How to handle cunninf MIL and DH

priyankav789 · Jun 24, 2009

Hi Everybody

Recently i came to know about this web site and impressed
Today i became a member of this

I will explain my situation at home
I am working and got married three years before
From the first day it self mt Dh and MIL wanted my in their control
initially i could not observe

For each and every thing i have to ask my MIL and take permission.
Then only my husband used to agree for that.

initially i didn' faced any problem, i thought anyway they are elders like that,

But day by day my situation became very worst.

I went to work till i was 9 months carrying also
And after delivery also, they forced me to go in the second month itself
If i recollect those days i get tears in my eyes

recently i came to know that they have used my money with out my notice
My husband operates my accounts also

My MIL and FIL are very Cunning, infront of my DH they behave smoothly and if he is not present they behave differently

Always they throw comments on me or my family even infront of my husband, He wont respond for that

He also throws comments on my family.

I fee my home just like a hell.

I am not understanding how to face these problems

How to take control of the situation

Please suggest me

Priyanka

supriyaakp · Jun 24, 2009

Without your notice how he can operate on your accounts? Please take immediate steps. If you are having personal account,you can inform the bank officials to cancel the online banking,credit card etc. they will help. What have they done with that money? If they bought any assets with that money, compell them to change that asset to you name or to your child's name.
They are thinking that you are a money-making machine.
Come-on priyanka, be bold. Start making comments about them infront of your DH. In what matter he is supportive to you?You are a money making sex making machine?
Just walk out of this family with your child. Your loss in enough.

priyankav789 · Jun 25, 2009

Hi Supriya,

Thanks for the response
But i am not able to dare to come out of family because my parents may be depressed with this decision.
Anyway i will try to be bold infront of my DH and MIL, FIL
Once again thanks for reply
I got bit confidence after reading your message.

Priyanka

suma21 · Jun 25, 2009

Hi Priyanka,

Lots of hugs to you.You are educated,independent girl,why are you so submissive?Stand up for urself.
1.Open a personal account,divert your salary to that,just say its for your kid's future & we can easily track if we have seperate account.Prepare an excel show it to your hubby of your financial goal for ur kid's future.
2.You dont have to ask permission.Just inform them & do what you want to do.Just nod to what they say & do what u want.we respect our elders,they should deserve it too.
3.Be very confident with smile put your opinion but dont fight\argue,let your hubby understand you are not submissive & have enough courage to lead an independent life.
4.If you dont want to work leave the job,tell them i miss my kid & kid's infancy will never come back.Do some certification while at home & resume work when kid is around 2-3 years.Dont be a working machine if you dont want to.Join some mom-child group & have a great social life while at home.Enjoy your time with kid.
5.if MIL is cunning,dont entertain her.Ignore.Be silent never complain about her to DH.Ignore & dont respond to her tandrums while alone.That way she will know,you dont take crap from her.She will stop it eventually.
work on your relationship with hubby & kid.just mute the whole world.

Please stand up for urself before its too late.Hope this helps

Take Care
Suma

chaitusri · Jun 25, 2009

Already you have received suggestions from our frds

Just my 2 cents here

1)Be bold and explain your husband the value of wife and husband relationaship bond and make him clear that your parents are important for you as same as his parents to him.In one day he may not change, but one day he may understand you.

2)Try to spend as much time as possible with your husband and kid.Take the intiative for it. Put all your money in monthly saving plans and if needed don't afraid to help your parents financially.

This is your life, you should be wise and careful to make it beautiful.

priyankav789 · Jun 26, 2009

Hi Suma, & Chaitu

Really feel very happy and confident after reading your messages.
I feel like somebody is there to share my feelings toooo.
Thanks a lot dear. I will follow your suggessions and hope one day definetly my DH will understand me.

Thanks