I really feel good when I do things on my own.It makes me feel in control,independent and responsible.Also it is a little bit of exercise. I was talking to some neighbors and many complained over lack of help.They keep saying driver,maid etc etc is there I agree there are many wonderful things about India but in my heart I love doing. Things on my own.Sometimes yes it can get hectic due to kids schedules Work but one does not realize how much we multitask here like a pro. Everytime I go to India the maid is a headache with her own timings etc.Unless u give a good sum But honestly not everyone can be reliable and they drop out just like that. Secondly I feel even retired men and women in abroad are active.They have good access to walking areas plus when they do housework on their own..it keeps them physically and mentally active.My aunts back in India are so tired despite all the househelp even in their fifties. Another thing is as much as we talk about gym and workout..I feel people across all ages do more workout abroad that in India the ratio is relatively high abroad.Due to weather, office travel time or schedule of maid or kids maybe the ratio is less. Again I love driving in the US and I would not enjoy driving in India in the traffic.I feel drivers are more of a necessity than the luxury. However when it comes to friendships,socializing,functions,vibes and theme restaurants India is fantastic! Nothing to beat that feel! So what are your opinions about help when it comes to abroad vs India?
Help like maid servant and driver is more affordable in India. In the initial years in the U.S., doing everything like cleaning the house, toilets, laundry was a great feeling. It was nice to be independent, no need for maids, and just a satisfaction of DIY labor. But once the busy years of parenting started, I wished for daily help. Would have been nice to have a reliable driver to take kids to activities. In general, I dream of being so rich that if I live in India, I employ one person to manage the maids, driver and other help. : ) And in the U.S., I would like to hire help at least 6-8 hours a week -- for cleaning the house, the bathrooms, periodic cleaning like window coverings, cooking, laundry, folding clothes, taking car for maintenance, sorting closets, taking things to Goodwill, decor redoing, choosing furniture. I don't mind doing all those things myself, but the freed up hours could be used for things like reading, music, learning a new language, skill, instrument, non-profit work, travel, building something.
I have reached a stage where I want to work on my projects uninterrupted. So I would prefer helper/cook who can take over the work so I can continue my work in peace. As my kids are moving out slowly, I have no interest to cook or clean.
If there is a CHATGPT to wash those dishes . I am done and happy for life. my and my dh are done . it is exhausting and depressing.
US is different. Houses are generally much bigger, both spouses often work and there is just so much more stuff compared to India. More to sort, wash, clean, store……and help is also expensive. It would be nice to have a person come twice a day like in India for tidying and laundry.
I am rather lucky in this matter. I don't know how it happened, but sometime around the end of the pandemic, I started to lose my place in the kitchen. : ) : ) DH's interest in cooking grew. I happily made space in the cabinets for the big woks, and paneer strainer that keep arriving from Amazon. Now, he will know more about the fridge, and if we stop for groceries unplanned, he will know if we need staples like cilantro, tomato, onion, gr chilies. Kid came home in long weekend, redistributed some things in fridge door, and got a lecture from dad. : ) Cleaning also has been reduced to once in 10 days, we do it super fast and max 1.5 hrs. And I also have friendships to dial down. I am all set.
It is interesting how our mind words in the US as opposed to when you visit India to reside in our own house. My wife and I share most work between us. She cooks everyday and I am in charge of cutting vegetables and sometimes cleaning the sink and putting the dishes into the dishwasher. She juggles work and her classes to learn recitation. I juggle my work and domestic work as I work from home. In the US, the cleaning crew comes to do detailed cleaning once in 15 days and regular cleaning is done by us. But when we go to India, we get lost somehow as we need help of someone to drive us around. We engage some one to cook and someone to clean the house. We consider the visit to India as vacation despite so much of piled up work we need to accomplish every trip. Hopefully, the next visit will be relaxing and enjoying the new home.
