Need Your Input

Ask your frnd to tell her husband stritcly not to tell abt all this to his parents atleast till they stay with them as it wud cause stressful environment in the house which will be harmful for everyone mostly tp the small kids. If he promises to not tell his parents till they stay then only allow him to call them to live with them else tell ur frnd to be firm n say not to invite them or else she will move out with kids if he tells his parents. ( If its not India then m not sure what are the legal rules if one of the spouse moves out with kids without the others permission ...so pls check that)

 

If ur friend is headed along the path of divorce I see no reason to stay back and endure verbal abuse.

 

If she made up her mind for divorce, they can start the paperwork now. Even if his parents come, they can do without their knowledge if thats the intention. Divorce process is time consuming and takes years. If she delays now, she might again slip into the dilemma and get into the comfort circle.

 

The marriage is already over, she needs to tell him to move out ASAP. I think he is being very unreasonable, verbally abusing her and then expecting her to take care of his parents, how can anyone be so hypocritical?!
He needs to go, that's it. She has to be strong and ask him to move out by a certain date and then make sure that he does. Does she have any friends who can back her up on the day he needs to move out?

Also, as soon as he has moved out, I would ask her to change all the locks asap!!

 

He will tell his parents very soon for sure if he needs to get their support. Men cant handle all this mental trauma when he thinks he is not at fault.

So now, the thought process should be how to respond when questions are asked. The story might reverse and they may become over sweet to her to make her stay in the marriage. What does she want to do then?

 

He is a male chavunistic pig! Abuses his own wife ..uses vulgar words n yet wants her to serve his parents while he wants to end the marriage...lol ... What is he? Tell ur friend to kick him out....if he wants to stay then he shud shut his mouth.
Aak ur frnd to get him to write on a paper n sign it that till he is staying with her n his parents are here...he shud not abusr her either physical or emotional or mental...and that he would not tarnish her character infront of anyone....
If he abides by these rules its fine else u frnd shud tell him to get lost now itself n stary the divorce process asap!

I maybe wrong but i have a doubt on why he is calling his parents over to stay with them if he hates his wife n is planning to divorce.
I have this feeling that he wud have already told everything to his parents which is why they are coming there.
Alert your frnd bcoz for me it seems to be that he is trting to gather more strength to his voice by getting his parents. It can be dangerous as 3 v/s 1 and theyay gang up against her.

 

She should just stop being scared of her past .
That will free her.

I think she should refuse to be a serving dil now that they have decided to divorce.
She has been too nice till now and agreeing to everything.

I feel she should blankly tell him that since they have decided to divorce ,she is no longer interested in keeping this false facade of a happy marriage in front of mil.

She should tell him not to play games and just start with the seperation.

She can tell him that if he wants ,she can go to court and seek divorce because of marital disharmony due to her husband not being able to reconcile to her abused past.....but she is not willing to put up with this facade and his threats any longer.

Infact she should offer to inform the family about her abused past herself.

Even if this doesn't work and he still wants to get the mil....she should ask him what is his plan. What exactly is his plan about getting his mom before filing for divorce ? Why is he insisting on getting her and putting on an act of normalcy?
Or is he planning to gang up against her.
Let him know that his plan for a smooth painless divorce will only work if he is willing to treat her respectfully .

Is she dependend on him for her visa or residency .

Frankly speaking,if she has reconciled to the idea of divorce,she should take the first step and take the power from him .Tell her to meet a lawyer and check about her options . Why should she have to suffer all this humiliation if it is going to result in divorce anyways.

Tell her to suggest that she is thinking of filing for divorce before his mom comes because she is tired of the insults and his behavior.....and no longer interested in keeping a show of normalcy. Tell her not to be scared of her past or of people finding out. That will free her.
Who knows...even after enduring this humiliation ,he may just make a scene later on and blame her.