Husband And Sil

I disagree Rih. There is no way she (bron) can come in and disrupt the existing relationship between the bro and sis. She can try but it will only worsen her situation and position. She (bron) should focus on her things with the H, and leave the H peaceful with his conv with sis during his time with the latter, esp since he is not forcing her to talk to his FOO every day/week like some others have complained. He is not a puppet to listen to her governance on what he needs to be doing in his life with his side of the family of origin.
PS: I know I temporarily broke the rel section quiet spell, just came back to reply since I had previously posted. Back to the quiet.

 

I feel Just talking to his sister without discussing everything about your personal details are fine .

But if she is making you a puppet in your house is not right .
She has no control in your life as She is not the Breadwinner for your family , so why should you listen to her .

Tell your DH tat if he is matured enough to take decisions he need not tell everything to his sister . There is a limit for everything .

Ask him Will his sister be ok if you advice her and control her married life and her family and kids just like how she is doing to you .

 

OP,
If you keep on complaining on this topic to your dh, he will spend more time with his sister. As you don't like her, I am sure your face and body language will show it very clearly. So relax and go on a neutral mode. Give him the idea that your are happy for them, but you need him to protect your privacy.

You are in his life only for the last 4 years (If its arranged marriage, it take time to develop a strong emotional bond). But his sister was there , may be more than two decades. So their relationship is quite stronger than you think. Asking him to stop, just because he married you, is not the right way. In my observation, men take lot of time to adjust with the reality of marriage and accept that his wife should be the first priority. As long as he is taking care you well in all aspects, don't over think and feel bad about it. It adds negativity in to your marriage.

It is not that easy to find a very strong sibling relationship or close knit family. So for the time being let them enjoy their bond and be happy for them. If I were in your place as long as she dont interfere in my own life or control or take away family time , I don't care. Even if she tries, I don't yield in. Talking multiple times in a day may be too much for you, not your dh.

Now your dh is not asking or forcing you to talk to his sister. Use that time for your 'me time' (ask him to take care your kids during that time , one advantage is your dont get irritated by their talk, second your can relax a bit and escape from there). Ignoring is the best option. What you can do is be a happy wife and spend more time with your husband like @Rihana mentioned above. So he will come naturally come to you instead for his sister. Right now talking to his sister may be more relaxing than facing a nagging wife. Make sure the time you spend with him is worth spending for him. Create more family time (for example evening 6-10 PM) and calmly and tactfully ask him to call later or postpone it if the call is during that time. If he talks some thing you don't want to disclose, you can tell him you like your privacy and don't want it to be shared with anyone else including his sister. Be firm on it. Slowly convince your dh. Give him some more time, be a happy zone for him, he will come to you.

 

Hi @bron,

Do you have a brother you can have long conversations with daily, just so that your dh can understand how it feels..

 

Both women are men are equal . Sisters should not keep tranwferring. their responsibilities on brothers head every time . Equal rights come with equal responsibility .

You can set an example for her , by doing everything for your parents , and also treat your sister with as much importance and giving time as your husband gives to his . If he supports you , then you should also not complain about his responsibilities for his family .

 

Next time just give his parents money and say do the booking so it’s easy for you guys..

 

Just ignore.Not worth fighting and even if you fight,it would not yield good results.

You find things to do when he is talking.
Infact...do something nice for yourself every time he calls.

Paint your nails,oil your hair, take a long shower,watch an episode you missed on tv, do yoga or some other form of excerise ,have a big cup of tea, go for a walk....whatever takes your fancy.

From now onwards start start having pity on her.
She has such a small heart that she cannot even buy 500 rs worth of tickets for her parents.

Love @nakshatra1 's suggestion . Take care of the needs of your parents . Between you and your sister,take care of their emotional needs. That isthe best way to make the brother sister know that even the sister can do something for the parents.