How much do you reveal to your inlaws

Hi Heartbeat,
How much information do you reveal to your inlaws? - Anything major or important we tell to our inlaws.
Do you tell your MIL everything you buy. -- No, my DH and myself dont remember too much on small details, so we dont discuss it on call to India..
Like if you buy new jewelery or new cloths or any big house hold article - jewellery i only talk more with inlaws on such things, so i tell them. New Clothes naa we dont tell such small thing, big house hold article.. umm never bought something so big. we tell them we bought new car or move house things like that.. but not petty things
will you share the details with her or your spouse reveals everything to them. - i talk more anxiously about such items with them.. DH does not bother on such things. Basically he was living out in other countries for long, so he is very independent, so is not used to telling everything.
What's your reaction when your husband gives the information even though you don't like it? I dont like him telling he cooked so i just give him a look if he says he cooked today and he immediately changes saying yaa i cooked and she was helping me.. here in US we both have to help each other.. haha.. cool.. but no major issues.. thanks to God

 

Hello heartbeats ,
I enjoyed to read but in my case its all different. i lived at diff.place and my mil are in diff state but each day she called me that what r u doing . what u will make in dinner . how is weather. yesterday was holiday so where u both went .lots of que . if we want to buy anything and she knows then this things r in this range only and buy from this shop only..... in that she knows all ,that what we buy or do whole day may be it is a trick to know what we do. if i didn't pick her phone after her multiple call then she calls to my dh at office and tell him that she worried about me what happen why i didn't pick her phone .
my dh always told me don't picked up phone but if i do so they called me more and more .

so u r lucky in that . and some times she did cross verification also with my dh . about very small things like dinner menu or shop details or many more.

every day i get mad after talking with them . but it all happening and i don't get way.

 

Touch wood and Thanks to God :bowdown that i have lovely MIL and SIL. When i read all posts here i feel so sad for them. My MIL is very good lady. Small incident only once she asked me what did you cook today, i dont know vegetable names correclty in telugu ( I am telugu girl but never entered kitchen before) so i asked my DH what is that i cooked today that green curry.. she started laughing.. and saying I dont know english and you dont know full telugu.. it was fun.. :rotflthen she never asked me what i cooked.. i ask her what she ate in turn.. and about her health..not that i understand the vegetable name :rotfl

 

I wasn't married yesterday and from experience, have learned that loose lips sink ships, esp. when it comes to the in-laws. I keep my mouth shut at all times. No loose talk with MIL, even though she likes to fish for information.

Hubby knows better than to open his mouth about anything that concerns me. He can tell them anything that concerns ONLY him - such as his health, his job, etc - but when it is a JOINT issue (such as planning investments or daughter's school plans etc) or when it concerns ONLY me (my career plans, my FOO affairs etc), then he knows to zip it. EVEN if he accidentally blabbers something and MIL tries to wheedle info out of me, ALL she gets are a plastic smile and a not-so-subtle change of topic. Once or twice, she's confronted me about "not divulging" personal info and I bluntly told her that full disclosure on stuff that do not affect her isn't warranted. None of your damned business, MIL.

DILs of the world: Please keep your mouth TIGHTLY shut when it comes to your in-laws and never ever indulge in loose talk with them. MOST PILs aren't looking to be your best friends, and you NEVER know when the info you unwittingly let out will come back to haunt you. Just ask my friend who told her MIL that her husband cooked her dinner one day... and you'll know where I'm coming from!

 

Well said Rihana & Malyatha !

I say I had been to beach during the weekend, and my child falls sick almost around 20 days later... i am 'told' that its coz she was taken to beach, and "allowed to play in the water for a long time". All that is in quotes here are magnification of what was 'understood' from what was 'told'.

I say "take a shower and come amma, you must be tired after the long journey" to mil when she is just back from a condolence, pat comes the reply "i hv already taken bath in athai's house, do you think i will enter the kitchen without taking bath after visiting a death house?"

I say I have an examination at work and I manage to prepare for the same during my leisure time at work. a month later, due to typical growth spurt in my toddler, she turns a little crankier than usual, and I am told that I did not hv the time to spend with her because i was preparing for the examination, and that was the reason for this crankiness.

I am averse to such wierd imaginations. I better keep my mouth shut, yes.. I hv got a name.. "tight lipped" as against the 'most talkative girl' name that i got in college. Just with watching me walk around the house thinking abt my own work at office, my kid's school admissions, my parent's health, my brother's transfer etc, I am chafed to limits. I donot hv the energy to divulge something thats unnecessary to them and invite trouble. If at all there is anything that needs to be told necessarily, my DH and myself rehearse with each other before opening our mouth. believe me ! i can come up with more points on, what my inlaws would ask/say/think in reply to what we say, than their own son.

 

Usually jewels for me are bought by my parents and In case I select some jewellery and my parents get it for me , I dont usually tell my in laws. The only time I told my in laws was when my parents got me a jewellery set in my first visit and my in laws demanded to know what my parents got. That was it. After that I havent bought much and even if I buy or get jewellery from my family I dont mention. My husband doesnt impose me to tell them anything. My inlaws too havent gifted me much except a thin chain on my first visit. So that too is eliminated.

It hasnt come to major purchases here like house or anything to mention it to my in laws.Of course my husband doesnt believe in telling each and everything to my in laws so that makes it easy.Being married for quite for some time (more than 5 yrs)I have learnt that its always better that my in laws have no knowledge of major purchases here . If its inevitable then I will tell them otherwise no.Call me rude or insensitive ,Its after yrs of painful abuse I got from my in laws.

 

Rihana , Malyatha

What you both said is 100% true.. :thumbsup

Even I try to avoid giving to many details..even to my parents.
But my MIL wants to know EVREYTHING.. from what I cooked that day to when we are going for grocery shopping..
Whatever I cook , I am definitely bound to get a comment on what to cook, how to cook, why I am not cooking many items, not cooking greens etc.. and this happens EVERYTIME I answer this question. It is a question that really puts me off and I hesitate to call my mil because of this...
but my DH ensures he shares all the minutest details with her bonk
and for that i get a complaint from my MIL to my mother that I dont tell her anything...

but if there is something very sensitive.. i instruct my DH to keep his mouth shut.
for example we are visiting doctor for fertility issues...I dont want all their advice & comments about ttc.. so I have told him strictly not to mention anything about this to them..

any purchases we make (major or minor).. we HAVE TO inform my MIL and my DH take care of that .only my MIL is interested in all this.. my FIL only asks if both of us are doing good..and thats it..