7 months baby cries in the evening searching for me.

abinayamadhavan · Jul 10, 2013

Dear Mommas,
I am a mom of a 7 months baby boy and working in IT. MY inlaws look after my son in the day time. He cries most of the time in the day and evening after 5, non stop crying searching for me. Once I come at 7 he feels very happy and doesn't go back to anyone not even for 5 min. if anyone offer their hands to lift him, he stares at them and turns his face. THe biggest prob is he refuses to eat in the day time, which makes me upset. Morning i feed him and he makes no fuss. I don know how to make him get comfortable wit my inlaws. I take him wherever We go in the weekends. I am very sad that he cries and doesn't eat. How to handle him? I just want him to be happy and eat well . . If I am there around he refuses to go to his dad also.. Is it natural . . How long this behaviour be? WIll it change in due course? Mommies please help:roll:

vsharma · Jul 10, 2013

Hi,

Its purely in baby's nature. Which month you started going for work? Before going for work would have been best if you had not spent much time with your baby and let your In laws take care of him totally so he get used to it. Now since suddenly you going to office, he might be missing you but do not worry the kid will get adapted to your in laws soon. Tell them to divert him, show rhymes or play with toys.

abinayamadhavan · Jul 10, 2013

Sharma,
I started going to work when he was 5 months old. I had no complaints these 2 months. Since last 2 weeks this change. Every monday he fusses a lot bcoz weekends i spend with him. Evening cry is a non stop one, i hear his cry when i enter the street. He never gets convinced especially after 5, he never listens to anyone, but looks around and cries. A friend of mine had the same prob with her son and he fell sick often. Having no other way she shifted her house close to her office. its not possible in mine, as we have an own house which is far away from my work place. Will this behaviour of him change in due course, I am worried abt his health as he refuses to eat...

abinayamadhavan · Jul 10, 2013

anybody has this trouble. pls share and give me some suggestions

SangeeVenkee · Jul 10, 2013

Hi Abi,
Not many live in their own houses when facing such situations. Please rent a house near your office so that you can atleast save the travel time and be with your baby.

vanithasekar · Jul 10, 2013

Hi abinaya,

This is very common in babies… u can speak to him.. even though he is 7 mnths old.. he can understand our expressions.. tell him that” mummy will come back soon.. till then u be with ur grandparents without making fuss”.. slowly he will understand..
You will be surprised to know that my five yr old daughter still cries for me when I go to office and will search me after 6.. her face will change completely and she will not be interested in anything till I come!!
Don’t worry.. kids will easily adopt to situations..

With love,
vani

abinayamadhavan · Jul 10, 2013

Absolutely right Vanitha.. But we moms don't have the heart to see our littl ones crying. Mine is kinda adamant, if that kind of crying he never sheds tears. IF he really cries, he sheds tears which bring tears in my eyes too.. Truth is I find it difficult to leave him there and come to office.. I don know if he misses me more or I miss him more. I speak with him, he sighs uttering some sounds that's lovely. He hugs me tightly when i lift him, while with others he doesn't do that, while look around everywhere to find me. After i go home he wants me to be wit him, speak wit him, play wit him etc.. That's lovely to be a mom. No pleasure in this world can give this happiness

vsharma · Jul 10, 2013

Hi Abinaya,

Is there any park near your house where your in laws can take ur son in the evening or some temple? Cos being at home he might remember you but outside he will not. Just for an hour tell them to take to park or temple if any. It will be alright soon, one thing i followed with my DS is when he cries I never lifted him or showed him more affection cos then it becomes there habit. I just ignored and he stops crying himself. Weekends also i would suggest keep him more with in laws till he reaches age of understanding your position. Another few months once he enters the age of playing and walking he will not look around for you.

Are there any neighbour kids around your house?

abinayamadhavan · Jul 10, 2013

That's a good idea.. I will ask my IL's take him to the nearest temple. They usually take him to the street to make him play with the other kids.. But he hardly look at them. As you say When he cries v shouldn entertain it. My inlaws never leave him down other than the time he sleeps.. I think that's another prob.. yesterday he cried very badly, after i lifted him he calmed down, i made him sit and he passed stools immediately.. I think he would have wanted to pass stools, but lifting had irritated him..

Rakhii · Jul 10, 2013

Abinaya, I experienced this when I left my DD at daycare. Yes, he is missing you and that's why he is fussing. Mondays are always going to be a little difficult as they spend 2 days with us.
At that age I remember that my DD used to be fussy. Sun-down issues I guess. I used to take her for a walk in her stroller and she used to love it.

Buy some interesting toys and request your inlaws to leave him down. Its so nice of them to take care of him. Thing with grand parents is that, they think only if we pick him up all the time, they are loved. So, they need to be told gently. If you keep picking him up, there is a possibility that he will make a fuss everytime you keep him down in future.
Let him crawl around...play.