A humble letter to all the Mom-in-laws, Husbands and Daughter-in-laws

blessed · Apr 13, 2012

1. You have been a wonderful mother.
2. Waking up early to do the daily chores for the family – even forgetting or ignoring your leg and knee pains. Looking very active may be by popping up some painkillers quietly.
3. What happened to you once your son got married? Why have you started feeling the pain in your leg? Why are you feeling sad to get up early in the morning? Why are you suspicious suddenly? Where have you got the fears from? Why are you feeling lonely?
4. Answer - The expectations.
5. Of course, you have every right to expect. After all, you are expecting only from your own son and the adopted daughter.
6. On behalf of – the entire daughter in laws and sons community – I promise all your expectations will come true. In fact you will get much more than what you really expect.
7. We just expect you to pop in some more painkillers and continue your wonderful job of handling the family for some more years after your sons wedding. May be 10 to 15 years more.
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If only my MIL would have realized this when I got married 17 years ago, I would have had a wonderful start in my married life... but how may MIL's will follow this? I have my own doubt... but at least we will try to change this present generation, If only I had a son i would 100% follow them. Hope at least my DD gets good understanding MIL.

my MIL is no more, but her memories still bring shivers down my spine....

Umakk · Apr 13, 2012

Thanks a lot for sharing such a touching reply......don t worry things are changing.........for your good thoughts you daughter will definitively get a lovely MIL.............

machan · Apr 13, 2012

Hi
nice post.

Umakk · Apr 13, 2012

Thanks for the motivating reply..........I like ur words"thanks for ur beautiful narration where no body is hurt....thanks dear"........thanks a lot.................

suryakala · Apr 13, 2012

Dear Umakk,

I appreciate the spirit of your post which contains many positive suggestions in the mother-in law, daughter-law and son triangle.
In the Indian Family system,where the son is expected to support the life of the aged parents, the mother-in-law naturally feels insecure when her son has to share his attention and resources to his wife.

In the context of educated earning and independent daughters-in -law, the mothers- in-law need a reassurance by both the son and the daughter- in -law in verbal and non verbal communication and actions.This is more so, in a country where the state does not won responsibility for the welfare of the senior citizens.

While many sons do take care of their parents in their old age, unfortunatly there are many instances in which they fail to take care of the emotional, social,and financial needs of the parents.

Your post would have been much more complete if the above factors were also taken in to consideration by you.

Thanks for sharing your excellent views in this post.

Umakk · Apr 13, 2012

Thanks a lot...I appreciate your concern.........I will address these issues in my upcoming article on parenting

manjukps · Apr 13, 2012

Very nice post dear. Will be more help to all new dils, mils and dhs. Given time everything will go smooth and happy. If forced, it breaks everything.

I am now married for 18 years. With my mom's help I did understand my m-i-l's fear and to be very patient to make her comfortable and I am not an intruder in the family. I was also first dil of family. All other 3 dils are in US. My husband is also a very understanding person. He balanced both of us very well. Now my in-laws feel they are more comfortable living with us.

Regards
Manjukps