3 and half years old - need help

tuffyshri · Jun 22, 2010

My daughter is 3 and half years old (3 years and 10 months to be precise) is all active girl. I want to confirm with other moms on -
1) her food habit
2) her weight
3) her activities

1) food habit - in the morning she takes 1 large glass of milk or bournvita with 1 spoon sugar added in it. very rarely she takes tiffin for breakfast - she will definitely take bread, noodles, idli. but never take dosa, upma, pongal, pasta. she goes to school where I give her 2 snacks - one biscuit and one fruit or sundal (dont know in english) or raisins, dates or cakes or cheerios. She comes home in the afternoon and my maid feeds her lunch - dal rice and curd rice with some vegetables. after that she will take milk in the evening with some biscuits or fruits. at night 1 chapathi, little bit of dal and curd rice. at times she takes chips etc.

2) she is 15 kgs now and the doctor says she is over-weight. i dont know her real height but is taller than the usual 3.5 group. For me she looks plumpy - can any food habit to be changed.

3) morning is all packed with daily routine, drink milk and leave for school. i dont know what she does in school - she never opens her mouth. (i always hear that she was taught ABCD (for whole 2 years? uh!) and some coloring. ) i know she is an active person where she tries to explore lot of things. even at home she is an expert in breaking things. she can just like that pull things apart or break open any doll. give her a cardboard and you can see the pieces of it. give her a doll and she can do an anatomy of it. she keeps talking to herself always something or the other. if i ask her what she is doing she will say she is playing. then i ask her "What are you playing" "Game" (whoa!!!!???) "What game?" "play game". she loves to do the role play - me as her and she as me or me as her and she as teacher/driver/maid/mom/dad, etc. when you ask her to do something she will immediately respond in negative "no" "matten (i wont)", etc. am pretty upset with her way of growing and need inputs. she doesnt listen until i threaten her to throw out of house or tie with rope, etc. soemtimes she listens to me as a good girl - like she will arrange the stuff into shelf but will not arrange her own toys. i dont understand her likes and dislikes and carries away with whatever seems good for her. i can say it short - adamant! she will be all fine until i ask her to put her toys away, that is when she will say her hands are paining, her back is itching, etc. bu now a days often she complaints of pain in the leg, dunno why. not sure if is real but when she says it i feel so sorry for her. why would a small child get pains and all?
she stays up at night until 12, even if I sleep away. she gets up very late which cannot be corrected at all. she doesnt takes nap. no complaints for watching TV - she is ok on that perspective. not a fussy eater. eager to learn new things. can grasp stuff easily - eg., any new slokam or rhymes or song she can sing back after hearing for 3 times. should i try going to psych?

BTW she loves reading books! but at the same time to scribble in it horribly and/or to tear them apart. however i always encourage her to read books and have got her several fairy tales and bubbles stories which she loves when i read them out for her

tikka · Jun 23, 2010

Why is 15 kg overweight? If she is taller than the average, that seems fine to me. Her food is reasonably good for a 3 year old and as long as bribing is not involved I dont see the harm in eating some junk food once in a while. If either you or your husband or your families are tall and big built, it is likely she will follow that pattern. But if there is a history of heart diseases in your family, the current advice is to switch to 2 percent fat milk from the third year. That may be something you want to do, if you have not already done that.
She sounds like a regular kid to me, I dont think you need to take her to a psychologist - is that what you mean?
She may require some more structure, which you can easily bring into her life with the help of those around you. Children her age do a lot of pretend plays. I dont know if you ever had tea parties for your dolls or slayed imaginary dragons in your childhood. It sounds like she is into a lot of pretend play.
What DS's school tells me is that when children get to play with a lot more children then their need for pretend play reduces.
Her sleep of course needs some readjusting. Is she staying up that late because Dad comes home late and that is her time with dad? That may be something you want to work on - having dad take some time off or have a family lunch with her also may work providing his workplace cooperates.

tikka · Jun 23, 2010

duplicate post

Vishalini3 · Jun 23, 2010

Check this out for weight percentiles
http://www.who.int/childgrowth/standards/WFA_girls_0_5_percentiles.pdf

SupSam · Jun 23, 2010

Hi tuffy,

My DD Sam is exactly the same age and as and when I went through your post , I felt as if you are writing about Sam. She is exactly the same...EXACTLY....getting adamant...making up lies at times....moody when it comes to follow some instructions...and being worried I too checked out with other parents and I realised its not that much a matter of worry...its a matter of that age phase. SO you too needn't worry so as to reach out to a psyche

Yes, I agree to the above ladies that your DD's sleep routine definitely need some change. If she goes to school, takes no nap ...still she is awake till 12 ..thats not a good habit...not even for her mental growth. I too am a working mother and my DD's eating routine n pattern is almost the same as you stated with just the items at times being different than yours....and I dont think 15kg is overweight. DD's doc never said so for her..she too is a googly woogly girl..I wont call her plump.

I think we just need to change our ways of interaction with them .See kids get bored with usual stuff plays and routines too soon so its we, parents who need to keep options open. Lately..since it has really turned too hot..I DH and DD take a shower together in our swimsuits before sleep time say around9.30 thats half n hour after dinner...that time is becoming fun for us. SHe too enjoys...gets her teeth brushed willingly...and out of excitement n enjoyment she has started properly responding to our questions about her dance classes...her friends n all. You needn't worry ...just explore and implement ALl the best.

Supriya.

sandhyadubai7 · Jun 28, 2010

tuffyshri said: ↑

My daughter is 3 and half years old (3 years and 10 months to be precise) is all active girl. I want to confirm with other moms on -
1) her food habit
2) her weight
3) her activities

1) food habit - in the morning she takes 1 large glass of milk or bournvita with 1 spoon sugar added in it. very rarely she takes tiffin for breakfast - she will definitely take bread, noodles, idli. but never take dosa, upma, pongal, pasta. she goes to school where I give her 2 snacks - one biscuit and one fruit or sundal (dont know in english) or raisins, dates or cakes or cheerios. She comes home in the afternoon and my maid feeds her lunch - dal rice and curd rice with some vegetables. after that she will take milk in the evening with some biscuits or fruits. at night 1 chapathi, little bit of dal and curd rice. at times she takes chips etc.

2) she is 15 kgs now and the doctor says she is over-weight. i dont know her real height but is taller than the usual 3.5 group. For me she looks plumpy - can any food habit to be changed.

3) morning is all packed with daily routine, drink milk and leave for school. i dont know what she does in school - she never opens her mouth. (i always hear that she was taught ABCD (for whole 2 years? uh!) and some coloring. ) i know she is an active person where she tries to explore lot of things. even at home she is an expert in breaking things. she can just like that pull things apart or break open any doll. give her a cardboard and you can see the pieces of it. give her a doll and she can do an anatomy of it. she keeps talking to herself always something or the other. if i ask her what she is doing she will say she is playing. then i ask her "What are you playing" "Game" (whoa!!!!???) "What game?" "play game". she loves to do the role play - me as her and she as me or me as her and she as teacher/driver/maid/mom/dad, etc. when you ask her to do something she will immediately respond in negative "no" "matten (i wont)", etc. am pretty upset with her way of growing and need inputs. she doesnt listen until i threaten her to throw out of house or tie with rope, etc. soemtimes she listens to me as a good girl - like she will arrange the stuff into shelf but will not arrange her own toys. i dont understand her likes and dislikes and carries away with whatever seems good for her. i can say it short - adamant! she will be all fine until i ask her to put her toys away, that is when she will say her hands are paining, her back is itching, etc. bu now a days often she complaints of pain in the leg, dunno why. not sure if is real but when she says it i feel so sorry for her. why would a small child get pains and all?
she stays up at night until 12, even if I sleep away. she gets up very late which cannot be corrected at all. she doesnt takes nap. no complaints for watching TV - she is ok on that perspective. not a fussy eater. eager to learn new things. can grasp stuff easily - eg., any new slokam or rhymes or song she can sing back after hearing for 3 times. should i try going to psych?

BTW she loves reading books! but at the same time to scribble in it horribly and/or to tear them apart. however i always encourage her to read books and have got her several fairy tales and bubbles stories which she loves when i read them out for her
Click to expand...

dear tuffi

dont worry
my daughter is nearly two and half. now she is as what u told abt ur child. she is not overweight according to me. my daughter is 13 kgs now. she is correct now. dont insist her to do her own duties. SHe will learn by herself. As u told she is active and grasping things soon. She is just small now. leave it to her choice. she will be a good girl.

Regds
Sandhya

Chandan · Jul 8, 2010

Hello tuffy Shri,
I am the mother of a 33 month old baby girl. She is around 14kgs now. According to ur mail u doing all that we can do to provide for kids.Though 15kgs os not a ba dweight at all for a 3 1/2 year old,I have some suggestions for u only if you are really worried about ur daughter's weight. Replace sugar in morning milk with honey or patika bellam powder. I too am a bournvita girl and i know that lovely taste. I am sure that supplement itself has enough sweetness so... just try this for a while and see the difference.

shrukri · Jul 9, 2010

K my DD imitates her teacher all the time...Does this too mean she need more kids to play, n it'll reduce........Almost the whole time she pretends calling out names , talking, teaching....etc etc.......

ptamil2007 · Jul 15, 2010

I do not think 15 kgs is overweight. My son is 28 months old and he is close to 14 kgs. so as per his height he is at 50% and for his weight he is at 75%. All that matters is the kid is active. they spend all their energy in jumping and running around.