Aarushi; Another angle-by Dr Madhvi Karol

Dear all IL Friends,
I just read in India.msn. in the ‘Have your say’ forum and this article by Dr. Madhvi Karol is an eye opener for all our Family members engaging “Resident Helpers” (Appropriate name by Doctor-for calling servant). I got her permission to forward this to all IL family. I am very glad that she is also a member of IL answering all Medical questions.
Vinoran

Aarushi; Another angle
-by Dr Madhvi Karol Saturday, July 12, 2008
This story has been read 1581 times.


When my children were young I used to have a permanent resident helper (I don’t like calling them servants) in my house because of my busy schedule and demanding children. Handling my life at three fronts was a Herculean task. I managed somehow. When my children started going to school I shifted to a house where I could operate from home, leaving my established practice of few years. I also had to teach them as I never sent them for tuitions because I thought no one could teach them better than me. Till my younger son got out of school I stayed put there. Of course I did have very good helpers with me to tide over those demanding years.
First thing I did after moving to another house was to keep part time helpers. With grown up children I could afford to do that.

But the problem is still fresh for working couples especially those who have little family support. It is one of the reasons couples are delaying having children and when they do they opt for one or maximum two children. Managing a house and profession then becomes one big headache. That is when you need to harness outside support. That is when role of helpers becomes so very important.

Life has changed dramatically in the last one decade or so with its inherent advantages and disadvantages. Getting good helpers is no more a simple exercise, besides having trustworthy helper is one big problem.

With changing times, the profile of helpers has also changed. They are no more those loyal ones who stayed with you for generations. They want to get rich quick like everyone else. Moreover coming from distant places with the motive of earning money, you can not check their antecedents.

Call me old fashioned but I would never keep a male helper in the house with a girl child around. Here Aarushi was in her early teens, at a very vulnerable stage. I remember long time back one of patients brought a small girl for some ailment. I asked her to bring urine sample of the child. And guess what? Dead sperms were found in her urine!!! I told the parents to immediately change the helper. She never came back to me. I don’t know what happened after that.

Couples working for long hours should stop and think before hiring helps. In today’s changing times of rapid urbanization, couples working for long hours must think of better ways to bring up children. Being self employed, I could take the step and shift my practice but I understand such choices are not available to all. May be when you plan to have children, either depend on the support of your parents, take up part time job, work from home or leave the job as a last resort; it’s nothing compared to happiness and proper upbringing of your child.

Though it is not a guarantee and sometimes you do lose your temper with your employees, it is better to treat your employees with respect and not abuse them. Try not to throw them out after arguments or a quarrels. You never know what is going in other persons mind?
There are many if and buts in Aarushi murder case but then we must draw lessons from such incidents.
Lastly I would say police should be proper trained to investigate. Regrettably, it was a farce in Aurushi’s case. Wonder if police force wwould take action to rectify their mistakes. No Aarushi should ever die again in such circumstances and no criminal should be set free for lack of evidence.