business came down from a 1000 crores to zero.


    Narayan Murthy too handpicked Sikka, and now has fallen out with him. And the Infosys board has sided with Sikka and scolded Murty for his baseless allegagtions.


    Why do the elders cant leave the company affairs to the younger lot, who may have ideas of their own? Murthy’s son was married to a equally wealthy family of TVS scooters, but he got divorced, and not a word of what went wrong between the couple. Murthy is very stingy where spending money is concerned, ane we read that he cleans his own bathroom and cleans his own dishes, and Sudha Murthy does not buy sarees anymore, they donate their money, which is good in a way.


    But look at the plight of the bahu, who is from an equally wealth family, who may be used to a lavish lifestyle of servants, travelll, designer clothes and all that, and who knows Rohan Murthy may have taken aftger his parents in not spending lavishly. Wives do want designer and expensive purses and clothes, and cruises and vacactions , and may not have liked being told by the Murthy’s to curb herself and be simple.Hence the divorce.


    Elderly people should take a back seat, and let the children run the homes, and if they have the money, should live seperatly like Khuswant Singh did, and then all will be happy. But not letting go of the power, brings in the conflicts.


    I am lucky, and g lad, that I have two daughters, both married, and me and wife are living alone, doing what we want to do. If I had a son, there would have been conflicts I am sure, but I am lucky that I did not have a choice to make to adjust, we are very comfortable wi9thout soms and daughter in laws.


    God has been kind, no doubt.


    KAMAL MAHTANI
     
    Kamalji, Aug 20, 2017
    Kamalji, Aug 20, 2017
    #1
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  2. Aug 20, 2017 #2
    joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear kamalji,
    nice to read a post from you after quite some time. You could not have put it better
    "Elderly people should take a back seat, and let the children run the homes, and if they have the money, should live seperatly like Khuswant Singh did, and then all will be happy. But not letting go of the power, brings in the conflicts."
    Yes, whether it is professional /company affairs or running the home, for all the wisdom that the elders may have, the younger lot are not in a frame of mind these days to have anyone advising them, irrespective of how good it may be. This letting go is not very easy to follow without any grudges, but if the older generation wants to have their dignity inplace, it is the best thing to do. It is good for the next generation too to manage by themselves and learn from their mistakes if any. The satisfaction that they would derive also would be great when they take responsibility for leading their own lives. The only bonding that is necessary is continued love and affection among the generations. But in practice we see it is easier said than done, and thats the reason for all the relationship issues in families!
     
    joylokhi, Aug 20, 2017
    joylokhi, Aug 20, 2017
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  3. Aug 20, 2017 #3
    PushpavalliSrinivasan

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    Dear Kamalji,
    We have one daughter and two sons, but we also prefer to live on our own. Nowadays senior citizens, those who are not dependent on their children prefer to live on their own.

    Recently I read in TOI that Melinda and Billgate do not like to outsource domestic chores and they involve their children.
    I think those who have come up in life after hard work want their children to follow their footsteps instead of splurging money in order to know the value of hard earned money.

    When the children grow up and lead their own life they can decide how they want to live.
    In US almost all the people (Indians) do not like to engage servants to do house chores as they got machines to do everything and another reason it is too costly.
    PS
     
    PushpavalliSrinivasan, Aug 20, 2017
    PushpavalliSrinivasan, Aug 20, 2017
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  4. Aug 20, 2017 #4
    sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Really feeling bad for this bahu. I wish things could have sorted out if it is lifestyle clash.BUT YES IT IS THE PAIRS CALL. It is tough time for INFOSYS NARAYAN MURTHY AND HIS FAMILY(I THINK )
     
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
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  5. Aug 20, 2017 #5
    sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Yes , in USA people do their own work. Life style is quite different here ,people are independent .
     
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
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  6. Aug 20, 2017 #6
    shyamala1234

    shyamala1234 Platinum IL'ite

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    Dear Kamalji,
    A blog after a long long time.
    Welcome back. We missed your humour, wit and outspoklng blogs.
    Yes, elders should take a backseat and let the children be given freedom to handle things.....but not like Singhania. See what happened to him!Pathetic !He is running round courts....no place to live and no money. Should not handover to children when alive . They should use descretion.
    Of course the case of Tata and Misty, Narayanamurthy and Sikka is different. Yes, they should have taken backseat.
    When two people come from different backgrounds, live together.....compatibility problems arise. Parents should allow them to take their decisions and not interfere.
    As much as possible
    Parents should live their own life. Both parties would be happy .
    By the way...
    Where are the jokes? Typical hall mark of Kamalji! We miss them.
    Hope we would see you often....along with jokes.
    Syamala
     
    shyamala1234, Aug 20, 2017
    shyamala1234, Aug 20, 2017
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  7. Aug 20, 2017 #7
    sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Sorry for him. True.
     
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
    sindmani, Aug 20, 2017
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  8. Aug 20, 2017 #8
    amunique

    amunique Gold IL'ite

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    one should know the difference between good parenting and strict parenting i believe...
     
    amunique, Aug 20, 2017
    amunique, Aug 20, 2017
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  9. Aug 20, 2017 #9
    ashima10

    ashima10 Platinum IL'ite

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    Just watched a movie this weekend....Rui ka Bojh " can relate. Link below if you want to watch it

     
    ashima10, Aug 20, 2017
    ashima10, Aug 20, 2017
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  10. Aug 20, 2017 #10
    kkrish

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    :clap2:Nice to read your snippet after a long time @Kamalji
    Your usual humor tinged tongue-in-cheek view of the world affairs.

    Missing your usual jokes though.
     
    kkrish, Aug 20, 2017
    kkrish, Aug 20, 2017
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    Kamalji likes this.
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