10 Years Of Marriage How To Keep Spice Up

@akshaya452,

The first step in cordial relationship with the spouse is admitting the faults and fixing it which you had done well so clearly in your write up above. A successful marriage doesn't necessarily mean no friction between the spouses but how they handle them and overcome that quickly makes the difference. Recognizing each other's strengths, consulting each other, maintaining transparency with each other, trying to learn from each other, agreeing to raise the children based on values mutually agreed, becoming totally trustworthy, sharing the responsibilities among the spouses, volunteering to do something with no expectations, showing gratitude in actions for something well done for the family, words of praise for career growth and development, following a responsible financial discipline, etc. play a prominent role in good spousal relationship. Never give up your spouse to anyone outside of the relationship is an important trait as well including the parents.

I am not necessarily an expert in this matter and I am just listing a few thoughts that came to my mind in my 38 years (soon to be 39 years) of married life. I am sure many ILites will share their thoughts here and I am just opening this discussion with my 2 cents.

 

Congratulations OP! I would say keep doing what you are doing! Looks like your marriage is on a great track and you two respect each other.

If you want to do something different, maybe get gifts (anything small but that has a special meaning for your spouse) every now and then (but don’t expect a gift in return) or plan to go out for lunch once in a while just two of you when kids are at school.
Parenting is all-consuming and most couples don’t get to spend time together.

 

Simple things you can do:
1) Start a shared hobby or interest if you don’t already have one. My DH and I used to love hiking and camping but we have had to recalibrate after having a child. Now we watch movies of mutual interest and solve jigsaw puzzles together. It’s not the same but it’s something we can do at home after our child’s bedtime and it gives us a couple of evenings a week to change up the routine.

2) Small acts of kindness, both practical and spontaneous. It could be as simple as getting flowers, making sure each other’s cars are washed and gassed up, making a favorite meal or a splurge like getting a surprise piece of jewelry or anything else that’s a want.

3) Try to arrange time for a regular date night for just the two of you. Perhaps you can get a babysitter, or trade childcare with a friend. We do this between 3 families so each of us gets to go out once a month. It will be a great way to reconnect as a couple and talk about something other than the day-to-day grind.

4) This is something that may not apply to everyone but once or twice a month we also give each other time off. For example, a morning to sleep in, or an afternoon to go out alone with friends, or go alone to some event that may not be of mutual interest.

 

+1
Along with all the points mentioned by Malstrom, i want to add that physical intimacy is very important. It need not always be about the "deed" but romantic surprise pecks on cheek or random hugs, expressingonce in a while - how much you love and value each other is important..

And OP you deserve an applause not just because you had the guts to admit your marriage had a rough phade due to you but because of the maturity you have to handle it and now you both are back to normal again.

Best wishes to you both.

 

There could be something in this video for OP

 

In my opinion..Early days of wedding is when we are young and naive in many ways..the thrill will be there.

Now older and wiser things are different and the way we express love will be different.It won’t and need not be the same.

At this age it is more of care and companionship.The romance which was movie like in early days won’t or need not repeat again.

We need to recreate new things.

First our expectations from our spouse should be low and we need to start being happy with oneself.

Get a new haircut and try different dressing.Get fitter and once you resonate positively it will rub on the other person.


Also space and acceptance is very important with each other.

Try taking a vacation without kids to places of your choice.Go on a dinner date.small things will make things look different.


You guys are on a good track and all the best