Abhi Toh Main Jawaan Hoon (I Am Still Young)

[JUSTIFY][/JUSTIFY]My evenings are very busy these days. Where I used to spend them all alone at home, I now have my mom to visit. What better person to visit than one's own mom? I remember getting a wonderful welcome whenever I used to visit home in Pune, when she lived there. She used to open the door with a smile and say "Va" (come). She now lives in a home. I open the door myself and walk into her room, but I still get the same warm welcome. "Va". Then she will proceed to inquire when I came, whether I have had my lunch. Today when I went, she was already sitting on the lawn with the other elderly people. I walked up to her. She caught sight of me walking up to her, although I did so from behind her and as I picked up a chair, she said, "come, when did you come"? After that it does not really matter whether the rest of her conversation makes sense or it doesn't. But the good news is it does - many times.

The better news is my mom is proving to be a one man entertainment company in that one single room of four people with varying degrees of dementia (the remaining unfortunately far progressed). Her care-givers have some funny stories to tell me.

The first story was the second day after she arrived. One young male care-giver came into the room and enquired how she was doing. She snapped her fingers at him and said "Nee poda ingendu" (You get out of here). The girls (her care-givers) can't stop laughing when they tell me how she snapped her fingers at him. :-D

My mom is a smart operator. She will never give away the fact that she can't remember your name. The girls keep asking her everyday who I am. (I am varyingly her daughter, her older sister, her younger sister or her mother). One day she got irritated and told her care-giver "I have already told all of you who she is". The girl told her "But you did not tell me". Mom replied "Of course, I have told everyone she is my daughter". "Isn't she your mil"? "My mil"? she retorted and gave a mocking laugh. (She once told me "Stop bullying me, even my mil never told me to stand aside". So I told her "I did not straighten you out when I should have, so I have come back as your daughter to straighten you out in this life".)

Today morning the psychiatrist came and asked her how she was doing. Usual style she replied that she was doing perfectly fine. (Even the day before the surgery when the doc asked her how she was the reply was "Fine thank you, how are you"? That used to be the stock reply everyday in the hospital till the doc told his assistants one day "These are good manners". LOL) So she asked Amma who the care-giver was. Mom replied that the care-giver knew who she (the care-giver) was. :rotfl. The psychiatrist asked her if she (Amma) knew what her name was. She replied "I know who she is, but she knows her own name too" and added to the care-giver, "tell her what your name is". The psychiatrist just laughed, shrugged her shoulders, said "Smart lady" and walked off.

My mom has always been very well dressed and prim and proper. She used to often refer to others as "that old lady or that old gentleman" - even people who are younger than her. I used to ask her whether she was very young. The other day the care-giver called her "Paati". Amma got very offended and told her "Paati? You are only Paati". :rotfl Today the lady next to Amma who can't hear or see and who constantly chews up all her clothes had chewed her fourth T-shirt wet. The care-giver told Amma, see this Paati is not listening. Tell her. Amma kept calling out to her "B.... Paati, B.... Paati" :rotfl The lady did not respond. Amma shook her head sadly at the care-giver. It is nice to see her trying to reach out to another person who is worse off than her. It was also extremely funny to see her calling the other lady "Paati". God is great.

Now that she is able to get up, there is a new risk. If the care-giver is not there for a single moment, she gets out of her chair and tries to walk on her own. So now she will need a new chair out of which she cannot get out so easily.

 

She is certainly one smart cookie Sabitha. That is what I marvel at - her instinct of self preservation. No matter what she remembers or not, she knows how to keep others from knowing that she does not know or has forgotten!!!!!

Thanks for the prayers and good wishes. One can always do with plenty of them and it is those and only those that have helped her come back to this state. :-D