A Boy's Decision

I stood stunned. I could scarcely breathe and could not even move. I stood still absorbing what that evil lady just said before she left. If she had stabbed me that would have been a kind act. She had chosen to kill me with her harsh words. “You are the son of a whore”, these were her exact words.
I lived with my mother on the edge of our village. My mother made ends meet by selling food to road side travelers. We managed. I always knew something was not right. We had no family call on us and my mother refused to talk about my father.
Her eyes wore a permanently sad look and despair hung around her like a cloud. I refused to go to school as the other kids were never friendly to me. I acted like a rotten kid with hair always unkempt and a foul mouth.
I hated my life and had always succeeded in letting my mother aware of it. She never reacted. Her life revolved around making ends meet to provide me with food and clothing and shelter. And of course love. She genuinely loved me and there was no doubt in my mind she was living for me.
I had wandered off in search of a playmate this morning. When I stumbled on a boy I knew some time back. He agreed to play and we were getting ready when his mother came and yanked him by the head refusing to allow him to play with me because “I was the son of a whore”.
We both stood there bewildered at what appeared as some accusation and the other boy found courage to ask the meaning of the word “whore” to which this lady explained in much detail with an evil look in her eyes and contempt on her face.
After they left me, I lost count of time and space. I must have wandered because when I got my senses back the light had started to fade.
I experienced a calm and serenity I had never experienced in my life before. It made sense us living isolated with no friends. My mother’s sadness and her hard work to educate me and make something of my life.
At this moment I knew I never cared what happened or how I was born.
All I could feel was gratitude for the life source in me. Indebted to my mother for all the sacrifices she made and the numerous taunts she must have put up with. For me.
I felt a resolve growing within me slowly and steadily till it spread through my blood and my bones to my heart.
I now realised I wanted to make good of this life. I wanted to work hard and become educated and take care of mother.
I no longer despised my life for not the way I wanted it to be. I embraced it the way it was.
I started walking steadily towards my village. My movements were strong and my head held high.
I walked into the barber shop. The barber looked up to see me but said nothing. I waited my turn along with one another customer who was the local school teacher too.
I asked this teacher about how to resume my studies and he appeared glad to help me and instructed me to come to school the next day so he can take care of the details.
When the barber finished cutting my hair his eyes showed appreciation for the direction I had chosen to take.
I then walked home. My mother was waiting outside her face grave with worry and concern. Even from the distance she could tell I knew.
When I went close to her I reached out to fall at her feet for giving me my life when she pulled me into a tight embrace.
We knew we would make it together. Against all odds.
When we turned to go back in to our home, I saw for the first time a glimmer of hope in my mother’s eyes and a joy for my having accepted her for who she was. Her smile turned upwards in gratitude for a prayer and so did mine.

 

Andal I am also touched by your comment. Thank you so much

 

Mindi You have written it better in your own words. Thanks.

 

Lalitha Thanks dear. Your words of appreciation has also touched me.