Gender Disappointment - How To Cope?

I think it is mostly because I grew up with a sister, and cousin sisters, not very many cousin brothers. Also, I grew up in a very conservative family - where girls were brought up to married away. Growing up, I was not very conservative and people kept talking me down on what I should do and should not do. For me, the world was open and welcoming for boys and girls were forced to stay inside. I got my freedom after marriage and moving to America, but those childhood/teenage experience made me think world is a better place for boys. But with my first child I didn't have much of a preference, even though she is only 8, we are best friends who reads each others minds. It was just when it came to second one, I just wanted a difference experience. And when we wish for something and if we didnt get it, that is the kind of disappointment I am dealing with. My disappointment is mostly because I didnt get what I wanted, I am sure I will make peace with it.

 

I guess everyone has their on vision of perfect family. Ideally, I want three kids !!
My husband's family and my family are similar to what you described. They are all boys family and we are all girls family. I think have moved away and already made peace with the fact that the baby is not the gender I wanted. I feel much better now when compared to the state of mind I was writing the original post. Writing in this forum definitely helped. One other thing that helped very much is talking to my DD. she is excited and all she kept saying was "I always wanted a sibling!!!" and kept planning what to do with the baby!!!

I am such a planner, so that might have affected my emotional state as well. I remember that last year, we were trying to get a house custom built, and I have planned and picked everything that goes into the house and even what kind of plants and flowers to go in the front yard. But we backed out the day we were supposed to sign the contract and it was a huge heart break for me. I think ahead a lot about something and it becomes devastating when it doesnt happen. In this case, I was thinking about a baby boy, things I would teach him and everything, painting the perfect family picture (the Christmas cards, our festivals etc etc).
Thank you for sharing your story with me.

 

I used to think MIL knew better than me. My MIL was a nurse who worked outside India for years, who was well versed in 3 languages and had traveled a lot, but she still chose to hold on to her old belief system even after all that. She was trying to play all the superstition cards with me to make sure she gets a grandson not a granddaughter.

 

Thank you for your words. I am already feeling better and I have moved away from brooding on the disappointment I had couple days ago. Hopefully it wont come back!!

 

I am the older one in my family. But my husband is the youngest one, also he is the most pampered one in their family (extended family included).