length of stay

sashie · Oct 22, 2008

hi fellow ilites, my il's will be coming soon for a visit...of course they haven;t told me anything about it yet(they only talk to dh about things like this)....My ques to you all, should i bring up the this topic with il's on phone?? I don;t know when they are coming or leaving, and everything else about their trip. I would like to have a plan, but sometimes i;m not made aware of the whole situation.....how do you all tackle this?
sash:cheers

revathyramesh · Oct 22, 2008

hi sash

in laws means mil and fil.wait till ur husband tell u the news.

if u know abt their way of living like going to temple,their hobbies like listen to music or watching tv.what they like to eat ,

if u know exactly they are coming next week then get some extra groceries,renting dvd,giving connection to cable. .
Get some blankets,towel,pillows extra.since its winter.

for trips discuss with ur husband and fix a budget and move on .

let say if ur husband budget is $1000 then u should keep it as $1300.
so later it will not bite our hand.

always have some extra budget for medicals alone.

donot get tensed.give them warm welcome.

hope u will have good day.

revathy

SupriyaDinesh · Oct 22, 2008

Hi Sashie..I feel you can ask your DH.If you are particular about asking to In-laws then just ask when they are coming and not about their return dates.

Chandramukhi · Oct 22, 2008

I don't get it. Why can't you ask your dh when their parents are coming and how long their stay will be. In my opinion it is a very normal question.

sandhya303 · Oct 23, 2008

Hi, I think you should ask your about when they are coming. There really isnt anything wrong with that. If your parents were to come wouldnt your hubby ask you the same? I am sure he too would want to know. Make it sound like it will help you with planning for their stay.

Renu1999 · Oct 23, 2008

I agree with everyone here. Dont ask your Inlaws . ask your husband first.

sandhya303 · Oct 28, 2008

Sashie dear, did you ask your husband about their stay. I hope the thing is resolved for you.

Love,
Sandhya

sashie · Oct 29, 2008

hi ladies, thanks for the input, yes i asked DH(better than asking il;s), he told me the information i needed, so that i can plan things. it;s ok that they don;t want to tell me directly, but they also told dh not to tell me any details, and that i don;t need to know when they are coming/going thats why i posted this question.......that comment was hurtful but i will get thru this cuz of all of you!!!!
thanks and happy diwali
sashDrowningDrowning

sonu1973 · Oct 29, 2008

Hi Sashie

Hope u are doing well....Read ur post...sad to hear that ur inlaws have still remained the same...i guess they never will though..its just wishful thinking...
Mine do the same Sashie..directly speak to my dh about when they want to come....infact can u imagine they bring their own chicken and meat as they say its not as good in our area as its in theirs...lol wat a joke...and then i bring all the food and its a waste for me...
But u know what i dont sit there and entertain anymore if they want to tell their son and deal with him then they go ahead if i have made plans to go out i carry on and go as then they should speak to me and also tell me....
thats terrible wat they say to ur dh...i think u should take it up with them when they come that why are they talking like this...would ur dh not say anythng to them?

mildew · Nov 17, 2008

Hi,
Simple solution 1: Tell your hubby that now as you are a part of that family, you need to know stuff. And why is everyone hiding stuff from you. As you run the house, and are an integral and new part of the family, you should be made to feel a part of it. And tell him that though his parents think differently, to avoid heartaches you would like to show them that you can be part of the family too. So he should involve you in all the details, so there is more bonding.

If this doesn't work, then

Simple solution 2: Keep talking to your husband..and getting all info from him. Then when husband isn't around...keep dropping the information you have (specially their family issues,etc) and pretend that you know more than what you actually know. Then, they will realise that your husband tells you everything...and stop hiding stuff from you.
Show them that your husband and you are really close and share each and everything.

Hope this works!