Relations with abusive in-laws?

ASG and PMHasena,

You guys are lucky to have such husbands. You know what my DH says for the double behaviour i.e in my inalws presence and absence that I am atleast lucky that you ahve a husband who is good in their absence my sisters have got husbands whoa re second MIL to my sisters. I don't say he is acompleet jerk at their presence but he is a silent spectator he can't help it. He will never take the action what ASG your DH took or He will never taunt his mother indirectly like PMHAsena your DH did. The day my MIL scolds me I cry he is calm next day when my MIL feels better she is back to normal and I have to be normal. There is nothing much I can do. NO fight back nor my DH fights back it's just listena nd ignore and move on with our lives I know it sounds bad but this is my life.

 

I have seen that even if girl is financially independent... in laws want her money and want to abuse... it is indeed curse to be a woman

 

I read this thread and I know it was a long time ago...but abuse does not have to be tolerated by anyone. I live in the USA and experienced Domestic Violence at the hands of my Inlaws. Mine was extreme abuse. My mother in law verbally abused and threatened me and my family. She screamed Gujarati Profanities at me and threatened to kick me out of my home. The straw that broke the camels back was my husbands anger. I called the Police and he was arrested and I almost got a protective order for my son. The two days in Jail and almost loss of reputation to him and his family changed him. He realized and made me cut the relations with his parents. My therapist also encouraged me to open up to family in my community. In the USA - At least in my community - we don’t think like that. But I was afraid of divorce too.But since my son is growing up here as An American we have to raise him as such. When I told other elders they were so supportive. My Mother in Laws name has been ruined and everybody is supporting my mom and me. Just know that Donestic Abuse of any kind is illegal in USA and India. There is a Penal Code Section and Protection of Women from Violence Act. It’s not ok. Your mental health comes first. And if you have kids - protect them.

 

Also you can find a local NGO to help you - there are South Asian ones for Women In America.