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How to Manage alone when husband is on a trip

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Aniyaa, Jun 28, 2007.

  1. Aniyaa

    Aniyaa New IL'ite

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    Hi .....
    My hubby has to travel sometimes for his job.. .. which leaves me alone at home for one or 2 months sometimes.......
    I feel really lonely and sad... :icon_frown:
    When he is travelling i stay with my parents... though its not very difficult to manage.. I get tensed abt him for no reason....
    I get overly tensed especially when he is travelling and unable to concentrate on anything at hand... :cry:
    I am in a sad state of mind till he comes back.... :cry:
    How do you deal with it when your husband needs to travel .. ??
    And do your husbands also travel frequently... ??
    Pleasee let me know

    Thanks
     
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  2. Huma

    Huma Silver IL'ite

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    hi
    i am in the same boat too...

    i do get worried about hubby somewhere....what he does......like that.
    i have children so my mind is occupied.
    and whe can do whatever we want if hubby was there we wouldn't do.
    so dont worried to much and enjoy time with ur mother and friends

    bye
     
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  3. kanaka Raghavan

    kanaka Raghavan IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear aniyaa
    First do not brood over your husband.Have full faith that God would take care of him.You cannot keep thinking about him all the time.If you express your feelings to your husband then he would find it difficult to concentrate on his work.Your lucky that you have your parents near you.Help them out.You can do so many things for them like going to the bank,paying the billsetc.,.Then you join some classes.You can even take up a good job that would keep you occupied.You can even join social service organisations.Even joining gyms and yoga classes would be fine.Join some library andbooks are always good companions.Taking your favourite hobby would be fine.If your in laws could come and stay with that would also fine.You have your life to carry on .It would pave way for your family's wellbing in the long run .
    yours kanaka raghavan.
     
  4. prakritikaul

    prakritikaul New IL'ite

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    Dear Aniyaa, Hi .....
    Try to engage urself in sm wrk....don't think too much..Your hubby has to travel for his job..think +ve and take a +ve approach towards urself...no doubt u feel lonesome bt join smthing for ur enhancement...in't it.....:) :2thumbsup: .......... no need to get tensed abt him. he will be well...all this he is doing 4 ur n his better life....
    Try to spend more time wen he is back...n njoy!!!!!!

    Bye n yake care....
     
  5. Sashmitaa

    Sashmitaa Senior IL'ite

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    Hey Aniyaa,

    Try to enjoy your stay at moms place. I feel sad I couldnot stay at my moms more than four or five days. It is allbecause of my husband which I dontwnat to discuss elaborately. You will have more freedom to go anywhere at your moms than in ur inlaws Enjoy:2thumbsup: :2thumbsup:

    love
    Lakshmi
     
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  6. So Sure

    So Sure Senior IL'ite

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    hi Aniyaa,
    I understand you perfectly 'coz I'm in the same boat for the last 10 years. My husband travels too.
    Feeling lonely? That I understand! The companionship between a husband and wife cannot be fulfilled by parents or friends. First of all, you should know that he will come back to you ASAP. He will miss you as much as you miss him. He is not sitting there for fun. Also, did you try traveling with him? You can travel or visit him at his work place. You both can go look around the new place on weekends. That would be good for your relationship. If you have kids, you can take them with you sometimes or leave them with your parents. Also, allot a time everyday to call him. Make that call special to both of you. Of Course, you can call anytime if you have an emergency.
    Why should you get tensed when he is traveling? Is he a rash driver? Talk to him about it. There is nothing to be tensed. I'm sure he is a big boy and can take care of himself.
    Don’t feel sad… I understand you miss him. This is life! If you can change it, do something about it. If you cannot, staying depressed is not a good solution. Like the others said, keep yourself engaged. :goodidea:
    I have 2 kids. I keep myself busy with their activities. I work too. I have some activity everyday. Tennis, swimming, kumon… etc. I keep myself happy.
    Cheer up!! Regards,
    Sharada
     
  7. Anushiv

    Anushiv Senior IL'ite

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    I too belong to this group. my Husband travels a lot!
    Like huma mentioned my children keeps me occupied.
    At times, I'm stressed up... busy cooking/cleaning & taking care of children ( 24hrs. job)
    But nowadays slowly, I'm learning to be contented. instead of brooding...( which is no use!)
    Like sharada mentioned, I too join my husband (in traveling) with my children during holiday season.
    When free, I kill my time by watching movies/reading books/ chatting with friends...& of course this wonderful website is there for us to share & care!
    Right Ladies?
     
  8. Aniyaa

    Aniyaa New IL'ite

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    Hi ,
    Thanks Kanaka , Huma , prakriti , sashmita , So Sure , Anushiv... for your replies :) .
    Your messages very encouraging and helped me to increase my peace of mind......
    Yes , I am occupied thru out the day with work and my baby... but the nagging thot doesn't seem to leave.. Anyway I am really happy to get your views on this .....
    I also read good books that help me to feel positive...
    About travelling with him.... its not very feasible.... as I will have to take my baby too...
    Yes I do message him and mail him.. I avoid calling as it makes me more sad ...

    Anyway thanks for your replies
    :thankyou2:
    Aniya
     
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  9. shyamalabala

    shyamalabala New IL'ite

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    Dear Anniya,

    I too am sailing in the same boat for the past 10 years. Atleast you are lucky to stay at your parents when ur hubby is on tours. Whereas my story is the other way, I hail from B'lore and and settled in delhi stay in joint family as the eldest DIL. so the whole burden of the family is on my head.
    Inspite of all this even if I want to go to my parents, it is not possible as I lost my mom b4 my marriage and father 2 yrs after marriage. And top of all I have a brother and SIL who will not like to have me even for a short period say even for 4-5 days during vacations. I hardly go there once in 5-6 yrs, even then I'm unwelcome. So I have resigned myself 2 my in-laws, and adjust even when there are some problems.
    So try to indulge yourself in some hobbies, join some courses, and now that yu have a child enjoy all the pranks played by him. But foremost have faith in God and ur hubby and never think -ve "ALWAYS BE +VE".

    I hope I hve not hurt your feelings, if any pl excuse me.

    Bye.
     
  10. Anandchitra

    Anandchitra IL Hall of Fame

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    very interesting topic ladies!!
    I think many people are in this boat. at different times maybe less frequent. I have a son who I am busy with taking to classes etc. i like to Scrapbook and gardening. I have also painted all the rooms inside the house. this time when my husband travels to china i'm planning to clean the garage totally and also paint. these projects keep me busy. unfortunately for me i can never sleep well when my husband is not there so i catch up with naps. i see some t.v. goto temple. talk to my husband over the internet.
    so keeping oneself occupied is always good. But dont worry or get too anxious. Being religious helps.
    regards
    chitra:-D
     

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