A Doggy Tale

‘STUDY,STUDY, STUDY! Trust parents to keep on and on and on at it! How can they expect me to study all the time! I wish I were like you, Zeets!’

I wagged my tail in agreement…as I always did. I knew Nidhi was cheesed off about something.... Probably something mum said... She is rather edgy these days and upset Nidhi so much! So I added a melting look in addition to my wagging. That did it!

‘Why couldn’t I have been born a dog?’ wailed Nidhi. ‘No exams, no need to study, no homework! Zeets! I envy you.’ Nidhi pulled me by my ears and cuddled me.

Yeah? I thought as I struggled to break free. Hello… You think it is easy being a dog? What about all those days in my infancy when you were naming me? Come to think of it, why is it that you want to always name a dog Rita? So clichéd! Or Boxer? It makes one feel very short and bare, you know. Why cant you give us canines name that have a …er certain aura… How about Napoleon…huh? Okay…if you don’t know history…at least call us Brute…instead of Jimmy! So utterly clownish! How about Mikayela or even Priscilla...? I spent sleepless days till you all agreed upon Zeets. Anything but that stereotypical Rita or even the filmy Lassie… There are a few of us with taste for these things, you know…

And remember your attempts at training me? I had a tough time wagging my posterior end as though I was enjoying all those silly sessions. Shake Hands... Sit Down... Heel... Fetch… Our job description says we are to guard your home, chase postmen and cats, take you on your daily run, bark at strangers…full stop. And perhaps, act like your best friend … not be a slave to fetch things for you… Why can’t you walk to the door and pick up your own newspaper? Each time I panted with exhaustion, you said ‘ Look, she is Smiling… She is enjoying it…’ And made me do all those juvenile human antics again… and again… and again… till I wanted to yowl with frustration!

Thank God I met that Doberman who told me ‘You better do what they say immediately fella… Once they come to know they can show off how well- trained a dog you are, they’ll leave you alone!’ .... and the Pekinese in the arms of the buxom lady in the park who told me to work on my ‘cute expression’. ‘Just stare at them with a melting look, add a lick or two and they’ll fall flat and start ‘koochie- koo’ing you.’

Hey, I learnt more stuff outdoors in the company of my tribe than in the hands of you humans…! Can you humans teach me how to aim at the lamp post? Ol' Mangy taught me that! Still you are okay, I guess, even though you are human…especially when you sneak food under the table for me…By the way, another dish of that Pedigree readymade meal and I am going on hunger strike. You think it is good? Junk food, that’s what it is … and it is not fattening either. We canines like home made food too!

Well! It is time to lick Nidhi’s ears and prance around near the door… or I’ll never be taken out…So, you may think you can’t teach old dogs new tricks… but we old dogs do have a few tricks under our collar…Heh! Heh! And we have trained you well too…