3rd Time My Dad Is Cancelling Colon-rectal Appt

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by SuiDhaaga, Jul 12, 2023.

  1. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    I was very encouraged by these forums that said Dad should try soft food diet for few days to relieve constipation

    When I told my Dad he said ok, make appt, let's ask Dr how to manage constipation after knee replacement surgery

    Today I wanted to review (again) what we will ask Colon-Rectal surgeon how to relieve constipation

    This is the 4th (and new Dr) we are trying

    Dad is frustrated and said just cancel it.

    I said that I thought we'd ask Colon-Rectal surgeon which of his heart medicines may be making constipation worse and Dad said Dr won't know

    Dad wanted knee replacement surgery (that is why he agreed to do TAVR Heart Surgery) but is scared that putting pressure will rip out stitches in knee

    I asked how are we going to get this resolved because i am not a medical Doctor.

    After talking we came up with few things

    1. Cancel appointment for this Thursday and few weeks later re-schedule it. At least by then "there might be hope" according to my Dad

    2. i can research online what liquid diets may relieve constipation. Dad says he can go on liquid diet for a month. Dad says before he goes on liquid diet, ask few Doctors. For that we need to make appt, even if it is Telemedicine appt with Primary Care Physician.

    3. I said that if he has knee replacement surgery and he is in hospital, the medical staff can do enema till the stitches in knee are healed.



    He wishes he never had TAVR Heart Operation and would rather be dead of have stroke because at least he won't know what is going on.

    Sometimes i feel that he just wants to give up living and even trying to get better. i feel really bad because i think if we try, we can get this fixed

    Today I watched a True Crime case where a mother poisoned her family with anti-freeze. The father and son died. The 24-year old daughter lived but because of severe brain and kidney damage, she is now in assisted living for whole life (what kind of life will she have, and how long will her life has because she has no loved ones to advocate for her)

    Really, this is so upsetting

    Can you present any solutions. I tried asking in ChatGPT and they says speak to medical provider.

    Edit: ChatGPT mentions some liquid diet, but doesn't give duration, ChatGPT
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2023
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Why is he reluctant to see a specialist? If he is taking medications he shouldn’t make drastic changes to diet without proper advice.
    And every time you cancel an appointment it takes a long time to schedule another one.
    Chat GPT is not a doctor.
     
  3. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    You bet, it takes a month to get on the calendar

    Chat GPT is only for guidance

    And he says before change to diet I should ask Dr

    But I need to find out what questions to ask first.

    He feels really discouraged because this Specialist will be the 4th one and Dad says he will only refer him to a GI doc who will either say (1) it's in his head or (2) refer him back to Colon-Rectal specialist

    But we have to try and make the first move for even tiny bit of improvement
     
  4. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    I agree with @MalStrom . Your dad should not go under any diet without prior advise from his physician. Just because you delay it, the problem is not going to go away. The sooner you see a doctor the better.
     
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  5. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    I wish I can convince him, I am really scared

    It seems like he has resigned himself and is crying in pain.
     
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  6. gamma50g

    gamma50g Gold IL'ite

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    If he is crying in pain, I would overrule him and take him to the ER pronto
     
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  7. SuiDhaaga

    SuiDhaaga IL Hall of Fame

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    Not literally crying in pain, but yelling, talking loud because he is in discomfort and distress.

    he has headache due to poor bowel movement and I have headache due to worry

    he gets very tiny bowel movements a day, once or twice a day

    I thought Dad wound have hope when I suggested that when he get knee replacement surgery and is recovering in hospital, the nurse etc can do enema. That way to pressure and no risk to break surgery stitches

    I cannot force him to go to ER. They are overcrowded and he was screaming when Drs were pricking him with needles and IVs before his heart surgery.

    we are fortunate that when Dad went for TAVR follow up, Dr admitted him to hospital instead of going through worse ordeal of ER

    I’m feeling upset for this whole thing.
     

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