A typical case study!

Dear Indhusri,

I loved your last statement. How often do we use our anger as an outlet and not as a statement of our dislike. You are one good woman. May your tribe increase.

Dear Cheeniya,

I am aghast that at the end of a gruelling, stressful day, you vent your spleen at nameless, faceless, hapless bloggers at the other end of the e-wall. You with all your worldly wisdon and saintly white beard!

Moi, well, when this happens to me, I just accept the stress. I use the wisdom of Aikido to get into the mind of the stressor, I channelise the healing energy of the universe into my soul, do a few cooling, cleansing cycles of Chandra naadi pranayama and lo! I am all de-stressed, fresh and fragrant as morning dew.

Truth be told, Cheeniya, when confronted with stress, I rave and rant.Give it a good shout or a good cry. Take it out on the wonderful human married to me and who loves me inspite of my banshee phase. Shout at my students, the maid, the driver in front of me, innocent bloggers who may turn out not to be so annonymous after all. I am stress personified. Medusa like-----

I think the main issue (we do not call our problems as 'problems' in an Utopian Oprah world) is that we do not really and fully accept the stress. We could use humour, squeee balls, yoga, punching boards anything temporary to vent the pressure, but till we claim it , it will remain real and looming. Does that remove the stress? Maybe not, but atleast we look much better not shouting like hysterical Frenchmen. And in any pressurizing situation when faced between anger and grief, we choose anger since it gives us more control.

A couple of months back, I received some horrifying news. For the first two weeks, I was a roaring tornado. And then I realised that, I could stress over the issue, blame it on karma, nature, the cat next door; or I could accept my situation and get on with life, making it easier for myself and mine. And believe me, it was not so difficult once my mind was made. I went to sleep tight and angry, I woke up all fresh and fragrant as morning dew (hey, a girl can use flattering adjectives even when referring to herself). I still do not have a solution to my issue, but I learnt to cope. Do I give myself a 'V' here or what?

Great piece of writing by you, Cheeniya. You can turn the daily mundane into a lesson of life. And with every post, I learn something new from you. And think about it as sleep hits the mind. And that C, is the glory of any writer. To have his readers recollecting him in tranquillity.

Cheers!
V24

 

hi sri and indhu,


It is nice feeling venting out on an unknown person as long as you are not in the receiving end...:biggrin2:. My argument is that it is a vicious circle which could come back to you.....sometime..or the other....

and again i am not condemning anybody....i am writing what i practice..i try to relax..and if the going is more bad..who else ... then... to lift the phone and place a call..(dont ask me about my isd bills...)

 

Dear C,

I know one thing for sure. I may look good being angry, but I dont sound too good being funny! Can't you take a joke? Of course, I know that you will not vent your fury issuing insults to invisible bloggers. Of course, I know first person narratives do not mean the writer is the hero, however autobiographical they may be. And rest assured, I revere the white beard.

As you rightly say, helpless anger is a killer. It is reductionist. And worse, over time, it fosters a sense of self righteousness in perpetuating wrong. I have seen that some of the persons who foster hate have been victims and do it with a sense of moral duty.

Loved the peom, reading it for the first time.

'May peace reign in IL'! Amen, thathasthu, mashallah to that.

Yup, you have opened a discussion on anger management. And as always, you have been effective. Loving your works, your words and look forward to more.

cheers!
V24

 

Dear sri,
Your post on typical case study of bottled irritability, call it hurt, makes interesting reading.
Very often, right from the day starts, things go wrong. As I wrote once in your blogs, some are days of

Idi idikka
Mazai peyya
Vilakku anaiya
Thirudan vara
Thael kotta
Kuzanthai aza

We need to vent out our anger. There is a tamil saying

SuvatrOdaavathu solli azu !

Many pshychiatrists suggest, that we must write out in a sheet of paper, all the hurt that we feel and finally tear off that paper.That way, we let out our steam pent up inside and we feel relieved, rather light in our mind.
With modern facilities, perhaps internet acts as a sounding board, as well, but without reacting. That makes it more convenient for us because the reaction is dumb as we want it to be, but we are more at peace with ourselves.(Telling someone how hurt we are, can be risky, because the person may not be trust-worthy.). As you rightly say, the anonymity gives us utter freedom !
But before posting, it is better to think twice if the target is "safe" (?) ! We should not jump from the frying pan into the fire.
Well, what I write has nothing to do with IL, MIL, DIL etc.
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Sri Sir,
When the tide is not in my favour, I just scream, rave and rant .Nobody in particular will listen to me nor do i not target anybody. Even in anger, I think it is better to be safe. what to do? Blame it on "thalaividhi". My belief is everyone is not going to please you nor can you please all. Orukku nallavana/ nallavlla irukka mudiyadhu. Whatever you do someone will be angered by it so the best thing to do is rave and rant to yourself or cry and scream loud. What are walls for???????:crazy
Case study excellent.