Advance Obituary

Advance Obituary

Day before the I read in the papers that Reuters by error published the orbituary of George Soros,. The billionaire, even though he is hale and hearty. The news was sent to all the newspapers, but then recalled back after half an hour when they realized their mistake.

I read the orbituary, and it was funny. The date and year of death is left as XXX, all written in advance, as though they expect him to conk off soon, and they had quote various people too , about what they felt about GS.

Here is the link , please read it.

Red-faced Reuters prematurely publishes George Soros obituary | Business | guardian.co.uk

How come in advance eh ! That means they must have written about our prime minister Manmohan Singh too, as also of Sonia Gandhi when she went abroad for her treatment last year. Now suppose a world figure were to die at night, where would they collect the data and draft it, so they make it up, for example for Sonia Gandhi, they might say, she was named Sonia maretti or whatever she was , she met Rajiv Gandhi abroad, then she was a bahu under indra Gandhi, taking care of the house, and then blah blah blah,

She went to usa in 2012 for a surgery, recovered came back, and then she expired all of a sudden , in XXXX hospital of YYY disease, on ZZZZ. And this is what the presidenet of india Pranab mukherjee has to say “ nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn” etc .

So all orbituaries are written, and just a few lucky chaps like GS can read them eh ! I am a small fry , so I don’t know if I will have anything written about me, maybe I will have to pay thru my nose to get me a good writeup when I am no more, but as a sindhi I look for free write-ups.

As they say, don’t ever sp[eak ill of the dead, (he will come back to spook them ?), but how can all people who die, are good people, for whereevedr I have gone people only praise them, when some I know were lousy people.

So if tht principle is followed, then all my friends and neighbours will speak all good things about me, iof tradition is to be followed.

Here is what some would say about me .

The ladies in the Garden - Kamaji, is that hs name ? Well , now that he is no more what to say. He used to walk anti clockwise, and meet us twice in the curcular path, and he used to stare at us. At first we used to feel odd, and angry, then we started to like it, and we used to dress well, put make up on, and from his smile, we could make out if were looking good or not.He encouraged us to dress up well. Now life will be so dull without him. Maybe the apsaras upstairs will be lucky now, for he will now eye them !
( in private – Good riddance to bad rubbish, for we had to spend so much to keep ourselves fit and pretty, it ate into our reserves, so now we can be as sloppy as we can )

Friends – Kamal was good, he would make us laugh all the time, and the pretty ladies thought we were laughing at them, while kamal kept a straight face. And most of his jokes were corny, but he was not malicious , just kept us in good mood, and he used to be rpoud about his 2 bucks times of india, and quote to us from there what he liked, making us feel as though we cannot afford a newspaper, that only he ha s eyes for these things, and not us. But seriopusly when we went home, we could not find the article he was referring to, and next day , when asked he would bring the clipping to show us, he sure had a great eye for news and babes that we must say.

(in private – May his soul rot out there, the rascal never let us share the attention of the pretty ladies, always wearing smart kurtas, and smiling, they all looked at him for approval and never us. Good riddance )

Bloggers in public – Kamalji was our great friend. He was fun etc, but he never gave us a loan for even one buck, but other wise he was very good. He came to banglore and to Chennai, and met the bloggers and even invited himself to our homes for lunches and dinners, but never did he call us home to jaipur.

All in all God will be happy to have him with him, he will keep god cheerful.

(In private – Good he is no more, everyone was replying to his blogs, did he ever have any topic other than his wife, daughters, dogs, and then he glamorized even his cancer, milking tears and replies out of poor us. Where as anyone of us, would have shriveled in cancer and its after effects, kamalji in fact wrote more blogs than before, now when he did not have a topic,. He would somehow bring cancer I n the blog , and milk th comments even from the men folk.

He was a great manipulator, god knows how the people liked him, he thought he was one khuswant singh, copying his style fo posting jokes down, and then writing about his personal life, not realizing khuswant has met the kings and queens , and he writes about them, and look at kamalji, he writes about street dogs, and his stupid lifestyle , and if he ever travels in a plane he will write about it, as though he has chartered a plane and that we have never seen one eh !

What would I like to say for myself if I were to write my orbituary

Kamalji went many a mile
To make everyone s,mile.

I am curious to know what people would say about me after I am no more, so lets see u folks what u think about me. HAHA

And say the truth, whatever it maybe, if I can withstand cancer, then what is this eh ! let see.

KAMAL MAHTANI

Every woman need s a husband because
Everyday every minute something goes wrong, which she cannot blame on God or Government !!



A wise man once said “ I want to drown my sorrows, but I cannot convince m y wife to go for a swim



Modern Art paintings are like Wife.
You can never understand them.
So all u can do is just appreciate them as masterpieces !!!!

===========


One day death came to a guy and said, “ Today is your last day, get ready buddy, to come with me within an hour.
Guy – But I don’t want to die
Death – But u have to, your name is on the top of this list.
So the guy offers Death a soft drink, laced with sedatives, death falls asleep, the guy removes his nam,e from the top, and puts it at the bottom of the list.
After a while death awakens fresh, and says – You are a great chap, u gave me a lovely drink to have, so I will not take u, I will now start from the bottom of the page !!!!!



Ideas , liberty , trust and freedom are 4 important pillars for a nation’s success
BUT
WE are a country where
IDEA is a simcard
TRUST is a condom
LIBERTY is a shoe, and
FREEDOM is a sanitary pad !!!!!



Come like a Racer
Sit like a Yogi,
Go like a King
This slogan was written on a TOILET DOOR !!!!!!



Lady to doctor – please treat his disease. He keeps shouting my name in the middle of the night
Dr – You are lucky to have such a faithful and loving husband.
Lady – you don’t understand . his wife is coming back tomorrow from her mother’s house !!!!!!



Before marriage – you take my breadth away !!!
After marriage – You are suffocating me !!!!!!

 

Dear Viji sis,

taht is the real tragedy, that i am going no where, and am here to bore u all with my blogs and antics, what to do eh ! HAHA

Thanks a ton.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Shyamala,

Thank u for the nomination and the kind words. the minute i saw kamla here , i had a feeling this blog had been nominated, and i had a feeling of u 6, u may have nominated , and i was proved right.Thank u so much for the kind words.

The nobel one i did not know really, a wonderful story, and a real one and the nobel prize is so valuable still today.Thanks for the great information, i think quite a few of us here have not heard this story.

Who knows after reading all that u friends say about me, i too may change , for the better, maybe to be a saint eh ! But be rest assured,t hat now u laugh with me, then u will go off to sleep aftger reading my blogs, for what else can a saint write but good holy things . So let me remain as i am, if u want to make me make u laugh.HAHA

Thanks a ton.

Regards

kamal

 

Dear Satchi,

i did not know my friend is a poetess eh ! and a great one at that.Superb.
Your comment i smuch better than my blog. too good.

Regards

kamal