Adamant daughter

My question to you: "How much do you think this astrologer is correct?"

I think it is only as much as you trust/believe or have faith in him. There are perfect cases where very well renowned astrologers have failed miserably.
PLEASE PLEASE do not go blindly behind some person who after all is a simple mortal doing this business for one square meal. You know your daughter better than any other 3rd person. Trust your instincts.

He may be looking awful to you because you are as it is judging by his caste but your daughter will be the one who will marry and live with him. So if she loves him I don't see what could be your problem about looks?

Yeah, Nice looking for you but not your daughter......right? Please try to understand she is 22 and has her own brains. She may not be seeing her groom the way you are seeing. She is no kid anymore. Please realize that.

Did you talk to the boy??? If not, then please do that first and find out about his family and approach his family. Tell your daughter also very frankly that you need to know about his family and she needs to also talk to him regarding that. Please do not worry about financial stability. They are still young and working....you said the boy is working as a manager in shop. So, both of them can make a decent living together. Very few are fortunate to be born milllionaires...right?? You and your spouse must have also worked your way up in life......agree???

You are talking about something the astrologer said will happen. OK now that may or may not happen....50:50 chance. Here, your daughter who is adult 22yrs old with sound mind is telling she is in love with this man and you are trying to ignore her feelings. She is as it is not happy now with you guys and your behaviour. What about that then? Did the astrologer say this?? NO!! Please consider her love too before you try to send her off with someone she does not like. That would be miserable for her lifelong and you cannot help her then except feel sorry.

Please atleast now, do as she wishes. It is after all she who is marrying. If she is so strong on her point then you should listen to her too.

What is the use of all this when you are failing to see your daughter's LOVE??? Isn't GOD also pure LOVE????
You guys need to change your mind not your daughter......in my opinion!!

Come On!!! What wrong has your daughter done?? She has only found her love and you guys are not able to get it through alright. Please stop crying, it is a time to enjoy and be happy for your daughter. She has found the love of her life!!

So now what has happened??? She can still finish her studies and get a job. Marriage is not the end of it. Let her get it clear by talking to her boyfriend and see how they work it out. You will be surprised they can plan their life very well......better than what you thought they could. So now as a parent please ask GOD to bless them to a happy life ahead.




This is all my opinion after reading your post. Please forgive me if I was blunt anywhere.


Sunitha

 

Looks like your daughter will not get married anytime soon to her boyfriend, so long as you do not keep pushing the topic of marriage. Seems she only said 'get me married to this guy' because you started all the horoscope nonsense about getting married as soon as possible.

Basically, you have two options. Forget about the predictions of when she needs to get married, and let this relationship run its course. If you pressurize her to get married NOW, chances are you will end up with this guy as a son in law. But if you give her time to make her own decision when to get married, the relationship might fizzle out completely over time.

She may love this guy she is dating. But that doesn't mean she is ready to marry him. She may still be on two minds... getting to know him, seeing how well they gel. So don't force her to make a hasty decision on this guy or any other guy. Like the other ladies, I also feel 22 is very young to get married. Give her a year or two to test the waters with her current boyfriend. If she breaks this relationship herself, then she will be able to look at the guys you suggest with an open mind and ready heart. But so long as she is having some feelings for him... any guy you show her is going to get rejected, even if he is best in the world!

So drop this marriage talk, else you might force her to do something she's not ready for.

 

Ma'am,

Astrologers are humans like us, just with a different job profile. That is all. They cannot predict our future. No one can. If this was possible, then why do we pray GOd.. ? Why cant we just pray to Astrologers ?

The first thing my hubby's relatives ( who trust astrologers like Gods ) told us when we decided to get married was that we wil get divorce in less than a year.. Well.. we are maried for 2 and half years now and I dont see we have anytime to divorce each other.

A cousin of mine was not getting the ' right ' proposals for long.. and she grew to become 30+ .. The renowned astrolgers said she has lost her mangalya time and would never get married .. Well, she got married to a very nice guy last November and is 34 now.

So, nothing can be predicted. Maybe the guy your daughter is in love with has no financial stability or family support now.. But, take sometime to check what the real issue is.. My hubby and me fell in love when we were in school.. We continued our relationship and eventually became a Doctor and ENgg. True at 22, even we didnt have any financial stability .. Not everyone does. But, life wont remain the same. We are financially well off now !

As everyone wrote, do not go by any astrologer who claims to predict future. Rather, let your daughter complete her studies, get financially independant and see life for herself. Trust me, like you she will cross through that age and will understand what she wants in her life for real !

Meanhwile, do not get judgemental about the guy, simply because your daughter likes him. Never comment on looks etc unless someday, you want to feel guilty about some flaw within yourselves. Please do not call anyone ugly.. No one is perfect.

 

Dear nalinamani,

I think as we Indian who brought up there and come here have all the worries about your daughter welfare.
But believe they are much more stronger than us. Suppose in wrong step for us to come out of bad marriage is a hassle.
Kids do lot of wrong steps and we can't protect each of those steps. They need to learn their lessons too. I know as parents we don't want see then in painful situation. But this is life and we can't prevent those events.
So be there for her all the time and guide her when she needed you as a mother.
Don't get stroke in case of she married that guy. But one thing for sure if your daughter knows that marriage is not going straight she has enough strength more than all of us to come out of that because she is raised here not in Indian culture.
So be brave and we can only pray to have her a happy life.

 

I think you should leave your daughter alone.She is just 22.She is too young to be married.Specially if she has stayed abroad and is used to freedom.

I was married at 22 and I know how immature I was.They checked horoscopes and did everything to the point and my marriage still failed.

The guy I chose was very good looking,well setttled and earned a very good salary.He came from an affulent family but none of these helped when the guy turned out to be an Abuser and total control freak.

As parents I believe you should guide your daughter and give her all pros and cons but please do not force her into something.

Marriage should not be rushed into..

Sorry if I sounded harsh but I am the living proof that all this hocus pocus don't work.

 

Hello maam,

The worst thing you can do right now is to pressure her to leave the boy. You can communicate your disapproval. Girls are hormonal and highly emotional at that age (usually).

Most middle class girls have had a pampered upbringing with daddy earning and mommy cooking and cleaning so they do not understand the dynamics of real life. This has been my general observation. I have found very few exceptions to this rule.

The best thing you can do at this point is:
1. Get to know the boy/ investigate to understand obvious red flags (bad habits, history...). If your findings are based on facts you can share them with her.
2. Is your daughter interested in pursuing a career, can you encourage her in that direction? That will open up her vision more to make balanced choices. Have her do a PG and work (in a city away from the boy).

I am not sure that she will be unhappy because of his community, being non-veg or being a model or not having much money currently. The more important factor is does he have a sound character and his family background. Also are his motives honorable. You definitely need to find out more about that.

Btw, you mentioned that you are out of india and he is in chennai. How did they meet and how do they keep in touch.

 

Ma'am,

I agree it is hurting when loved ones talk rude to us.. Just like you people, your daughter must be hurt too..

So, just leave her for now and do not talk about marriage, which gets the worst out of her. Leave it to time and do not talk to her till she makes a fair and right decision in her life. Trust your upbringing and just stay quite for now.

 

Please.. it's her life.. She's just 22, give her some time to think and choose her life partner. Don't you think you are adamant to get your daughter married to the guy of your choice for her and blaming her not accepting?

He is awful to you, not for her - She is the one going to live her life, not you, right?

 

Ma'am you need to back off a little. You are really suffocating your daughter and pushing her to make the wrong decision which both of you will regret.

Just let her alone and when she is ready for marriage, she will let you know. Parents pushing their kids to marriage and the girl/boy suffering in the marriage is listed in so many threads.

please relax and let her build her life.After she is the one going to live it.