A 'mother's day' special...

It is mother's day once again, but this time I’m going to write about someone else. I am not going to say the much clichéd “She was like a mother to me" because now I know what it is to be a mother. What I feel for my child is something I cannot feel for anybody else in the world. But, with all sincerity I can say she was a good MIL. Her children always came first with her, and I no longer see that as a fault because it is the same with most of us. It only shows that she was a GREAT mother. Besides, why should a MIL be a mother to the DIL? Surely that particular term was coined to denote a totally different relation?

Today I understand her more than I ever understood her, and I can justify many of her actions with “Oh, probably I would have done the same in her situation." Oh yes, we both are typical Scorpios.

There were a lot of things about her that I admired. She not only preached but also practised equality between the sexes, and had taught both her son and daughter to share the household work because she herself couldn't do much by the time I entered their lives. She had taught them both to read and write Tamil and it was a great disappointment to her that she couldn’t discuss Tamil novels with me. She thought the world of her children and others had to bear the brunt of this Once, when her sister came to meet her, I could swear that both of them were praising their sons at the same time without listening to the other, with me looking on as a stunned spectator.

I knew nothing about cooking then, and the first time her sister and family came over for a meal she told them that I had made the sambhar. Of course, I avoided that aunt’s eyes throughout the meal. :hide:She was a great hostess and always kept in mind what the guest liked and prepared it for them. My brother and my cousin both used to visit me and they enjoyed her company as she played chess with them or talked about the latest novel she had read.

She was very intelligent and her tongue-in-cheek sense of humour made her very good company. Here are some instances...

When MGR passed away I was at my mother's place, and after I came back she talked to me about it. My hubby was surprised and asked her why talk about it after so many days and she replied “illai da, aval irukalaye appo, adhunala dhukham vijarikaren" (she was not here when it happened so I am offering my condolences).

Once, both hubby and I had gone out, and came back late to find guests at home. We later learnt that she had explained our absence with "they are newly married, no? Of course, they will have so much to talk…. Don’t they have to decide whether communism or capitalism is good for the country?"

One of our friends had presented us with a diary when we got married and we talked at home about it being a very weird gift. Months later when he invited us to his son’s first birthday and we were in need of an idea for a present for him, she came up with "now you can give him a pocket diary" which I found totally hilarious.

I used to give her insulin injections for her diabetes regularly. Instead of dreading those times she used to say laughingly "now this is your chance to have your revenge on me… you can jab me really hard!"

She enjoyed seeing me decked up (somehow I couldn't be bothered, unless it was an occasion) and would buy me flowers when I wore a sari and encourage me to wear trousers. Later she would say to her sister proudly that "my DIL looks good both in modern and traditional wear because she is tall."

She saw to it that my hubby took leave from work and took me out on every monthly anniversary for the whole first year of our marriage. On our first wedding anniversary (good for me that, by then I had learned some cooking from her) I wanted to invite my family for a home cooked dinner with us. Later that night she told my hubby "My DIL looked like a pretty flower this morning but now has that withered look. Never must you make her work on your anniversary again." I was so touched, and to date I rate it as the best compliment that I have ever received.

Sadly, all these good times lasted only for a year after our marriage. My MIL was diagnosed with cancer and was in and out of hospitals over the next two years, which turned her into a very different person. She was totally bedridden during the last few months of her life and I knew what it was to take care of a loved one with patience. But even in that frail stage, she was so just that she used to tell me "why should you do so much for me? I have done a lot only for my kids, so let them look after me now. You have to do for your parents."

Now, aren’t you all thinking that she was the BEST? Of course!!! For me, that relationship was for keeps. In honour of mother’s day, I dedicate this post to my late MIL. Whatever were our squabbles, I am fiercely loyal to her as she was to me…we never let each other down and I want only fond memories of her. Another typical trait in Scorpios, I guess


Happy Mother's day, Dear friends ...:cheers

 

Viji I find that really amusing. I will be waiting for you

 

Many of us lack in seeing they goodness when they are with us around we never take them seriously.

very true Aruna. I have been wanting to write about her for quite sometime now. She was a real broadminded person .Also this is for my Mri because she never knew this grandma of hers My MIL adored children but never lived to see her grandchild.


I just loved that she has told K not to make you work on the anniversary.

hahaha and I make sure that K listens to his mother

 

thank you,my dear Viji You always have a special affection for me so you have only nice things to say about me .I a not sure I deserve all your compliments but nevertheless love you for that

. One thing which used to worry me she did not like my husband helping me and taking me out. When

these sort of things we learn to smile and shrug of with age, I guess. Oh how nice it would be if wisdom came early in life .