How one can remain active and alert all the time. While looking at kids I observe them everytime so that they do not hurt themselves. The moment I lose my focus they either fall down get injured or spoil some food or milk. But for other things my mind work very slow. I forget many things in seconds and not able to observe even the major things going around. Is this a disease? If yes is it curable? If not what it is and how to improve on it.
Try meditation. Play some brain games or solve puzzles or sudoku etc. not many would agree on this, try foods that increase energy (sattvic foods) to an extent. But I feel you are doing your best .
Dear @messedup, From what I can see your kids are your priority and the fact that they seem to get into some thing the moment you turn around seems to make you pay more attention to them. I think it is a reflective action to stay alert about them because of your experience. If you pause and relax about kids, accept that Little falls are bound to happen, you will soon start focusing on other things. There seems to be this understanding that not paying attention to other things is not harming you as much as not paying attention to kids. It is just a response of your brain. On the other hand if your attention is on kids, if it comes from a point of joy, that will translate too and you will notice all the joyful things around you. So while keeping attention on kids, I think you should make an effort to pay attention to other things even if for a moment....it is like getting in the gap....if kids are asleep, let me pay attention deliberately to say reading 4 pages, or listening to a song or watching a bird, you know what I mean? Join us in the positivity thread 100 Days of Positivity and start posting there, you will start seeing a change. You need to take one step at a time
Thanks for the reply @jskls and @Srama What you both said I had done that. But there are lots of things. First thing is I am not able to follow anything in routine. The reasons are like if I do meditation 2-3 days then on 4th day I sleep very late at night and not able to do and I just forget the 5th day. My sleeping routine is also not fixed. From kids and h one or the other make it late and I sleep at 1 daily and have to wake up max at 7 in the morning. Can't do late. Also I live in joint family so either some guests come at odd time or some discussion start with someone that last long or something or the other keep going to distract any kind of routine that I try to follow. Also construction white wash this and that for maintaining house also remain active. I try hard for everything but end up sitting idle with blank mind and not able to decide what to do next moment. I do a lot of work but other than the work that come towards me I am not able to decide anything. I also get tired mentally with all these things and try to relax my mind but in that relaxation I forget many important things that my h told me or anything that has to be done. Also the kids they need me for everything and keep doing something or the other that I have to take care.
Hi M, I feel that you are too stressed or exhausted. Take a break mandatorily every now and then. Note important reminders then and there either on ur phone or have a board and write it down. I have this habit of writing it on board and ask my kids to do that too. Sticky notes help too. Once you write it down it will help you remember and go back to refer it. You are just doing too much is my humble opinion. Take it easy.
OMG it is result of stretching imagination. You are picture perfect as per my analysis of your responses to others posts this far. In India such young mothers do employ a young girl of age around 9 who would fit the bill. She gets trained by you and she take good care of your kids by giving constant company which is considered good potential for kids development. What dadimas of yore doing now got to be replaced with this kind of help. It is natural for the kids to fall and you are constantly keep watch but that can not be termed as disease. Your perceived lack of attention and alertness has nothing to do with any disease. Meditation or gym or any indoor exercise such as skipping pushups etc improves alertness and increases attention span.. Best wishes to you and blessings to your kids. REGARDS. God extend help to those who have dedicated hours for any form of exercise to cause positive rhythm set.
Thanks for the reply. You understood already how I am... I tried for that (keeping a girl) but no one is ready to stay. There was such facility during my eldest sil but now it's difficult to find out. For yoga I will definitely try to make a routine. I did it many times but as no routine is fixed at my place for anything so it always came to end in few days everytime. Still will try harder now. Thank you for being there. Suggestions from a mature person like you really matters a lot and feel great full for that. Thanks for your best wishes and blessings.
Eyes welled up & tear jerking. Regards. God is on our side and we with him would decide when to reach goal post and emerge winners.
How old are your children @messedup ? If they are under 4 then please do not worry about not doing other things. From what I read of your days my mind is reeling. The only advise I would give you now is to get rest - sleep or lie down with your eyes closed whenever you get an opportunity. For running the household smoothly as @jskls suggested write down a list of the important things you need to tackle. Making a list is very very important, and I strongly second jskls that it relieves our brain from remembering. This is one I have stressed in my Time Management thread. Also I follow the "roti, kapda, aur makaan" rule. (Food, clothes and shelter) in that order. From my experience, food is the main item I tackle first thing in the morning. Once the meals are prepared or close to prepared and I know the family will not go hungry it relieves a lot of pressure. Then take care of clothing needed for family ... just see to the minimum required. And then whatever you need to do for running your home. While planning allot a chunk of time for your guests. That way they are not a surprise. Start with one thing for yourself ... Instead of saying "everyday" I will do yoga say Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I will do yoga from 6:-6:30 and tell your family that for 30 minutes every three days you will do yoga and you need your time. Tell your children also and ask them to help mommy. If your children are older than 4, start giving them small responsibilities. It is very important to teach children to do some things themselves. Teach them to put away stuff, fold small pieces of clothing, ask them to put away dishes in the kitchen etc. At meal times teach them to take their plates and cups and place on the dining table. Make them wash their plates after meals - even if you have domestic help. Keeping an eye on the kids is important. However, as @Srama mentioned, allow them small falls, small bruises - these are important also for them as part of growing up. Most of all, remember that very soon your children will grow up and you will have a lot of time. So learn to enjoy every moment. Here is one of my favorite write ups by one of my favorite writer Erma Bombeck that I have posted in this forum several times. Posting it one more time for newer members and young mothers. WET OATMEAL KISSES by Erma Bombeck This was written in response to a young mother’s complaint about the house being messy and the children being unruly. The baby is teething; The children are crying. Your husband just called and said “Eat dinner without me.” One of these days you’ll explode and shout to the kids, “Why don’t you grow up and act your age?” And they will. Or “You guys get outside and find yourself something to do,” and “don’t slam the door” And they don’t. You’ll straighten their bedrooms all neat and tidy; toys displayed on the shelf; Hangers in the closet; animals caged. You’ll yell, “Now I want it to stay this way.” And it will. You’ll yell, “I want complete privacy on the phone — no screaming! Do you hear me?” And no one will answer. No more plastic tablecloths with stains of spaghetti. No more dandelion bouquets. No more iron-on patches. No more wet knotted shoelaces, muddy boots, or rubberbands for ponytails. Imagine a lipstick with a point! No babysitter for New Year’s Eve. Washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings or silly school plays where your child is a tree. No car pools, blaring stereos, or forgotten lunch money. No more Christmas presents made of library paste and toothpicks. No wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No more giggles in the dark, scraped knees to kiss or sticky fingers to wash. Only a voice asking – “Why don’t you grow up?” And a silent echo — “I did.” Currently I am experiencing the last line and it is still very painful.
